What will you do in the future when your children gets older? Will you pursue your dreams though them or for them? What's the difference between through and for in the sentence I used? Will you support your children in the future or will you be a toxic parents for them?
In our country there are lots of cases where children were not happy anymore with their parents when they gets older. It is because of the way their parents guide them and nurture them. I can say that lots of Filipino parents wants their children to follow their choices in life even if their children were choked by them. There are lots of stories that some children were suffering because of their parents choices in life.
I am glad that my parents were not toxic. They didn't made our life, their children, to suffer because of their choices in life. They nurture as in good way. They support us with our needs and plans in life. The guidance they give to us is immeasurable. I still can remember what my father said when I asked him an advice, he said "It's not me who should decide, it is you because your future lies on it. I want you to choose your path, just make sure that the path you're going to choose is best for you.'. It was the time when I ask him what's best for me to earn a course in college. I want him that time to decide. I told him that he will decide since his the one who will support my studies. But then he said that I should be the one. So, I chose education. Why? Because, I know that my parents can't afford if I take engineering course. Of course, I am thinking of them, I don't want them to suffer much cause I know, supporting a child in college is not easy especially in terms of financial support. But I am glad that my parents didn't force me and my siblings to do things that was not good for us. They support us to things they think would be better for us. They also reprimand us when we made mistake and advice to do things right.
My parents told us that they will not force us to give what they want. That they will just wait for us to do what they want to do for them. It is because they said that we are not obliged to give them things they need cause it's their responsibility. And that they wouldn't ask for return from what they did for us. They wouldn't asked because they didn't do to nurture us to have something in return. I am so glad that my parents were not like with other parents who gave burden to their children. That is why I am doing my best to be a successful child so that I can give things my parents deserves.
It is true that it's good to give someone who knows how to wait. I mean, people who knows how to understand situation. As for my parents I am so blessed that they understand our situation and my situation. Especially that I don't have work yet. They understand that I can't give yet their needs. Though they're not asking me I still want to give them what they deserves in life. They always show me that it's not my responsibility to give returns.
That is my when I have a child in the future, I will not burden him/her to obliged their selves to do things which is my obligations for them. I will not make them take my responsibility for them. I will nurture and give them the needs they need in life without asking in return same as my parents on how they cared us until we gets older. I will never let my children felt the hardships of my own choices. I will never be a toxic parents for them And I will support their dreams in the future. I will apply what and how my parents show their love and support to us.
Parents should know in the first place that when they want to have a child, they should put in mind that the child the bear will not be obliged to give return for their sacrifices in nurturing the child because it's their responsibility to take care and support until they gets older.
Cover photo from Unsplash
This is a good article to read to remind every single parent and children. We have the same path in life. My parents are smooth to deal with and giving me.the freedom to what I wanted to be in life. With all the sacrifices they took, I reward them with unconditional love and spend more time especially they are now growing old. Thanks for this amazing reminder. Have a good Sunday 🙏