Outside, there are still traces of traces left by the rain. I wiped the window pane to just get rid of the dew covering my bedroom window. I glanced at the clock, it was already six in the afternoon. Today is still a day full of sorrow for us even though it's been a week, but the sadness never wants to release my family from its arms.
Mom knocked on my room, always did. I realized I should be the shield for her to cover her. But I wasn't fully aware yet. It still feels like a dream. Mother then entered without saying anything she hugged me and then cried, I sobbed. Everything is spinning back in my head, and I know those memories are also swirling in Mother's head.
Several years ago when my older brother Arman was still here, this house was always full of laughter. I think he was the child who always put his family first, he always obeyed everything father and mother ordered. Although there was often a difference in understanding between father and bang Arman, Arman always gave in to my father's wishes. I remember well when Dad took us to school every morning. A mother who prepared lunch for me and Arman. Arman was patiently waiting for me, even though he had to be late. It's a simple thing, but now I realize, every little thing has a big meaning. Ah, I really miss my simple family. Arman is the second person I respect after father. The one who motivates me and shows me when I'm wrong. He is my only brother. But that happiness ended 6 years ago when I was 15 years old, Arman was kicked out of the house to pick up his dream. that day I could not forget, the sound of objects being thrown, the glass shattering on the floor accompanied by the screams of Father blaring.
"I never taught you to brazen Arman"
"I'm not impudent, well, I just chose my own way of life" Arman's voice sounded firm and undeniable as if he was not afraid of his father's anger.
"You will still be successful even if you study here. You have to enter medicine. "
"Yes, already," said the mother, crying.
"I want to be a lawyer, yeah. I've been accepted there. "
"I will not pay for you there" I know what my father said was not just words. He is a tough person, he easily gets emotional at things that are not according to his wishes.
"I will look for a scholarship, I also have savings."
"Who do you think your intelligence comes from? You're very clever to brag to me. "
"I will continue to study there well, in two days I will go."
"You rebellious child. Once you leave this house you are no longer my son. "
Father's last sentence was like a thunderbolt that was scary to me. But Arman didn't answer. He just looked to his room. Mother was still crying in the guest chair trying to persuade my father. But I know it's over.
15 minutes later, Arman left the room with all his belongings.
"Mother, eyebrows, I'm leaving."
That's the last sentence I still remember. Mother tried her best to prevent it, but the fruit fell not far from the tree, Bang Arman was as stubborn as a father. My mother and I walked to the door staring at Arman's back, who was getting away from our house. we don't know where he slept that night, we don't know who will let him go to Java the next morning.
Our house is quiet. For months we endured the feeling of being awkward, every night the tears that trickled down from my mother's eyes always made me feel miserable.
Then one year passed, I got news from Arman, I received his letter for the first time. The letter was wrapped in a green envelope, a very beautiful letter in my eyes. I was very happy, even without realizing it my tears flowed freely when reading it. I often told my mother about the news Arman without my father knowing. Mother, of course, was very surprised, you also asked a lot about Arman, especially about his address and contact, but he never told us his address and telephone number even though in every letter I replied I said my longing and a missing mother. Bang Arman said he would call ahead when he was successful later.
Then it didn't feel like Arman had graduated. Even though I only got his photo submissions but that doesn't reduce my pride in him. He managed to become the best graduate. There is already an S.H title behind his name. But my heart is torn at the thought of his graduation without his family. Without the happy hugs of mom and dad. There is a desire in my heart to tell father the good news. I know that my father also misses Arman, even though he has always looked fine after driving Arman away. But I gave up my intention because I was afraid to predict my father's reaction. So far, I didn't even dare to mention the name Arman in front of him.
I asked Arman when he was coming home, I dared to tell him to go home because I knew his father's anger had dampened, I knew that he was also waiting for Arman's arrival like my mother and I did every day. Bang Arman said he would come home with success and his future wife.
One afternoon, about two years after Arman said he was going home, I saw him on TV on a news channel, he stood tall and spoke intelligently there, he represented a well-known official as a lawyer. I called out to the mother who was tidying the room. Just at that time my father entered the house after working in the office, dad saw a glimpse of the TV but then his movement stopped for a few seconds, I watched him quietly, but then he went into the room and argued with my mother who was about to see me. I didn't know what was on my father's mind, whether it was pride, regret, or even longing. It's hard for me to guess. Mother then sat with me, mother was just silent looking at Arman who was getting older, but tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Mother will soon be home Arman," I said to my mother and hugged her.
We are really looking forward to his arrival, let there be a wound in this house. But all have healed themselves.
10 Days Ago. It was 9:30 p.m., the landline was ringing excitedly. I was serious about my job, but I saw Mom and Dad were busy watching TV, then I decided to stand up to pick up the phone, but to my surprise, I heard a voice on the other side. A voice that hasn't touched my eardrums for a long time. Assalamualaikum, the first word he spoke. He asked me how I was, how was my father, and how my mother was. My brain immediately spun on his promise. I just called her name, my chest felt tight holding back tears, I shouted for mother without realizing it.
Mother came to me. I saw mother's eyes sparkle as if I already know who is calling on the other side, maybe this is the bond. Mother spoke while holding her mouth holding my emotions like me, I just stood beside my mother releasing my happy tears. I was even more shocked when my mother called my father and gave the receiver to my father. I couldn't hear what Arman said to my father. But I'm really glad my family is back.
After hanging up my father's phone back in front of the TV I'm still afraid to ask questions. But unexpectedly my father was the first to start telling stories. The story then flowed for hours, although there was still awkwardness in my father's words, Arman would be home in two days. Just like before, he left this house two days before going far to Java. We have spent a long time being able to open up about Arman.
The day we were most waiting for finally arrived, to be precise a week ago. But until the noon call to prayer echoed Arman, he still hadn't arrived home. I tried calling but I always can't get through. My mother and I just thought that maybe Arman had turned off his phone on purpose to save battery, maybe his plane was delayed. The possibilities grew as the hands turned on the wall.
Until three o'clock in the afternoon, my mother and I were still working in the kitchen making all of Arman's favorite foods. Dad may still be busy with his business at work, but he promised to come home early. We really didn't have the possibility of Arman not going home that day. Only the sun that finally passed away led the night to come with the moon of light.
Dad is home, mom and I have also given up on being tired after a day in the kitchen. My father sat in front of the TV, my mother and I sat on the sofa next to my father. We stare at the TV in silence. I don't know where the person we've been waiting for. There have been many question marks in our minds, but in the end, all the presenters on TV answered. All were answered by the news he delivered. Before my brain and my heart had time to digest what happened suddenly the ringing of the telephone echoed throughout the room, my father quickly picked up the phone, my heart was beating fast, I saw that the mother next door was also frozen. Vacuum. The food we made this afternoon just lay there untouched by the owner.
In the morning, Bang Arman's body arrived at this house. Arman has come home, he really came home. I seemed to be competing with my mother. But not with father, father did not cry once. But no words came out of his mouth until Kak Arman was buried. Father really became a quiet person even more quiet than usual. Today is the most terrifying day, even more, terrifying than the day when Arman left. It would be better for him to leave than to have to go home. I just told him to come home to us I just told him to come home to our little family. But he mistakenly thought, he returned to the lap of his creator. Every day his name appeared on TV, the last time I knew there was the name of someone there, someone he wanted to introduce us to. He was very good at keeping his promises to us.
Mother let go of her lap, instantly awakened me from this very long memory. He wiped his tears then smiled.
"Let's take a shower, we pray for your brother together" Mother's hoarse voice broke my heart.
It would be better for him to leave than to have to go home. I just told him to come home to us I just told him to come home to our little family. But he mistakenly thought, he returned to the lap of his creator. Every day his name appeared on TV, the last time I knew there was the name of someone there, someone he wanted to introduce us to. He was very good at keeping his promises to us.