I tried to do something twice and sort of failed. I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to do them again so idk. Atleast I went out there and did it, right? I'm sad I did not make it, but I went alone, without any support system, or people accompanying me. kinda sad but that's a reality. what i got though was a step out of my agoraphobia. I get scared ( or panic) travelling alone, so going out there was a challenge on its own. Now I have to deal with my sleepless and tired…
The world is too heavy ~ 10/14/2021 - 9:11pm My arms are thin and not too strong and the world is too heavy, Moving on, I break a bone Maybe it's not for me Walking alone, this is nothing new I wish I was with somebody There's a lot of things, I can't undo And the world becomes too heavy Cold air, rain falls, oh so heavily the night carried on as if I was a nobody I hold on, "I'll wait for dawn" but the world is too heavy #Poems
My new crochet pouch is done! I posted a work-in-progress of this a few days ago. It feels so relaxing and rewarding whenever I finish something I created with my own hands. Crocheting is like magic. Accio hook! Accio yarn! Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo - here is a new handmade pouch! #CrochetPhilippines
I would try to do some adult tasks tomorrow which includes going into a public place and applying for stuff. Hopefully it goes well and I don't palpitate and shake too much - which happens whenever I feel too vulnerable. Whatever happens life goes on for me i guess. #Anxiety
Change has always brought me fear and uncertainty. I have always felt insecure whenever I get out of what I think is comfortable. My anxiety plays a big part, and I need to fight against it when something different comes my way. Sometimes we all just have to accept that we have weaknesses. Mine is my fear of unpredictable events. And life is full of it. This might sound negative but I feel empowered accepting the circumstances I am experiencing. I don't want to deny my…
On the game Life is Strange True Colors, there is a song called Alabaster Daydreams. One girl, a student, on the game is supposed to be looking forward to hearing the song, 'Where are you, girl from Rome...?' when they are at the local bar, and the player has to search for the song and play it on the jukebox. Hearing the song gave me a nice feeling. I really liked it. I tried looking for it on music platforms but I found out from someone that the song only exist inside the…
Making a pouch for myself using this cream colored nylon cord I had since last year. I want to use it as hygiene kit in my work bag. My old one was a lot smaller and I realized I needed something with more space. Crocheting while watching a let's play of Life is Strange, True Colors game. Finished the first episode, interesting new power for our protagonist, Alex, shocking ending 😟 , no spoilers though. #Crochet
I took a day off and had lunch with my family. We ordered burgers, fries, and hash bites. My mom tried the plant-based burger patty. To me, it tastes sweeter than the regular burger meat. I'm not really into the sweet and savory tastes but it was okay. I still prefer the original ones. Sorry for the low quality photo, i think i need to learn how to improve my food photography skill. 😑 #Food
I've finished all my tasks and I think all my work mates are done with theirs as well. The bosses and my supervisor left early so here we are sitting in the office in silence waiting for another hour so we can leave. Actually thankful we are not too busy now, as our schedule was so hectic yesterday. :)))
I was listening to a true crime series yesterday and they were talking about Slenderman! It reminded me of a 3d render I made a few years ago for my game dev class. That time, our instructor let us study a lot on our own and figure out for ourselves how to make 3d stuff. He wanted us to make our own interpretation of this character as part of our assignment. I think I made this is Cinema 4d. I am not good at this and I didn't pursue this career path. But I enjoyed the class.…
Day 2 of my eating-healthier journey. Yesterday I had papaya, today I ate pineapple. I bought them for lunch instead of having cold drinks from the convenience store. I feel good eating the fruits. My only problem right now is that the pineapple left a weird feeling in one side of my tongue? like something had scratch it. must be the fiber but I don't know for sure. Hopefully I can keep this up. Hope you are all well!
Back in college I had a basic photography class. This was one of the photos I took a few years ago to practice for the course. This potted plant was sitting next to the fire exit railings and it was simple and mundane. I realized that perspective, lighting and depth of field really helped in bringing out the best of this scenery. Even the rusted iron bars seemed nice in this. We could really see the world in different ways, we just need to explore and learn how to look!…
Started the day early and I just finished doing my laundry. Taking a break because I plan to clean a lot of stuff including work area surfaces, storage boxes and my bedside. Our cats are also having flea problems so I have to clean more so they won't spread everywhere. I wish we could get rid of the fleas quicker but I think we'll be dealing with them for a few weeks. 😥 It's exhausting but I will drink lots of fluid so I can stay hydrated. #DailyLife
We did it! It is now October 1st. I had a fairly busy but nice September. I was still using the Pixels application. It allows me to record my mood for the day and make small journals and write my thoughts. It's helpful and convenient for me. There is a lot of purple which means I had a fine day. While the pink ones are for happy days. The green meant a stressful time. But I forgot why I felt bad on the 22nd? I suddenly realized how that day, whatever event occured, didn't…
Coldplay released a new song with BTS. Their collaboration is called My Universe. It's a light hearted song that can brighten anyone's day! They sang in English and in Korean. I like the tune that I want to learn how to speak in Korean so I can sing along. I also saw the mv and it looks so good. It feels like the MCU.... a dystopia were aliens and humans are being connected by music. There is no Thanos or Kang but there is an entity that tries to ban music across the galaxy,…
I was late to work because of minor traffic. When I arrived at the office I realized I forgot my earphones, and then when I went to the convenience store, the cashier couldn't give me the change for my food. They run out of small bills. BUT I'm still thankful. I got to work safe and we don't have a strict work policy for being late. I can still relax without earphones. In fact, it's a good change of pace. And I managed to pay my food at the store since I have extra smaller…
I feel stressed today. Sometimes I need to remind myself not to overthink my work performance. I have this nagging feeling that I need to finish all my tasks in one day even if no one demands it. I struggle to calm down and I feel overwhelmed. I try to cope by stepping back, having a break and taking deep breathes. Music also helps. Honestly I am a work in progress. I just need to believe in myself and not to be too negative. #MentalHealth
Rainy Monday. Lucky that the rain stopped when I travelled to work. I felt the earthquake last night here in Manila. It was a bit long. I hope everyone is safe and comfortable. Check your homes for any damages and watch out for aftershocks and landslides. #RandomThoughts
I'm starting a new project. This is my second attempt to create a crochet top. I'm using beige acrylic yarn for now because I'm just practicing. I heard that it's better to use cotton or polycotton yarn when making wearables but I don't have a lot of that. Although this is synthetic fiber, it's not that itchy. #CrochetPh
The coloring book and crayons for my nephew arrived! They were from Planet Toys. I think they are located in Malabon City. I hope he likes these. He's still a toddler so I don't expect him to color like Picasso! But I hope it helps him practice his motor skills in a fun way.
This morning, my co-worker arrived and the first thing he said was 'Malas naman...' or in english 'bad luck' because he seemed to have gotten into trouble or something. He wasn't distressed or hurt, I guessed it was just his expression but still I immediately countered it with 'good luck, good luck!' 😆 I did this so I could help him manifest positive vibes for all of us. 'If you believe it, you become' isn't this from the book The Alchemist? Edit: I realized that this might…
This morning, I woke up not feeling well - mentally. I tried my best to do my daily routine going to work. I quietly noted how I felt and let it be. There's not a lot of projects at our office, so I stayed busy by clearing up my email inbox, and then clean my desk a bit. It's lunch and I feel a lot better. Still tired but more hopeful. 🌞 Sometimes we just need to let things flow even if we are not in a good mood. Accepting our feelings and working on them quietly helps too.
I got my Tulip Sorbet hooks! They were from Indonesia. These are popular among other crochet artists. I had the green hook a month ago, and I am comfortable using it. The texture is sort of matte and the ends are more pointed than ordinary ones. I feel like the yarn glides smoother so my stitches are faster using these. The colors are cute too. I'm planning to complete the set soon, once I have enough budget for miscellaneous stuff. #Crochet
I've always been afraid of misunderstanding. But the more I overthink the more I ran out of words to say. And communication is key to a good relationship, isn't it? One of my flaws is that I cannot express myself well. Especially when talking to people. I've had times when I want to tell a person something but my mind doubts my thoughts, I end up thinking whether what I have to say is even important. Maybe I'm also scared of feedback. I don't know if I have legit social…
Currently gift-hunting for my toddler nephew. I guess you can call me a newbie auntie because I don't know what should I shop for him. I want it to be affordable but something useful. I am also looking for safety instructions so I won't get in trouble with my brother! haha. Any gift suggestions for three year olds?
There is this song called Dis-ease by BTS. The lyrics says 'I feel like I should be doing something until my body breaks.' It's one of the cons of hard-work ethic. It gives the feeling of restlessness even if you know that you could relax. It's Sunday but I can't completely enjoy my rest because of my desire to be more. The uneasiness of not doing enough really gets to me. 'How much should I earn to be happy?' I'm trying not to act as if money is the most important thing in…
Sometimes I want to save people and make all of their problems disappear. Make them better, but I also understand now that I can't save everyone. I can't fix them to how I think they should live their lives. I can't always make them happy. I have to focus on the things I can control, like myself. From there I can start helping others. And maybe through the good things I can offer, I can atleast comfort them and be with them as they make their own journeys. 🌤️ #RandomThoughts
Our work hours was adjusted so I went home late. From where I live, commuting is okay so far. There's no heavy traffic and a few people outside this evening . We can call this the new normal for now, right? My brother had pizza earlier, and they saved some for me so I could eat them for dinner. 🥰
I tried meditating because I feel so stressed dealing with my headache and I think I'm having a breakout too. I listened to a clip about mindful breathing. It's calming, I feel like it released a bit of tension around my body. My mind wandered a lot while doing this but they say it's normal. I guess I need to find time to relax more often. I think it's helpful to take care of mental health when dealing with physical ailments. Hopefully I could make this a new habit.🌻 #Health
My first childhood dream was to be a fashion designer. I used to draw a lot of clothes, but I kinda got discouraged pursuing it when I realized how expensive art courses could be... I guess I couldn't totally walk away from it, because now, I'm working as a graphic artist . A little far from being a designer though. But recently I found a way to channel it through crochet. I finished the first top I was making. It's not perfect, infact I want to admit that I'm not so happy…
@Aidanifty2
