Why is it difficult to speak up?

10:25pm, 12th of June, 2022

I was doing my tasks earlier today when something came up. Honestly, I was not in the position to do any another tasks and wanted to say "NO". But I couldn't, I just got angry and frustrated about the situation, started thinking in my head about why there was so much to do? Why does nobody understand me? Why can't I live life on my terms? And many more negatives as at that thing has already taken over me.

This happened so many times, but what I noticed today is I never said NO. I didn't explain why I couldn't do it.

But, why is it so difficult to speak up for yourself?

Well, there are several reasons why it can be challenging to speak up about something that bothers us. Here are few reasons you might agree with:

1. Moral values: It was always taught that if one of your elders give you a suggestion, then it's best to listen and follow them blindly. But sometimes, they can try to influence you in unrealistic ways. You need to have enough strength and confidence to stand up and make decisions even if it upsets them.

2. Fear of conflicts: We are afraid of conflict, and feel like difficult situations may be avoided by not taking a strong stand on certain issues. This results to issues boiling at the back of you mind indefinitely. There are times when the other person needs convincing from multiple angles. They often need to be coated into agreeing with your point of view and going along with what you want them to. Eventually, you find yourself following along to maintain a good relationship.

3. Afraid of being not taken seriously or ridiculed: We fear that we will be ridiculed or ignored if we say no and this makes us crave validation. However in doing so, we often end up being miserable. We don't want to be perceived as obstinate or unwilling to cooperate. Isn't that correct? These influences can make it difficult for us to speak. We need to begin with baby steps. Otherwise, we will feel resentful, powerless and believe the world is against us.

Below are just few suggestions to help out;

1. Practice assertiveness: Acknowledge you feelings and state them clearly and directly to others. Next, stay tuned with your emotions and don't let them run you. To have a voice, you will have to listen to yourself first. Once you have mastered assertiveness, you will learn to be more comfortable with yourself. Now, start speaking when situations hit you. Start slow, but at least attempt. When you're assertive, there's a purpose behind your words. When you're aggressive, you're attacking someone or something.

2. Be prepared: Be mindful that expressing emotions can be challenging. Life is not a straight line. Be honest with yourself about how you're feeling and why. It also entails being willing to listen to other people's point of view. Keep your emotions in check and concentrate on finding a solution that will benefit you.

3. Trust you gut or instinct: There's an old saying that says" trust your guts" and when it comes to your emotions, that's definitely true. Your gut or instinct is usually a pretty nice indicator of how you're feeling. So if something doesn't feel right, it's probably because it isn't.

Conclusion:

Remember all these fears are natural, but they hold us back from speaking up when we need to or when the need arises.

We have a right hand, and our voices are invaluable. If we don't speak up, we say never get the chance to be heard at all. Do you agree?

Comment down on how you deal with such situations. I would be very happy to read through them. Until then, see y'all in my next post. Thanks for reading!!!

© @Alex452