Let's be aware of what we do to not succeed
It took me a while to accept that I had finished this article because when I started it, I didn't intend for the content to focus so much on the negatives. Although I went over it over and over again, in the end, it ended up not being "How to achieve success?" but "What are the threats on this path?" and I decided to share it with you as it is.
When we are looking for ways to achieve success, our passion, determination and over-enthusiasm can sometimes lead us to the dead end of how not to achieve success. A person who has been successful most of the time can sometimes feel unsatisfied despite all their achievements. One of the reasons behind this is that every time they get closer to whatever it is they want to achieve, they take it one step further, constantly raising their expectations of themselves. This is one of the dangers that awaits people with a growth-oriented mindset.
Another illusion along the way is that if we work hard, if we are enthusiastic enough, if we use our strengths, if we persevere, if we try to do better, we will definitely achieve our goals. But in the case of a goal that is not set correctly, even if we do all of the above, isn't it likely that we will fail and then face even greater frustration?
Remember your preparation for university exams; what did we study for? To get the best score, to get into the best university, to choose the profession where we are most likely to find a job, etc. But what did I want to be? How many people really think about this? "Success" and the sense of fulfillment it creates only becomes real when you achieve a goal that you sincerely believe in. At this point, it is useful to focus on concepts such as "goal" and "desire"...
The higher our self-awareness, the more clearly we know what we want and why we want it, and the more we can convince everyone involved, with priority given to ourselves; we are also armed with well-founded reasons in the face of negative opinions. Thanks to this awareness, we can overcome the obstacles that come our way without getting anxious, by revising our course when necessary, or by going directly to the obstacles when necessary, and reach the desired result.
Now let's talk about the most important threat to success: Focusing on negative experiences. It is an undeniable fact that every individual is predisposed to this. But as with any obstacle, there are methods to overcome it. One useful exercise is to list our small, medium and large achievements. Although this seems like a very simple exercise, I would like to point out that it is very difficult to apply it correctly due to our high standard of success.
Therefore, it is important to include all of the small, medium and large categories in this list. For this exercise, find a quiet café, a bench under a tree, a chaise lounge by the sea, a nice library corner, etc., and take some time to sit down and list in writing what you feel is a success, no matter how big or small. Updating this list retrospectively after each success and reading it back, especially when you face discouraging situations, will keep your belief in yourself alive.
But will this effort be enough? What if you are in the most successful and productive period of your life, but still feel dissatisfied? Is there something wrong? If the answer is yes, I suggest you review your definition of perfectionism. The definition of perfectionism can be a mask, and behind it is someone who is constantly dissatisfied with themselves. This dissatisfaction can disrupt the balance in our lives, it can create insomnia in some, a constant state of anxiety in others, a constant desire to sleep in others... At some point, everything we have achieved towards our goal loses its meaning and we may find ourselves in an inextricable situation. The question to ask in this situation is: Is the path to the goal the right one?
If you find yourself in this situation in the pursuit of big goals, it may be worthwhile to change your perspective and aim for smaller, shorter-term goals.
