Do you ever get this feeling like you're drowning and hitting a stonewall at the same time? Like you're just at a standstill and you don't know whether to go forward or to move backward. You're just stuck in time staring on as everything around you keeps moving on and on and you begin to wonder if it's the end.
These days, it seems most of what I do is sit and stare into space daydreaming about nothing at all, only to look at the time and realise an hour has gone by while I've been stuck in my head. It used to be just minutes, and I know it's getting worse, that I need to lock myself away from my own head, but how does one even begin to do that? Or more importantly, do I want to do that?
In some ways, growing up a dreamer is what gave me my seemingly endless optimism, but it's also what allowed the darkness to fester. Now, it seems that both are in a battle for supremacy. Only time will tell which one ends up winning, I guess.