I’ll keep you in my heart

Have you ever miss someone that you wish you could pull them out from the pictures or in your dreams? That you wish you can easily run to him and stay beside him forever?

I miss someone that much right now. I have so many things that I wanted to tell him but I just can’t, actually I just want to tell him how much I missed him but I don’t have the courage to send a message to him.

It’s been a year that we haven’t been in touch with one another. Sad right? But would you believe there are times that whenever I reply good night or good morning text messages to friends, I sometimes typed his name. Pathetic right? But its true even after a year he still in my system.

It is hard when you still love someone who let go of your hand even if you don’t want to. Its hard to reach out if that someone doesn’t even know how to say good bye and yet I’m still here waiting and hoping that someday he’ll be back again and things will go back to how it used to be. Yes all I can do is wish because I can’t make myself do the first move.

Will you do the first move if you were in my place? Will you just forget him and move on with your life?

I really do wish I can just moved on with my life but I’m finding it hard, until now I still don’t know where to start, until now it’s still him that I want. I wanted to delete all our photos but that’s the only thing left with me, I’m afraid that if I delete those photos he’ll also be gone forever.

I want to see him again even just in my dreams, but he is also not there. I want to create a world where I can always find him but I’m afraid that I’ll enjoy it to much and forget what reality means.

Wish you can read this, wish you still remember me. Wish I’ll have the courage to reach out, wish I can show myself in front of you. Will just keep on wishing and hoping that even once in a while you still me think of me.

Just let me be for a little more while… I know I’ll be able to let go, its just that it’s not yet the right time. I’ll keep you in my heart until I feel you no more, until someone comes and treasure me more than you do. I’ll keep you in my heart until there’s someone who is brave enough to break the wall that I built for you. I’ll keep you in my heart until all the memories have faded with time.

….

thank you for reading.