Dependence is my life

Dependence is my life

With great difficulty, I have given a name to the two-room house on this side of the garden house in which I have had the good fortune to draw the tail of my bachelor's life. There are many reasons for naming a border. This house is the last house of the garden house. Behind it is the picturesque forest of Bhabanipur. Another reason is that the house just behind the house is surrounded by barbed wire. What a surprise! Why draw the border in this Gazipur city full of crores of people? Is there any no man's land here?

Of course there are more problems. Every day a police patrol, like a border guard. The problem doesn't end there, people go to faraway Tetulia in the hope of seeing Kanchenjunga at the beginning of winter. People are very happy to see Kanchenjunga in the reflected light of the sun from a distance. Can't be caught, can't be touched, can't be approached, just looking at it from a distance is very happy. As a nation, we are just as happy. Here I am waiting for something like that.

The house I was talking about has a balcony facing the window. Even in such a harsh environment, I named her Shanti Balkuni. Although I did not intend to market the name, I used arrowheads to display my creativity to other members of the household. I have also given the name in the permanent marker below, 'Peace Balcony'. Not only this, with the help of fire you can do welding. ‘Prohibition of looking without permission’!

Let's unravel the problems one by one. A balcony of the house surrounded by barbed wire stopped me. I have made the eyes natural binoculars. Every morning I go downstairs for no reason. I stand at the head of the alley. The peace I spoke of on the balcony, peace descends from that house at seven in the morning, the peace of the morning paradise. The unauthorized policeman is his father. His father's idea was that all the boys in the country would run away with his money and property. He has reached the highest peak of caution. What surprised me even more was the day I found out it was college peace. His SSC exam is ahead. Besides, I don't need what I've learned. What if Nivedita is written in the school batch? I named it peace.

It is worthwhile to name this side of the garden house Border, when Shanti was standing alone in the alley. After a long journey to Tetulia, many people do not get to see the desired Kanchenjunga because of the weather. Only those who see it are lucky in the world. After a lot of perseverance, the one I see today alone was my long-term pursuit. But I promise, I will never compare him with the Himalayas! Those who have listed the Seven Wonders of the World have never seen this peace. If you look, the place that is currently number seven could not be in this list. If this peace list is number one, number seven will be the current eight, understand?

Geometry less means that Sir hit me, if he had made Nivedita stand in front of me, I would have understood the angle of ninety degrees by looking at Nivedita's nose. However, these right angles are used to denote angles! When I was hesitant about the size of the brush in fine arts and crafts, Nivedita's fingers were not seen. Whenever I saw it, I would memorize it, the smallest brush, Nivedita's little finger.

Whatever happened happened. I walked around Nivedita like a coward and Nivedita called a rickshaw in the blink of an eye. After regaining consciousness, I saw Nivedita's rickshaw disappearing into the fog. Usain Bolt is running with all his strength. I have no courage or right to stop the rickshaw by calling from behind. I ran a lot, when I stood in front of his rickshaw, I was looking for water like a thirsty crow, it seems he understood. He turned his head from the rickshaw and looked back. He smiled softly, raised his hand, raised the water bottle and asked ..

- Are you panting so much while running?

I drank and drank all the water in the bottle. If there is no history of drinking water and listening to the bushes, it is happening today.

-Yes, I drank a little bottle of water and heard Nivedita's bush.

- What are you doing? What will I eat if I drink all the water?

Nivedita's forehead wrinkled. I was a little scared, embarrassed. I bowed my head in shame and said in a thin tone ..

-Sorry.

-Yes! My bottle will be filled in your room!

- Actually very thirsty ..

Nivedita said nothing more. Just then he got out of the rickshaw and paid the rickshaw fare. Just then he got into the rickshaw. Losing to instability. The question is, are you coming down here? But before doing so, he got on the rickshaw again. Sitting on the right side, he gestured to the left side and invited me to the rickshaw. For a moment everything seemed like a dream to me.

- I thought I'd get off the rickshaw and walk and buy water!

-Then? Woke up again?

-But no! You have committed a great crime, so the punishment is great!

- What kind of punishment?

- Go a long way and then buy water!

- I have no problem buying water, but the problem has become one ..

-What's the problem again?

- Actually, I just went out for a walk, I didn't bring my wallet!

- I don't like lies at all.

- Believe me, I'm telling you the truth, you can check it out.

- I said a second time. I don't like liars.

That's why people don't fall in love by looking at their appearance. He who sees the frozen ice by the window does not believe. I fell silent. On the other hand, I am sitting in the rickshaw feeling bored. Suddenly Nivedita asked in a tone ..

- Went out for a walk? Really?

If this is the case! The fact that I was lying was not in my head. Even if I had, I would have told Nivedita that too. The thing is, Nivedita knows about me. I didn't know what to do. The inside of my chest is shaking more than the rickshaw.

- Do you go out for a walk every day? Good thing! So why did you run here today? Walking speed increased?

I know you can't say anything. Hey hey don't get embarrassed. Men do not get to be ashamed of men! Mama put it in front.

Nivedita's words ended. The rickshaw also stopped. I stopped quite a while ago.

- There is 455 rupees.

- What do I do?

- I gave you a loan. Bought water.

- Does it cost so much money to buy water? 15 rupees is enough!

-No politeness, no courtesy, chh chh You will leave a girl in the morning just by buying water? No need for breakfast?

A girl kept me on her palm and danced like this for a long time. And I'm dancing like a real dancer. I feel good, she doesn't know how to dance or float. But it feels good.

That multiplies the intensity of the midday sun many times over. One such afternoon I was standing in front of a girls' school. Feeling we have 'Run out of gas' emotionally. As a child, I knew that talented boys stood in front of the girls' school. Everything can be done if you fall in love. You also have to be talented. Maybe love makes us talented.

I have come to pay the 455 rupees given by Nivedita. The flower garden that had developed in my mind during the first day's conversation was a marble one day. I don't even know how much hope the rickshaw ride and conversation has given me one day. According to the date given that day, I went to return Nivedita's money today. One by one the girls are coming out, I don't see Nivedita. The school premises also became empty. Counting the waiting hours, I am releasing cigarette smoke in the air like a thief. Nivedita does not know! Luckily, Nivedita also came. About half an hour later, I too am standing as a saint. He put his hand on his forehead and ran and said ..

- I forgot that day, we have a lab today. If there is a lab, it is half an hour late. I hurt you, damn it!

- Nothing, I like to wait.

-Wow! You can flirt great.

- Take this money, 450 ..

- Where's the other five? You see, I am very serious about settling accounts. You pay what you borrow.

- Actually, there was a rent, but when I went to buy cigarettes, I paid the five rupees without getting the rent. No problem, take this ten rupees, I lent you the remaining five rupees.

Nivedita should be angry but not angry.

"Come," he said, moving forward.

As commanded, I followed him in my mind.

Dad went to aunty's house today. I knew that day my father would not come today, so I gave you this date.

- Is he too rude? Don't leave you alone?

- Leave, after marriage. I mean, what else does Dad say?

-Wow! That's good. It is better to keep it a little tight.

-Huh! Otherwise you will become as stupid as you. Do you see the girl through the window?

- I see the sky, I do not see the girl!

- Your window curtain is ugly, can't you put it in the laundry?

- The bachelor screen, that's it!

The tinkling sounded in my mind. How does Nivedita's eyes go to my window screen? Does he see me too? No! Don't look at me. I have a problem with my own thinking. Maybe the eyes ever fell.

- I have given you a name for your house, Nivedita was saying with a smile, her cheeks turned red with the veil of Velpuri.

Surprised, I asked, what is the name?

- No, no, if you say that, you will kill me, he said shaking his hand.

- Why do you do so much research on our home? I asked with a smile. Fear is working inside.

- Why do you? Dedicated to the counter question!

- Where did I do it? This time I was shocked.

- I don't like lies! Let’s say you get embarrassed, so don’t insist.

I went silent for the purpose of avoiding. Jhalamuri at the end of Velpuri, Kulfi at the end. Gune Gune spent 95 rupees. The rickshaw called Mauna to go. Until then, I am playing the role of a silent spectator. Responding to the invitation, I am sitting in the rickshaw, a little surprised, very worried. Does he love me

-I'm under a lot of pressure, you know? Dad doesn't want to be left alone. You said that a girl in class ten does not have the ability to understand her own good and bad?

- That's it. Fathers must be worried about their daughters.

-So that's all? Where is the date, they don't have it. He didn't tell you, they are my friends. Pastfriend. Understand Pastfriend?

-Uhh!

-Past friend is past friend. They go to see movies, go here and there after school and I? Why did they call me friend? Am I going with them? This is also a problem, father!

- Problems with girls?

-No. I have been with them since class one. But whenever my father saw that they were in love, he forbade me to go out with them.

- I don't really understand.

It doesn't feel so good. And these pretames? Hahaha! I'm not interested in that at all. I can't explain this to my father. But no! My father will not understand, my father thinks I can be influenced by them, I can fall in love with a boy, like my older sister did ..

Nivedita seems to have been known for ages. The way he is talking one after the other, as if I am someone he is very trustworthy. I got happiness in it, I am also suffering because he is not interested in love. I'm silent. Nivedita is also silent now.

Mauna Yaqub, Kitab Ali Plaza walked for an hour and bought what I know. It's time to go home. The story of Nivedita continues to be told on the way back home. The wheel of the rickshaw is turning at its own speed. But it seems very fast, very! There was a pause. Over time, Budd felt helpless. Why is it so painful to return to earth from heaven?

Thanks to Nivedita's father, that's why he gave me the freedom to use at least one phone in such a tight security crowd. And also gratitude to the era, for the thing called Facebook. If there was nothing like that, how could I talk to Nivedita? But the danger is elsewhere. Can't find the word, badd difficult. I want to see him if I can't find the words. By showing the reminder of the upset, the father pleads with the rules. Didn't give today. The question was .. -Tomorrow afternoon? I jumped up.

If there is disinterest in love. I am against hiding my thoughts. I will tell Nivedita everything in my mind. I will tell a peace story and I will tell you more about sitting at the window like a pigeon. Maybe the devotion will fly away, or the wings will match. I will take refuge in that wing, I will make Nivedita a pigeon and feed her in the hut of my mind I will mourn the happiness of two pigeons. Bakum, Bakum ...

Winter afternoon. After a few buildings in the fog, nothing can be seen. Birds came and went in the sky for a while. Lots of birds, lots of lots ..

"Sahena yatna dibas o ganiya ganiya birale,

I am sitting at night just to get the way

Friend, don't come. "

-I'm here!

Nivedita frowned ..

-You mean?

-Answer, your words.

- That's not about me, it's about the song. The song is not mine, it is Rabindranath's.

- Bua does not come to your balcony nowadays?

- Gone, the screen could turn blue.

- Wasn't there a sketch board on the right before?

- I broke it in anger.

- But what to draw?

- In your eyelids. Why keep the table tidy?

- How do you know?

-It can be seen standing in the middle of the verandah.

- See so much?

- The eyes go away. Don't you see Thinking?

- Hiding!

-Hidden profit?

-I'm not losing!

-Would you understand?

-Possibility remains. There is no power to lose.

- Home is different. Dad went out for an hour, so let's see.

- That's why I'm not saying.

- Or do you have the courage to say? I think so.

-Every lover is brave. Do you know what happens when an ordinary boy falls in love?

-What's up?

-Violent, fearless, shameless, brazen, impatient, brave!

-Mixed Why?

-When he loves, doesn't fall in love, he is violent to get. Faster than all the creatures on earth! If you don't talk, if you don't see, you lose patience. I keep thinking, when will I see? He became very brave to keep his girlfriend in his arms. Shameless is the lover if he hurts, and shameless is when he gets close to love with great emotion, deep amanisha, darkness or full moon. That pigeon touches the palm of the hand or ...

-Thak! And no, keep quiet.

- Sing again?

-Rabindra? La la la ...Day goes by, night goes by, I sit, alas, there is no ball in my body, no sleep in my eyes ...

- Too much reading pressure?

-Huh! Falling in love

Azan is being given in the nearby mosques. Nivedita did not spend any more time. He took me down from the roof. I left thinking that the afternoon spent on his roof would be the best afternoon of my life. Nivedita looked embarrassed. I can't see mine. Chest tremors are not seen. The sound of incense can be heard, even though I didn't know it, it seems that Nivedita knew. Nivedita pushed the corner of the stairs to her chest. How long? One second? Two seconds? But it seemed to me a century-old feeling then. Still I am dissatisfied, Nivedita keep listening to my chest for a while more. Let the inner words break, let the story tell you. Talk to us. Nivedita heard all? Purposeful or something to do? Why is this staircase so dark?

The storm inside the chest increased at the moment. Something touched my forehead, Nivedita's lips. I trembled terribly. More storms! Why is there a storm on the lips? I can't stand Nivedita. I can't. Nivedita left. He left me alone and left. Ran away, a very hot breath before leaving. Touching my lips is just a sentence, 'Don't leave me' and I don't remember anything else. The storm is not stopping.

Years passed. The love that started in the trembling of the chest, that love was taking me to a new world. I was getting lost. How many quarrels did not happen in one year! How? I don't have the courage to fight in a fight that is threatening. Is it possible not to talk to him? Gone are the years of meeting Nivedita in secret. Now he is good at cheating. He is keeping me at home. Not just holding on, holding on. The joy of a year is floating in his eyes. How many memories have accumulated in this one year! The only witnesses to that are the urban roads, the lampposts. Naturally my first words are, how did you come? What did you say at home? Nivedita smiles. Do I dare to flee the world for you, and to deceive my clever father?

I have heard that a lover is brave when he falls in love. Rupavati's lover also has a mine of courage in her chest, I am learning by watching Nivedita. Nivedita is eating ice cream in the corner of the gorgeous restaurant. But I know, a lot of fear in his mind. Fear of knowing at home, fear of losing me. Can't even go into hiding. Not as it is now. One day there was trouble at home, get away from me, his eyes twitched when he heard my sad words. He hid again.

-How long? I asked Nivedita.

- Two and a half hours, I said exam in coaching.

- Didn't want to come?

-Of course! Managed. Even if he doesn't know you.

-Come on, walk.

-Where?

- In the city!

-Flyover.

-Okay.

I am crossing the Mauna flyover and walking towards Jainabazar. There are no yellow lights in the city now, everything is fluorescent. Nivedita is also walking. The cars are going one after the other, Nivedita holds my arm in fear. Many fears of devotion. They are holding me inside.

- It would be better if it was a bird.

-Shalik?

-Uh, pigeon.

- I call you a pigeon, the white dove is a symbol of peace.

- What's in it? Before that. I have become a statue in love. And if I am not a shalik, you will be a shalik alone.

-Happy twin sister-in-law?

-Huh. I used to fly in pairs. I would sit at the window, at that window of yours.

- On the balcony?

-Dad, look!

- Too scared?

- Not at all! I would fly away.

- But we are not birds, we do not have wings!

- There are arms, there are hands. Dependence.

The fluttering of two human-like wings in this aimless walk has turned into an unfamiliar pair of unfamiliar birds. Their hearts have changed in the mystery of creation. The language of the mind can understand each other. Only if they can understand the language of the path and combine the paths of friends in a straight line will they flutter their wings of happiness. There is still a long way to go. People are stuck in the story of tragedy, not in the story of happiness. Still, after a year of flying, wandering around the city, falling in love, a meteor of emotion descending from the sky through the night, maybe one morning a red sun will rise, that sun will be enjoyed by both of them on the same balcony or in the same window. Or, after many years, the two birds will be in separate cages. Two separate balconies and windows. The sun or the full moon can be seen from the two windows, the balcony. But light will never enter through the windows in those two rooms. There are two possibilities. For now, we dream of the first one. I walk mile after mile in love. There are conditions for dreaming. You have to love, you have to protect the man next to you like a mountain wall in love, you have to float in the tide of sea-like emotions together. By planting the tree of faith and blossoming the flower of dependence, he will be surrounded by the smell of the flower, the bees will be scurrying in different directions in search of Renu, only then the dream can be seen. We have these things every day, isn't it? Let's walk, build a bridge on a straight path, a crooked path, a broken path.

It is quite cold at the beginning of Magh. Nivedita is walking with her arms in the hope of a little warmth. Not saying anything. We are both walking silently, aimlessly. Speaking of some silence, there is also the end of the unknown journey. The news reaches the heart of the radio communication system in two minds. Not only news, he also sends the scent of dependency flowers. As soon as I put my hand on Nivedita's arm, I can smell the dependence. The mind is reluctant to question Nivedita,

-Nivedita Do you get the scent of dependency?

But the silence will not speak anymore. Stay! Let's talk silence for now. My faith was shaken by the leaves of the tree, Nivedita is also getting, the smell of great dependence! And unknown journey stoppage? He is not another day!