A Child's Honest Expression

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A Short story of rising kid's:

Our eldest son, named Dika, sat in the 4th grade at the elementary school. At that time I really had to deal with the guardian class and the principal. The reason is that according to the observations of the class teacher and the principal, Dika who is sitting in the superior class, the place where the children perform, the time is actually recorded as a troubled child.

When I asked what Dika's problem was, the teacher and the principal asked exactly what was going on at home so that the children were always depressed and spent a lot of time studying in class just to daydream. His performance is declining over time.

Gently I asked Dika: "What do you want?" Dika just shook her head. "What do you want mom to be like?" ask me. "It's normal" Dika replied shortly.

Several times I discussed with the class teacher and the principal to find a solution, but for so long there has been no progress. Finally, we agreed to ask for the help of a psychologist. One morning, with the permission of the principal, Dika left the school to undergo an IQ test.

Without any preparation, Dika solved question after question in minutes. Moments later, the Psychologist who appeared unassuming but complete hospitality immediately announced the results of the test.

My child's average intelligence score reaches 147 (Very Intelligent) scores for aspects of spatial ability, abstraction, language, definite science, reasoning, accuracy, and speed range from 140 to 160.

But there is one irony, namely the score for his verbal ability is not more than 115 (Smart Average). The striking differences in the 2 different levels of intelligence that psychologists consider, need to be further deepened. Therefore the psychologist politely advised me to take Dika back to the place again. According to him, Dika needs to undergo a personality test.

In pain, I took the opportunity to take Dika back to take a series of personality tests. Through interviews and written tests conducted, the psychologist has drawn a red thread that he considers to be one or several factors that hinder Dika's verbal ability.

At least I can read Dika's little heart scream. An honest answer from Dika's deepest heart made me look at myself, seeing the face of a mother who was still far from ideal.

When the psychologist wrote the question "I want my mother: ...." Dika also replied: "let me play as I please, just for a moment". With some in-depth questions, it was revealed that all this time I gave Dika the opportunity to play freely.

The time I do is a lot of educational games so I need to schedule when to draw when playing puzzles when playing basketball when to read storybooks when playing games on the computer, and so on.

The time I did was a good decision and for the sake of her future, Dika had to enjoy the games evenly between her free time which was indeed a little left as a large amount was spent for school and various courses outside of school.

I always use Dika's schedule of activities which is so complicated. However, Dika's request is simple: he is given the freedom to play as he pleases, to love his childhood.

When the psychologist handed over a piece of paper that read "I want my father ..." Dika also answered with a messy sentence but roughly meant "I want my father to do anything like he did something" Through some in-depth questions, it was revealed that Dika did not want to be taught or told, moreover ordered to do this and that.

He just wanted to see his father do anything every day, like what Dika was ordered to do. He wants his father to get up early and make his own bed, eat and drink without having to be served by others, watch enough TV, tidy up the newspapers he has read, and sleep on time. Simple indeed, but such things are only difficult for parents to do.

When a psychologist asks the question "I want my mother not ..." Then Dika answers "Think of me as myself" In many things I do in life that I like to work hard, disciplined, frugal, persistent to achieve something I want it is an attitude that best and wisest.

I almost want Dika exactly like myself. I and many other parents often want to make a child as a photocopy of ourselves or others think the child is an adult in the form of a small sachet.

When the psychologist asked the question "I want my father not: .." He replied, "Do not blame me in front of others. Do not say that the small mistakes I make are sins".

Unbeknownst to them, parents often demand that the child always behave and act rightly, until he or she barely gives a chance to make a mistake. If the parent thinks that every mistake is a sin that must be rewarded with punishment, then the child will choose to lie and will not want to admit the mistake he has made honestly.

New difficulties will arise because parents do not know what mistakes the child has made, so they do not know what actions we should take to prevent or stop them.

I became aware that sometimes children need to be given the opportunity to make mistakes, and then they can learn from their mistakes. The consequences of his wrong attitudes and actions can sometimes be a valuable lesson so that in the future does not make similar mistakes.

When the psychologist wrote, "I want my mother to talk about ....." Dika also replied "Talking about things that are important only". I was quite surprised because at that time I actually used a very narrow opportunity, when I returned from the office to discuss things that I think are important, such as asking about lessons and homework given by the teacher. for my son.

With Dika's innocent and honest answer, I was reminded that intelligence is no more important than wisdom and knowledge of God. The teaching of love is no less important than science. On the question "I want my father to talk about .....", Dika also wrote, "I want my father to talk about his mistakes. I want my father not to always feel right, the greatest and never make mistakes. I want my father to admit his mistakes and apologize to me ".

Indeed, in many ways, parents do right but as human beings, parents do not escape from mistakes. Dika's desire is actually simple, that is, she wants her parents to be sporty, to admit her mistakes, and if necessary to apologize for her mistakes, such as what her parents taught her.

When the psychologist put the inscription "I want my mother every day ....." Dika thought for a moment, then wrote the questioner smoothly "I want my mother to kiss and hug me tightly as she kissed and hugged my sister" Indeed sometimes I think that Dika as high as I am no longer worthy of being hugged, let alone kissed. It turns out I was wrong, a warm hug and a loving kiss of a mother are still needed so that her day feels more beautiful.

At the time I did not realize that parental treatment of their children by their children was often interpreted as unfair or partial.

A piece of paper containing the question "I want my father every day ...." Dika wrote a word right above the dots with one word: "smile" Simple indeed, but often a father feels the need to hold back his smile in order to maintain his authority. In fact, the sincere smile of a father will not in the least diminish his authority, but it can add sympathy and energy for children in doing everything he sees from his father every day.

When the psychologist gave me a paper that read "I want my mother to call me ...." She also wrote "I want my mother to call me by a good name" I was shocked! Indeed, before he was born, we had chosen the most beautiful and meaningful name, Judika Ekaristi Kurniawan.

But unfortunately, without realizing it, I always call him Nang. Nang in Javanese is taken from the word "Lanang" which means male. When the psychologist put up a post that read "I want my father to call me .." Dika only wrote 2 words, namely "Original Name".

So far, my husband has called Dika "Paijo" because every day Dika speaks in Indonesian or Sundanese with a Javanese accent. "Exactly Paijo, a vegetable grower around," said my husband. For Dika's innocent and honest answers, I was embarrassed because all this time I was working in an institution that defends and fights for children's rights.

To many people, I campaign for the importance of respecting the rights of children in accordance with the Convention on the Rights of the Child. To the public I share a poster that reads "To Respect Child Rights is an Obligation, not a Choice" a call reminding that "Respecting Children's Rights is an Obligation, not an Option". Unbeknownst to me, I have violated my child's rights by calling him disrespectful and disrespectful.

In the silence of the child, in the innocent child's smile, and in the child's behavior that makes parents sometimes proud and also sometimes irritated, it turns out that there are many Unspoken Messages. If all fathers love their children, then no child will be disappointed or angry with their father.

Children should be taught to respect their father and mother, but parents should not arouse anger in the hearts of their children. Parents should educate their children in good teaching and counsel.

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I was somewhat amazed by the answers of the kid. By her intelligence, her answers were simple, yet striking but sometimes parents don't give notice to it. We thought we are doing the right thing but on the contrary, we don't. I think I might adapt the questions of the psychologist and try it on my kids. There are a lot of things we need to learn from children. Nice one.

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