Always Try and Pray (part 2)

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3 years ago

Almost late in the evening, Rian didn't send any news, I didn't want to disturb him, I didn't want him to be bothered. However, my feelings are a little worried. and I tried to ward off my worries.

Until not long after, my friend who was also my neighbor stopped by the house.

"Doesn't he usually come here at night?" I thought.

"La, have you heard how?" he asked hastily.

"What news,?" I asked.

"So you haven't got any news yet, Rian had an accident" like a hit on my head.

"Which Rian? You are kidding…." I tried to calm down, I hope the other Rian meant, even though I know there are no friends from old my school.

"This afternoon, when he came home from the painting exhibition, he reportedly said. when he came home he drove. You know the way there are many deep holes. during a turn, the car got into a hole and fell backward. and… .. ”my neighbor continued, I didn't want to know what happened when my neighbor told me. how did Rian experience it all? like the prickling of my heart. "Unfortunately from that turn there was a truck that went fast and received its body," he said again. deg. now my heart is like a thousand arrows. I fell down on the fence. as if there was a big rock that hit my head. pain, lightheadedness. I don't know what it's like.

"Are you okay, La? Come on, we have to hurry to Rian's house now, his body will be buried tonight. " I see it getting farther. and becomes a point, then that point disappears. I was on the fence for a while. became a little dazed.

when I realized I immediately took the cellphone, tried to call Rian's cellphone. not active. I tried texting.

"I heard you had an accident? it's a lie, right? "

"Please reply to my SMS. don't make me think nonsense. "

"You promise you won't leave me. don't make me torture like this! ”


I sent four messages consecutively to Rian. I want to go to his house. I want to convince my heart that it is not my Rian that my neighbor means. but I'm afraid, I'm afraid it's all real. I'm afraid it's not a lie.

I fell asleep in the living room. until the next day, I got a call. this time what made me believe it was Rian's number and it was her mother who called. yeah, her mother. His mother said that Rian had bleeding in the brain, he had an accident when he came home from the exhibition yesterday. her mother asked me to come home to meet her.

I woke up slowly like I didn't have the strength. I took a shower while crying. morning prayers by crying. at that time, luckily I was at home alone my mom visited my sister at the rehab center. I stayed in the room long enough. I looked at Rian's texts before leaving for his house. this is impossible, I told myself. there was no way he could leave this soon.

But I just stepped into his house which was a little far. I decided to go on foot. upon arrival. so crowded. I know the faces. That woman, whom Rian once had an estimate of. and I heard that before going out with me, Rian hoped with that woman, but that woman refused. I don't want to know the reason. And now he looks like he's very sorry on his face.

As for myself, I didn't shed a single tear. When I entered his house. His mother immediately hugged me. He stroked my hair saying patiently, be patient, be patient. over and over again. somehow I even responded with a bitter smile. even though I know her mother lost more than me.

her mother told her that Rian's permission was very far from her imagination. Rian says go to a prominent art exhibition in town. turns out to be outside the city. his mother did not expect. her mother also said that Rian is one of her favorite children. which he is most proud of. I listened to her mother's narrative with the tears flowing.

almost an hour i was there. more and more people were arriving. I also can't linger here. My presence will only make his mother even sadder. I don't want to add to her sadness by staying here. When I wanted to leave, the two friends of Rian who I really knew came over to me.

“Lia, I'm sorry. I should have driven at that time. even though he said a little sleepy. " he stammered and so softly, for he was filled with a deep sense of remorse and fear too. Then, he took a white glass. it turned out that it was a mug with a picture of a heart that had no part and had my name written on it.

“This should be Rian's gift to you. After seeing the exhibition, Rian invited us to buy this mug at one of the exhibition stands at that time. " she hands over the mug.

Unfortunately, I feel sick seeing their faces, because of their explanation earlier. I lowered my head which started to feel heavy. I took the mug. Then I broke the mug.

"Lia, why did it solve it? This… This is from Rian. ” he said as he picked up the mug that i broke

“You go. It shouldn't be Rian who was lying there. but you! don't ever be seen in front of me again. I'm sick of seeing your faces! you should have understood at that time. and maybe now Rian can still be with me! You should be aware, if he said he was sleepy, maybe this wouldn't have happened! you…. You… .. ”I got angry with them. There are also many people who saw me. Instantly I ran, for fear these tears continued to flow in front of Rian's body. I run as fast as I can. I really had no sense at that time.

At home, the two people had already arrived waiting for me in front of the house. I just passed them as if they did not see them both. I'm really fed up. one of them held my arm. try to apologize to me again. I seemed heartless at that time. I don't care about them. because I was angry and left indifferent to the presence of their good intentions. I still entered the house and slammed the door.

I immediately headed to the room. so dark as a night without the moon and stars. Trying to dare me to try to smile in my head feels very heavy because it holds back tears. I don't want to accompany him to the grave. I am scared. if this heart is not strong I realized that this heart is so weak.

oh my god, you gave me such a great trial. until now I know. Only to You should I offer this compassion completely. And I realized, they are the most beautiful. there will always be in my little prayers after prayer. God is not unfair, but HE understands so much that it gave me a test that shook my heart for years to come to understand again. Don't ever regret it and make you stop at one point like I was afraid. I remembered Rian's last message for me. As if he already knew that he would go ahead of me and tell me to always be strong and always remember the Creator. Yes, just remember him who goes with sincerity and prayer in every time I pray to him. And take the time to make the people around you happy right now. Time is not created to be repeated.


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3 years ago