Engraving Dreams In My Destiny

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3 years ago

The night was getting late, the sound of the crickets in the yard sounded so playing as if they were singing a song that could bewitch those who heard it so that they fell asleep soundly and lived in their dreams. The wind that blows also does not want to be outdone by the sound of the crickets, it is so supportive to roll the body in a warm blanket.

While people are lulled by their night dreams but not for a beautiful woman named Fatimah Az Zahra, for several nights she has been unable to sleep, sometimes feeling tired and sleepy often come to her because of her activities studying at the Ulumul Qur'an Islamic boarding school for all day long, but when he lay down on the bed and tried to close his eyes again the shadow of the face appeared and was present as if the image danced beautifully in his mind and kept repeating like that until it looked like a rerun of a story in a soap opera that displays scenes of the characters.

Zahra. That is how people used to call her, her name was beautiful as her person, her face was beautiful, a pious woman who was so strict in maintaining Islamic rules in her life. Zahra comes from a simple family, her parents work as farmers who have to support her three children, but it is from her family that she is able to learn about how life is, how difficult it is to live, how can we survive without deviating at all from the corridors of religion Islam even though we are in an era that is increasingly modern.

The night was so quiet maybe because people were asleep, but that could not persuade his eyes to close at all, she slowly got up from the bed and decided to go to the bathroom and take ablution, "Maybe I better pray and ask for directions. from Allah. " thought Zahra.

A moment later he was standing on his prayer mat wearing a plain white mukena, intending to perform the Tahajjud prayer and ask Allah for guidance on all this. Before praying, he glanced at the clock on the wall hanging beside his bed, "It's already 02:00" he said slowly for fear of waking up his friends who were also in his room.

Zahra was getting lulled into her prayers, verse by verse that she read sounded so beautiful in her ears, knowing that Zahra is a Qari'ah also a hafidzah in her hut and she really understands the meaning of every verse she reads.

When he encountered a verse that explained Allah's promise to enter his faithful servant into heaven, Zahra was delighted and hoped that he would be included in the group of believers. And when he came across a verse from the Al-Qur'an which explained about the hell that was reserved for the unbelievers and hypocrites he was so afraid, he was afraid and shed tears in tears while sobbing while reading the verse. And in his heart, Zahra prayed that he was not included in the class of disbelievers or hypocrites.

Ba'da prayer Zahra stretches his hand up and recites the prayer that is usually read after the Tahajjud prayer, then followed by an outpouring of his heart to his beloved, Allah SWT.

"O Allah ... who is the person who can be a companion in my life, both in joy and in sorrow, when laughing or crying, when happy or sad, and the most important thing is to be my companion in worshiping You, in carrying out the Sunnah of Your Prophet, and for the sake of Expect Your Ridha, O Allah… the person who will become the priest in my family in the future, to become the priest for me and for my children… ”Zahra asked softly in tears.

"I want him to be my soul mate later. I feel that he is the best of the kind among all the men I've ever met. Let me hope for him and hang my hopes on You, O Allah, even if he is not my destiny in this world, then allow me to be with him in the hereafter, allow us both to be together in Your heaven ... "like that is Zahra's holy love, love for the servant of Allah whom he fully surrenders to the All-Knowing heart.

Slowly he felt a drop of warm water gently flowing down his cheeks, again that face appeared in his mind dancing beautifully in his mind. the face of a man who is none other than the ustadz himself, a face that looks so honest, responsible, mature, handsome, and very worthy to be made as a priest in the family with his piety. The face is always covered by most of the santriwati in her hut. And this face is what has been appearing lately and haunts Zahra's mind. It is certain that that person is Ustadz Hafidz, a Cairo Egypt scholar who successfully completed his undergraduate and postgraduate programs there.

Zahra still remembers the last few weeks when Ustadz Hafidz entered his class to teach Al-Qur'an Tafsir, Ustadz Hafidz looked very different in his attitude, especially this was aimed at Zahra himself and not other students, so that Zahra felt that he was one one of the most special women compared to women in this world.

She still remembers Ustadz Hafidz's eyes who accidentally met his gaze, he still remembers when Ustadz Hafidz said "I want to marry a woman who, although only an ordinary santri, will only work as an ordinary teacher but her job is lawful". He still remembers the words of ustadz Hafidz when he taught and stood right in front of him Zahra "O Allah ... this is the person I hope will be my soul mate someday, this time the person is in front of me, I want him to be my match, not someone else. , because he is better than others. " That was what Ustadz Hafidz said, although Ustadz Hafidz did not mention that the woman's name was Zahra, somehow Zahra's feelings always said that the woman in question was her without knowing how Ustadz Hafidz really felt about her.

All the words uttered by ustadz Hafidz have stuck so strongly in his mind and even always ringing in Zahra's ears, so even though he tries to forget them all will appear again, and again the face of Ustadz Hafidz will be pictured in Zahra's mind. O Allah, this is love.

“Astaghfirullah… why am I like this and why do I keep thinking about people who are clearly not lawful for me. Forgive me, Allah I am just an ordinary human being who is so weak without your guidance and grace ... if indeed he is the person you are destined for me then bring our hearts together ... but if he is not the best person for me then keep us away without any mistakes a man who feels pain in his heart "Amen. Zahra said solemnly.

Zahra then lay down on top of the prayer mat she had used earlier, without realizing that her eyes began to close, and finally at dawn she woke up from her sleep. Such is the habit of Zahra which he does when he cannot sleep, namely by performing prayers and finally he falls asleep on his own prayer mat.

Today ustadz Hafidz teaches in his class Zahra and Zahra is so restless and impatient waiting for the arrival of the ustadz as well as the man she really admires and hopes to be her match.

"Asslamu'alaikum ..." said Ustadz Hafidz with such a polite tone of voice, he had time to look at Zahra and at that moment Zahra glanced at Ustadz Hafidz, their eyes met at that moment, but then the two people immediately lowered their faces. "Astagfirullah al 'adzim ..." Zahra immediately uttered istigfar.

During the lesson, Ustadz Hafidz always tried to keep his eyes off Zahra, and so was Zahra. They both know and understand very well about religious law, even though their relationship is between teacher and student, but they feel afraid so they still try to keep their views. because most of the devil tempts humans from our eyes that we never try to control and we control to see the beautiful but forbidden for us and finally when the two eyes have met and looked at each other then the eyes will turn into a very seductive gaze for a servant to carry out immorality. Yes, everything starts with the eye. Naudzubillah ...

Fate seems to say otherwise, what Zahra had hoped for so far does not match the reality. Ustadz Hafidz wants to marry another woman. a woman who was very beautiful, kind, and last but not least, she came from a rich family. a very harmonious couple if the two of them are side by side which makes other people amazed when they see the two of them together.

Then should people who keep their feelings in their hearts kill those feelings, bury them in all hopes, throw away all dreams, and throw dreams that have been engraved in every prayer.

"O Allah ... should it be like this, should I give up everything, is this the answer to all my prayers, is this the answer to all my hopes?" Zahra quietly resignedly.

“Vicious women are for wicked men, and abominable men are for wicked women (also), and good women are for good men and good men. is for good women (too) ... (Qs An-Nur verse 26)

But what about Zahra and ustadz Hafidz, aren't they both good people, isn't Zahra a pious woman and ustadz Hafidz is a pious man, then why can't they be together. Why does fate have to destroy the ark of hope that Zahra has so painstakingly built, which has taken root and springs from her heart?

"All the answers are clear, I was not meant for him and he was not for me ... I do not blame fate, do not have a prejudice against Allah, and I also never blame this feeling, because I believe this is the most beautiful feeling He has ever given me. … ”Said Zahra silently.

It is true friends ... not always what we think is the best of the best will remain and will be the best for us because human choices and judgments are often wrong and even wrong, but Allah's choice and judgment is the best of the best, and everything that is determined by Allah is the best for us as servants who surrender to accept their destiny.

There will be love stories out there, there will be someone who is always waiting for you and expecting you. Someone that Allah has chosen for you ... someone who will faithfully fill the emptiness in you like the moon that faithfully accompanies the night, and the sun that is always faithful to accompany the day, like rain that faithfully accompanies a cloudy sky, like the song of birds that faithfully accompanies nature. And that will be your love story in the future ... someday, the time we don't know when it will come to us, but that time will come ... that time will come. Give everything to Allah.

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3 years ago