Half of my soul

The pain was scratched by a sharp pain. Numb this time. Want to drown all the love stories with him in the Ocean. Slammed the heart and all the sweet promises that have lodged in my body. Truly unbelievable, seriously, and faithfully betrayed. All dream was destroyed already.

Indeed, from the beginning of this relationship that I have lived, I did not get approval from his family. This relationship is always running into problems. However, I don't care about all that. I feel sure that in the future I will achieve eternal happiness with him.

Now my heart is shaking as if hit by the coming tsunami waves when I remember my love relationship with him. A sentence that came out of his sweet mouth and said "We broke up because I've never been happy with you since we carved this relationship into a story".

This heart feels like it doesn't beat anymore, the blood flow also stops.

"I know that you're joking." I tried to convince my heart

"I am serious." softly he said.

“What… why and why…? I asked with annoyance and a thousand riots that exist

"There is nothing that I need to explain again for all your questions." He replied with an indifferent look

I can only be silent without a word out of my mouth. This body feels stiff, the soul is paralyzed and the chest is tight. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to support myself with a stick I stepped into the house. The world is so dark with the lights off. The moon and stars no longer decorated the vast sky. The cold night pierced my bones. The bright night was now only able to remain silent in the darkness.

Together with the thick nights that accompany the dark music. The photo held tightly in my hand felt like I wanted to throw it far away without being able to return. My mind also invites thousands of questions about it as I lay down this body.

The next day, woke up from my sleep about my nightmare. I try to live my day with an uncertain heart. The footsteps fell off the ground. My whole body is unable to process food anymore. Everything tastes bitter. The universe is now only black. My footsteps approach a woman in the corner of the room. She is Yuna my best friend. I pour out all my complaints to him.

"Just be patient, maybe he's not your match," Yuna said

"But ... has not everything gone far and needs to be tried," I said in a tight tone

"Everything God has outlined. Rest assured there must be wisdom behind this all. " Yuna said trying to comfort me

I can only be silent in my daydream.

Can I erase all the memories that he has engraved in my mind ...?

Are these eyes able to withstand tears…?

at this time it seems unable to answer all that

A few days later, this heart was raging and broke, when he saw him with another woman. The breeze that afternoon seemed to slap my face to wake me up from all my bench. Tried to smile and say hello, but didn't get the response as expected. He continued to walk like he did not know me while holding the woman's fingers in front of me. The sky fell down on me, describing my heart at that time. I really did not expect, a man who was going to propose to me now turn to another woman.

I was cornered in a dead-end alley. My head felt like it wanted to break after receiving the unexpected treatment by me. It felt like ending this life, maybe I no longer feel the pain that gripped me so much. But it hit me, it really hurts. I believe this was only for a moment. I had to rise from a deep slump, even though the scratches I couldn't heal. The image of him still haunts me every night before my sleep. You cannot blame the love and feelings that exist, even though it must end in thousands of painful sufferings.

I always remember a motivational sentence that came out of him when he was together.

This life is a process,

This life is a choice,

This life is learning,

If you fall to your feet again,

If you lose try again,

If it fails to rise again,

"Do not give up"

Until God says:

"The time to go home has come".

Those words woke me up. I passed the day back with a heart with a thousand feelings, but the image of him always followed my every step and breath. As it turned out, I was unable to forget him and all of his memories. The roots of love that he planted in the past are too strong to creep into every inch of my organs.

The clock ticks show 2 o'clock in the evening. These eyes can not be closed. Submerge again in the endless abyss. Tears flowed freely when I realized that half of my soul had left.