Real-life or reality is most often found in conditions that are not in line and as easy as what is imagined.
Before I became a parent, I often imagined myself being,
Good father (parents) to my children
Trying will always be by your side
Trying to be a patient parent.
Like a superhero. 🤣
And there are many more dreams and shadows of me being a parent as he wants to be the best parent for his children
However, after becoming a full-fledged parent, what is the story? It was not as easy as dreaming. Even though it's not like a dream to be a great parent to my children. But every time I keep trying to be a good parent and stay on the corridor chasing the dream of being a good parent for them.
The experience as the Head of the Household who is away from the child every day and every time is of course very different from the experience of parents who only often see their children after work. At first. And once the shadow of a dream even though it is not in line with the dreams and provisions of destiny. In the end, the condition of being a single parent came to my shoulders. Which changes the system of life as a father and husband in general.
The first thing is that being a parent who always meets children turns out to be very different from what I felt before, and being required to care for and educate children all the time is far more likely to be stressful and more demanding than leaving their care and education to someone else. There are many reasons, of course, and I don't think that can be used as an excuse if it's just to understand every mistake I made in educating and raising children.
Because after all, being a father who is also their mother can make me have a greater opportunity in educating and shaping the character of children, and the added value of getting double the value of love back from them. It's been a long time that I don't feel like I've passed and I don't feel like now it's become a normal thing to go through to be a parent of two great, smart, and active sons and daughters, making me learn a lot.
The nature and ultimately their habits also tend to be different in most children who grow up to have complete parents. It could be said that they sometimes do not have the feeling of a woman's love. Sometimes I wonder what about their feelings and self-confidence? Are they having a crisis of confidence? Because of our current existence the cause? And, what should I do to make my children more confident?
So many questions are actually on my mind besides the three questions above. Then where should I ask?
As a father who wants to be a figure that can be imitated and proud of by his children, and can still be a parent who can help maximize their growth and development. Of course, like other parents, they always try to deepen their knowledge and input from various things by reading and listening to the experiences of other people as well as experts in their fields.
A child can indeed experience a crisis of self-confidence which can be caused by the following things, such as frequent scolding, overprotection, lack of affection, too many demands and rules, not having freedom as a child, and many other factors.
After knowing what makes a child can experience a crisis of confidence. As a parent, I am here trying to avoid the various factors that have been mentioned above. Although, sometimes I still often get carried away by emotions or affected by a condition.
However, what if we just found out or have been blatantly educating and raising children in the wrong ways because of the condition that happened to me?
Yes, again read and feel the experience of parenting and raising children. I realized that I personally have many shortcomings. Especially, the lack of a woman's affection. Although I consider myself to have read and consulted enough. However, my knowledge and experience are still far from sufficient.
In realizing my lack of knowledge and experience, I do not hesitate to consult with anyone. Because those who are unwitting sometimes of course have a better solution than those of us who lack experience and knowledge.
Consulting or brainstorming is one of the best ways to solve problems. Because dealing with problems yourself can sometimes actually cause new problems instead of solving problems in the end.
Finally, in the context that I live in right now, if I only see a deficiency then it may not be answered and get a solution. It will only get stuck in the problem. So for this, I try to be open and often have conversations with children asking about their daily existence. At least I know what problems they face in their current world. How have they felt so far? From there I tried to cover it up with all my might to reduce the sense of crisis of confidence in them.