The real story of guidance
When my wife gave birth to our first child, I was no more than 30 years old. I still remember that night.
As usual, I spent the whole night outside with my friends. Spent the whole night talking, chatting and making fun of people. I was the kind of person who could make people laugh. I used to make fun of others, make jokes, and my friends just laughed when they saw this.
That night I realized I could make them laugh a lot. I had an amazing ability to imitate people. I could tease him by imitating someone's voice.
No one, not even my friends, was spared from my jokes.
Some of them were avoiding me to avoid my jokes.
I can still remember that night I joked with a blind beggar who was begging on the side of the market street. That was very sad! When he was coming in the dark, I put my feet in front of him. He fell to the ground and turned his head to see who had thrown him to the ground. But he could not say anything.
.
I returned home, as late as every day, and saw that my wife was still waiting for me.
His condition was very bad. He asked in a trembling voice, - 'Rashed, where have you been all this time?'
- 'Where will I stay? On Mars? ' - I replied sarcastically - 'Of course I was with friends.'
He looked tired. He said in a tearful voice, - 'Rashed, I am very tired. I think our child is going to come to earth in a little while. '
As soon as he said this, a tear rolled down his eyes and into his chest.
I realized then, I was ignoring him. I should have taken care of her, at least as long as she was pregnant.
It's not fair for me to waste these days outside. I quickly took him to the hospital. He was taken to the delivery room. She was going through terrible labor pains.
I was anxiously awaiting the birth of our child. But my wife's delivery was difficult.
I waited until I was tired. I went home with my phone number to the nurse on duty at the hospital serving my wife, so that they could give me the good news on the phone. An hour later, they called to greet me with the birth of my son Salem. I rushed to the hospital. Whenever the hospital authorities saw me, they asked me to see the doctor on duty at my wife's delivery.
I shouted, 'What doctor? I want to see my son now. '
They said, 'Please see a doctor first.'
I went to the doctor. He told me about my wife's horrible delivery.
And said to be grateful to Allah.
Then he said, - 'Your child has a problem with his eyes. Probably he will never see.'
I somehow managed to hold back the tears and lower my head. I remembered the blind beggar whom I had thrown in the market to make others laugh.
Subahan-Allah! You get what you pay for.
I couldn't think what to say then. Suddenly I remembered my wife and newborn child. Thanking the doctor for his kindness, I went to see my wife and child.
I did not see my wife depressed at all. He had faith in God. She was satisfied.
He used to say to me, 'Don't make fun of people.'
He kept telling me this. I would not listen.
.
We drove home from the hospital with our son Salem.
In fact, I was indifferent to Salem. I thought Salem was not in our family. He was not one of us, like that.
When she was crying loudly, I would go to another room to sleep.
But my wife took good care of him. I loved him a lot.
In my case, I didn't hate him. But it is also true that I could not live well with him.
Salem is slowly growing up. He is trying to crawl. When he was one year old, he was trying to walk. Then we noticed that he was actually disabled.
I then felt him burden me.
.
After Salem, my wife gave birth to two more children. Omar and Khaled.
Years went by. Salem was growing up. Umar and Khaled too. I didn't like being at home. I used to spend most of my time outside with friends.
My wife never gave up hope. He always prayed for my guidance. He was never angry with my behavior. But he was very upset when he saw that I was neglecting my son Salem and caressing the other two. Salem was growing up and so was my anxiety.
When my wife asked him to enroll her in a good school for the disabled, I did not object.
I don't understand how many years have passed. I had the same days as before.
Eat-work-chat-sleep. That's it.
One Friday. I woke up at eleven o'clock in the afternoon. By the way, I woke up much earlier that day than every day. Because, I had an invitation in one place. I was going to go out wearing clothes and perfume.
Whenever I passed our bedroom, I saw Salem crying alone.
This is the first time I have seen her cry with her own eyes since she was born. Ten years have passed, but so far I have not paid any attention to him. This time I wanted to ignore him, but I couldn't.
I heard her crying and calling her mother.
I went to him for the first time and asked, 'Salem, why are you crying?'
She stopped crying as soon as she heard my voice. Getting me so close to her, she grabbed her little hands and tried to feel me. She still didn't understand what was happening to her.
I noticed he was walking away from me. As if he wanted to say to me in disgust, - 'Do you remember me so long? Where have you been these ten years? '
I followed him. I saw that he went to his room.
At first she didn't want to tell me the reason for her crying. I started talking to her calmly. Then she told me the reason for her crying. When she told me why she was crying, I listened and shivered.
Can you tell me the reason?
His younger brother Umar, who used to take him to the mosque every day, has not yet come to pick him up.
So he was shouting at Umar and his mother. But he was crying when he saw that no one was responding.
I sat down at Salem's feet. I saw that tears were still flowing from Salem's eyes.
I couldn't stand his words anymore. I wiped his tears with my hand and said, 'Is that why you were crying, Salem?'
- 'Yes' - he said.
I forgot about my friends, I forgot about the invitation.
I said, 'Salem, don't cry. Do you know who is taking you to the mosque today?'
Salem said, "Umar will take it. But he is always late."
- 'No, Salem. Today I will take you to the mosque .'- I said.
Salem was very surprised. She couldn't believe it at all. She thought I was joking with her. She started crying again.
I wiped her tears with my hand, and put my hand on hers. I tried to take her to the mosque in my car, but she objected. She said, "The mosque is very close. Take me away."
.
I don't remember the last time I entered the mosque. But for the first time in my life I felt fear and remorse for the sin I had committed.
The whole mosque was full of worshipers. But still I saw that there was an empty space for Salem in the front row. We listened to the Friday sermon together. Salem was going to do ruku-sijdah after me, but in reality, it seemed, I was doing ruku-sijdah after him.
After the prayer he asked me to bring a Qur'an. I was surprised. He is blind. How will he recite the Qur'an?
I often tried to refuse his request, but then it was not possible for me to do anything that might hurt his feelings. I brought him a Qur'an. He told me to open Surah Al-Kahf of the Qur'an. I turned the pages of the Qur'an and looked at the table of contents to look for Surah Al-Kahf.
He took the Qur'an from my hand. He held it in front of him and began to recite Surah Al-Kahf.
O Allah! He memorized the entire Surah Al-Kahf.
I was ashamed of myself. I also took a Qur'an in my hand. Then my whole body was shaking. I am reciting the Qur'an. I kept asking God for forgiveness and saying, 'O God! Show me the way to Siratul Mustakim. '
I couldn't stay like this anymore. I immediately started crying like a baby.
There were still some worshipers who were performing circumcision. I was embarrassed. So I somehow wanted to suppress my tears. My suppressed tears were prolonged and my body was trembling. I then noticed a small hand touching my face and wiping away my tears. It was my son Salem. I hugged him. I said, 'Salem, you are not blind. I am blind, I have fallen into the company of the wicked companions who are taking me to the gates of hell.'
We went home. By then my wife was worried about Salem. But his anxiety turned to joy when he found out that I had performed Jumu'ah with Salem.
Since that day, I have not missed a single prayer. I left my bad friends and prayed regularly in the mosque and befriended some such people.
As I mingled with them, I began to feel the taste of faith. From them I learned something that made me think about the next world, not this world.
I never missed a religious discourse. Often I would recite the whole Qur'an, often within a month.
I always remembered Allah. I thought that He would surely forgive my past sins. I turned my attention to my family. The line of fear that could always be seen in my wife's eyes is no more. A little smile was always on my son Salem's face. Anyone who saw his smile would realize that he had probably achieved everything in the world. I thanked Allah for this special mercy.
.
One day my faithful friends planned to go some distance to invite people to faith. I was hesitant about whether to go or not. I was apologizing and consulting my wife about this.
I thought he would forbid me to go. But the opposite happened. She was glad to hear that, and encouraged me to go too, because she had never seen me consult with her before.
I went to Salem, and told him that I had to go out for a few days.
He stretched out his arms towards me with tears in his eyes.
I was often out for about three and a half months. Whenever I had the chance, I would talk to my wife and children on the phone.
I missed them a lot. Especially to Salem. I was anxious to hear her voice but I talked to everyone after I left, but I didn't just talk to her.
Whenever I called home, he was either at school or at the mosque. Whenever I would tell my wife how much I missed Salem, she would smile with joy and pride, only the last time I spoke on the phone without service. His voice changed. I said, - 'Give my greetings to Salem.'
He just said, - 'InshaAllah! Then he went silent. '
I came home. I knocked on the door. I thought that Salem would open the door for me. But to my surprise, Khaled opened the door who was not more than four years old.
When he called me 'Baba Baba', I took him in my arms. I don't know why, ever since I entered the house, a fear has been working in my mind.
I sought God's help from Satan's persuasion. I went to my wife. She looked different. It's as if he's pretending to be good.
I said to him, 'What happened to you?'
- 'Nothing.' - He replied.
Suddenly, I remembered Salem. I said, - 'Where is Salem?'
He said nothing. He lowered his head. Tears welled up in his eyes.
I started crying. I shouted, 'Salem, where is Salem?'
Then I saw my four year old son Khaled saying like him, - 'Babba! Talem Dannate Tale Gethe Allah Te. '
My wife couldn't stand it. He fell to the floor and quickly left the room.
I later found out that Salem had a fever two weeks after I left. My wife took him to the hospital. But he did not recover. He went to meet God due to fever.
