The collaboration between dark, night, rain, thunder, cold, wind, and silence made Mother's atmosphere less gravity, the world did not greet, the crickets did not cry, the bats did not come out, the stars were not bright, and the owls were reluctant to appear on the guava tree.
The darkness of the night that envelops the small earth with its black color inspires the heart, to continue to mention God's name as the pouring rain is like a waterfall from the mountains, and a flash of lightning flashes with its voice thundering like an angry natural giant. The moon and night stars could not hold back the anger of nature, so they hid behind the black roof of the earth.
The night wind blows piercing the soul, shaking the body, and making the atmosphere even tenser. The swaying trees also danced in the cold breeze as if to say that he wanted to be hugged with sincere warmth.
Suddenly there was a groaning voice in prayer from a small hut.
"Oh God ... strengthen my heart, hopefully, we can get through all these trials"
The atmosphere of the room was very quiet, plus the lights were not so bright. Make the atmosphere even more serene. The woman immediately rubbed her cheeks which were wet with tears, she slowly walked away from the room.
“Astrid… you haven't slept yet, right? after crying again huh? " asked an old woman
"Not yet Mother ... I was just winking," she replied lying.
Suddenly the old woman approached her.
"Astrid ... you don't deserve to cry for a man like him, I'm not pleased"
“No Mother… Astrid never remembers it again, really Mother. Just only missed Lena ”.
For a moment the middle-aged woman saw a table, there could only be seen glass and a teapot.
"Do you want sahur huh? Sorry, you don't have rice to cook, only boiled cassava, ”guessed Mother
"Yes Mother, it's okay, Alhamdulillah there is still a fortune for sahur". Astrid replied sincerely
"Okay, I must go to sleep first," the old woman said goodbye.
The old woman went to her room, while Astrid was about to eat boiled cassava and water. After sahur, Astrid did not feel like continuing to sleep. She began to open the mushaf and slowly it filled the room. The voice was melodious and hoarse, Astrid began to sob amidst her tadarus. Her memory began to drift to the past, all her sorrows seemed to come back like a movie being played again. The memory disturbed her tadarus concentration.
"O God ... please don't bring that wound again, I want to be happy". She's wail was pitiful.
The more she tried to forget, the clearer the shadow of her past became. Astrid also stopped her tadarus, holding the mushaf tightly in her arms. Without realizing it, this silence took her to the past, when she was married to a man from a noble family. The beginning of a happy marriage, passing the days full of love and intimacy. However, after three months of marriage, the husband's attitude changed. Slowly his true nature began to show, he turned violent and angry. Especially in the early pregnancy of her first child, she was often out of town for various business reasons. Various oblique news began to color his days, plus comments from neighbors and relatives began to heat up the ears. However, Astrid is still loyal and positive thinking if the husband is fine there and is not like the rumors that are circulating.
It didn't feel like her pregnancy had reached the age of nine, there was no news, no money was sent from her husband. Until forcing him to work odd jobs to meet his daily needs. Astrid was so strong with it that she went through the process of giving birth to her first child alone. The suffering was not over, at the age of her marriage in the sixth year, she found that her husband had married a siri with a girl from her mother's tribe. When she asked about the news, her husband was immediately angry like hot lava in a volcanic eruption. Her heart and soul were broken because her husband did not realize his mistake. Suggestions and insults began to color his days again.
"Alan ... I never believed about the slanted news, but now that I see it myself ... is that how you love me?"
"I'm sorry trid .. I made a mistake" Alan's voice pleaded.
Her tears began to break again, the dawn call to prayer began to sound in the midst of the rural fog, there was a serene sounding in the minaret of the roadside mosque. Rooster crowing sounded shouting to each other, indicating a new life was about to begin. She was forced to get up to the back well to take ablution, the morning chill began to pierce the sum-sum. Quickly she drew water and began to perform ablution.
Morning comes with a million of the most beautiful smiles, the sun also brings new enthusiasm to Astrid's life. Suddenly Astrid was startled by the ringing of the telephone in the hall.
"Waalaikum salam, Mom ... Lena miss you" shouted a voice on the other side.
“Lena… is this Lena? " she asked incredulously
"Yes mom, how are you? forgive me ya can only call you mom ". The whining gave an excuse.
"It's okay, dear. Mom is fine, mom also really misses Lena, ”she answered happily
"Mom dad has remarried, I'm very sad because he not as dear to Lena before". The story is compassionate.
Her heart wanted to scream at her daughter's words like that, even a child can understand sadness, why her husband can't. The confusion began to hit, what should he do. There was no way she could take Lena to her husband's house, she didn't have enough money to pay for all of Lena's needs. Lena must stay with her husband so that Lena's education is not enough to reach elementary school.
"Mom, why are you silent?" she asked confused
“Lena, when are the school holidays? I'll pick you up later ".
"Two months from the semester, only after that the holiday," she replied briefly.
"Oh ... ok just wait dear".
The short conversation was able to treat a little of his heart's longing, let her be more patient waiting for she's daughter until the school holidays because it had become an agreement in court first. Astrid gets ready to go to a room, a small business she is doing. She started a business in handicraft accessories and sold them online.
"Astrid… whose call was that?" investigated she's mother.
"Oh ... from Lena" replied Astrid
"How is she, Lena?" asked Mother again.
"Lena is fine Mother, Lena can't come here because it's not school holidays yet"
The spirit began to loosen when the conversation with Lena came back. Her ex-husband had remarried, questions were growing in her head. It had been thirteen years that her husband had not changed, and the loyalty of those thirteen years had not been able to save her marriage. She still remembers when the unknown lady came to the house angry and blamed her. She still remembers very well when her ex-husband divorced her via text message. She can't stop thinking about how someone who really understands religion like her husband can easily drop a divorce via text message.
"Astrid are you crying again?" asked she's mother suspiciously
The longer the tears grew heavier, the more obvious the shaking of her body to withstand the tightness of pain became clearer. This time he really couldn't take it anymore, eventually, the tears spilled too. She's patience and loyalty were in vain, plus she had to part with she's only daughter Lena.
“Never mind Astrid .. don't lament over your past, it's no use. Everything has become a powerful destiny. Mother said giving advice.
"Yes, Mother, Sincere. All these problems actually make me more mature ”. The answer is short.
“I'm is now a mother's widow, maybe that's the best for me now. Rather than me having to live in polygamy by my husband.
"I'm proud of you Astrid".
"Thank you mother, I'm is also proud to be your daughter".
The divorce has already happened, the line of life has led Astrid to become a widow. The problem is like a grain of sand and the journey of she's life is like a weed. Even though it looks beautiful, in fact, there is always a grain of sand that spoils its beauty. Her only happiness now is Lena, Astrid has to stay alive and be excited for Lena and Mother. Starting today, Astrid has buried all the memories of disgrace, her life doesn't mean you have to stop there, a weed has the right to grow high through the sky. The beauty of thatch will not disappear with just a grain of sand, because there is always happiness in every tear.