Arranged or Love Marriage?

These past days, almost all the movies I have set my eyes on TV has been about marriage. To some, marriage is not a must, and I agree, everyone is free to live how they want to and marriage should not be used as a yardstick to measure a fulfilled life. For others, marriage is a must, and it is their dream. In fact, I have often see movies where marriages are portrayed to be every girl's dream. Well, I can't speak for the ladies, but I do know that it is a fallacious thing to say that every girl's dream is marriage.

It is not so hard to see how society has it's claws deep in our skin, as well as its right and wrong social constructs. Can't a girl dream to be a successful businesswoman? or a doctor? or a lawyer? Well, let me not digress, I suppose the ladies can speak for themselves whether or not marriage is their dream. For clarity's sake, by no means am I saying that having marriage as a dream is bad or wrong.

Marriage is scary, the thought of committing your life to the wrong person and having to live with that choice every day of your life I would say makes it so. In some parts of the world, arranged marriage is the norm. This is not a new tradition, it has been in existence for as long as I can remember. Even longer than love marriage.

I often picture myself in an arranged marriage, and ask myself what would be the basis of that arrangement. Why would I even accept such or want to be in such a marriage? Arranged marriage was not uncommon in our society back in the days, in fact it is the most prominent type of marriage. Parents and sometimes relatives are responsible for setting up the couple and making arrangements for their marriage as long as the parties involved have no objection about it. Sometimes, they don't have much say in the matter and it is entirely up to their parents to agree to it, and it was settled.

Time does a lot to the mind and one's perspective. There was a time until recently where I'd always frown on arranged marriage and wonder why two people will/should marry when they are not in love. I have limited myself to seeing that without love, a marriage cannot work. Permit me to say that I no longer hold this notion. Two people can coexist, or, so I do not trivialise marriage, forgive me for saying 'coexist'. Two people can successfully be married even if they weren't in love at the beginning. This is because I personally have reshuffled my list of what is important for a marriage to be a success, and love is not at the top of the list.

I have ranked Mutual respect, Understanding, Commitment and Trust (MUCT) above love, and this is simply because love is not independent of MUCT, but MUCT is independent of love. What I mean is, I can be committed, trust, have respect and understand someone whilst not being in love with them. These are sufficient to have a successful marriage, as long as it is genuine and does not waiver. Two people can start a family under this 'guise'.

This is by no means an attempt to deprecate the importance of love, especially in marriage, I am just saying a marriage can thrive without love itself, and also justifying arranged marriage. It isn't the worst thing in the world. Love can also grow on you, when there is MUCT, there is already a fertile soil form love to grow. Wouldn't you agree?

I reckon that a lot of us are only interested in love marriage, and no one is interested in an arranged marriage, but it is still a common practice in many countries, especially in the continent of Asia. It has served society quite well in the past, and will continue to do so. In conclusion, a question for you my dear readers:

WOULD YOU ONLY MARRY FOR LOVE OR MAY CONSIDER AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE IF THERE IS MUCT?

Thank You For Reading 🖤🖤

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