Arranged or Love Marriage?

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Written by
1 year ago

These past days, almost all the movies I have set my eyes on TV has been about marriage. To some, marriage is not a must, and I agree, everyone is free to live how they want to and marriage should not be used as a yardstick to measure a fulfilled life. For others, marriage is a must, and it is their dream. In fact, I have often see movies where marriages are portrayed to be every girl's dream. Well, I can't speak for the ladies, but I do know that it is a fallacious thing to say that every girl's dream is marriage.

It is not so hard to see how society has it's claws deep in our skin, as well as its right and wrong social constructs. Can't a girl dream to be a successful businesswoman? or a doctor? or a lawyer? Well, let me not digress, I suppose the ladies can speak for themselves whether or not marriage is their dream. For clarity's sake, by no means am I saying that having marriage as a dream is bad or wrong.

Marriage is scary, the thought of committing your life to the wrong person and having to live with that choice every day of your life I would say makes it so. In some parts of the world, arranged marriage is the norm. This is not a new tradition, it has been in existence for as long as I can remember. Even longer than love marriage.

I often picture myself in an arranged marriage, and ask myself what would be the basis of that arrangement. Why would I even accept such or want to be in such a marriage? Arranged marriage was not uncommon in our society back in the days, in fact it is the most prominent type of marriage. Parents and sometimes relatives are responsible for setting up the couple and making arrangements for their marriage as long as the parties involved have no objection about it. Sometimes, they don't have much say in the matter and it is entirely up to their parents to agree to it, and it was settled.

Time does a lot to the mind and one's perspective. There was a time until recently where I'd always frown on arranged marriage and wonder why two people will/should marry when they are not in love. I have limited myself to seeing that without love, a marriage cannot work. Permit me to say that I no longer hold this notion. Two people can coexist, or, so I do not trivialise marriage, forgive me for saying 'coexist'. Two people can successfully be married even if they weren't in love at the beginning. This is because I personally have reshuffled my list of what is important for a marriage to be a success, and love is not at the top of the list.

I have ranked Mutual respect, Understanding, Commitment and Trust (MUCT) above love, and this is simply because love is not independent of MUCT, but MUCT is independent of love. What I mean is, I can be committed, trust, have respect and understand someone whilst not being in love with them. These are sufficient to have a successful marriage, as long as it is genuine and does not waiver. Two people can start a family under this 'guise'.

This is by no means an attempt to deprecate the importance of love, especially in marriage, I am just saying a marriage can thrive without love itself, and also justifying arranged marriage. It isn't the worst thing in the world. Love can also grow on you, when there is MUCT, there is already a fertile soil form love to grow. Wouldn't you agree?

I reckon that a lot of us are only interested in love marriage, and no one is interested in an arranged marriage, but it is still a common practice in many countries, especially in the continent of Asia. It has served society quite well in the past, and will continue to do so. In conclusion, a question for you my dear readers:

WOULD YOU ONLY MARRY FOR LOVE OR MAY CONSIDER AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE IF THERE IS MUCT?

Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤

Special thanks to @Mictorrani for the sponsorship renewal, I am sorry it is coming late. I really appreciate your support.

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1 year ago

Comments

Marriage is a serious institution where there is admission but no graduation. So in an arrange marriage situation, there is likely much possibility of rustication.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

😹😹😹 You just use school analyse the matter.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I will never go for an arranged marriage. The thought of marrying someone you barely know or haven't met is so scary. What if the person is abusive, manipulator, brainwasher..well we don't know. There's so many risks and uncertainties from marrying someone you haven't met yet.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

There is that fear of those possibilities. But one can fall in love with people who are those things too.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

almost all the movies I have set my eyes on TV has been about marriage

You know the universe is trying to tell you something but you dey try to disguise 😂

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Lmao. That I should write about marriage for you to read.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I am as interested in love marriage as I am in arranged marriage. According to the family, many are happy even if they get married. And our parents arranged the marriage with a good understanding of us.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

You are right. Is arranged marriage common in your part of the world?

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I can't imagine myself getting married for other reasons than because I love the one I'm marrying into.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I suppose for some, love must be there. That's okay too.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Maybe it will depend on the situation. I am pro to Love Marriage, but I don't have any problem with arranged marriage too, as long as it involves the MUCT that you mentioned. But for myself, of course, I will choose to marry the man that I love.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

That's the truth of the matter. Now, a lot of us will choose to marry someone we love if we had to choose. Thanks for stopping by 💚

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Arranged marriage is common in India but what I love about theirs is that the family do a background check on their own. That's their own way of knowing but most people dating now based on love, they waste their time doing nonsense without even getting to know their partner and understand where they come from. Marriage is tricky... everyone should just do what's best for them 🤣😂

$ 0.01
1 year ago

😂😂😂 I agree with you. Arranged marriage involves a lot of background investigation beforehand. But love own, na after you don fall in love you go remember to really check background.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂 person don fall yakata...no more background check needed 😂🤣😂

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Marriage is a huge thing to discuss. And if I will be going to choose, I should marry a man that I love. Of course, checking his background and getting to know him should be done first before deciding to tie a knot.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I agree, it is important to do a background check before you decide to tie the knot.

$ 0.00
1 year ago