Every weekend I work at Publix late at night sometimes and people in the parking lot will see me pushing my shopping carts in tears because of the scenarios I play out in my head of what would happen if I actually had the guts to kill myself. I play in my head scenarios of telling my parents about my depression and them kicking me out of the house. I have visions of my successful friends seeing me homeless on the streets. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking that my only 4 friends in my life right now will just leave me after high school like I never existed. But that’s okay, because if I can go 8 years will no one to comfort me, I can certainly go the rest of my life. It doesn’t matter if I die alone, if I died next to someone that loved me, what are the odds of us both going in the same direction after dying. All I’m saying is, life is just fine, with or without people. And in this time of the world, people do not care about anyone but themselves and the people that care for you are probably where you will never find them.
