Compare Yourself To Who You Were Yesterday, Not To Who Someone Else Is Today

0 28
Avatar for Admyme
Written by
3 years ago

By Jordan B. Peterson

From his book: "12 rules for life"

THE INTERNAL CRITIC

IT WAS EASIER FOR PEOPLE to be good at something when more of us lived in

small, rural communities. Someone could be homecoming queen. Someone else

could be spelling-bee champ, math whiz or basketball star. There were only one

or two mechanics and a couple of teachers. In each of their domains, these local

heroes had the opportunity to enjoy the serotonin-fuelled confidence of the

victor. It may be for that reason that people who were born in small towns are

statistically overrepresented among the eminent.68 If you’re one in a million

now, but originated in modern New York, there’s twenty of you—and most of us

now live in cities. What’s more, we have become digitally connected to the

entire seven billion. Our hierarchies of accomplishment are now dizzyingly

vertical.

No matter how good you are at something, or how you rank your

accomplishments, there is someone out there who makes you look incompetent.

You’re a decent guitar player, but you’re not Jimmy Page or Jack White. You’re

almost certainly not even going to rock your local pub. You’re a good cook, but

there are many great chefs. Your mother’s recipe for fish heads and rice, no

matter how celebrated in her village of origin, doesn’t cut it in these days of

grapefruit foam and Scotch/tobacco ice-cream. Some Mafia don has a tackier

yacht. Some obsessive CEO has a more complicated self-winding watch, kept in

his more valuable mechanical hardwood-and-steel automatic self-winding watch

case. Even the most stunning Hollywood actress eventually transforms into the

Evil Queen, on eternal, paranoid watch for the new Snow White. And you? Your

career is boring and pointless, your housekeeping skills are second-rate, your

taste is appalling, you’re fatter than your friends, and everyone dreads your

parties. Who cares if you are prime minister of Canada when someone else is the

president of the United States?

Inside us dwells a critical internal voice and spirit that knows all this. It’s

predisposed to make its noisy case. It condemns our mediocre efforts. It can be

very difficult to quell. Worse, critics of its sort are necessary. There is no

shortage of tasteless artists, tuneless musicians, poisonous cooks,

bureaucratically-personality-disordered middle managers, hack novelists and

tedious, ideology-ridden professors. Things and people differ importantly in

their qualities. Awful music torments listeners everywhere. Poorly designed

buildings crumble in earthquakes. Substandard automobiles kill their drivers

when they crash. Failure is the price we pay for standards and, because

mediocrity has consequences both real and harsh, standards are necessary.

We are not equal in ability or outcome, and never will be. A very small

number of people produce very much of everything. The winners don’t take all,

but they take most, and the bottom is not a good place to be. People are unhappy

at the bottom. They get sick there, and remain unknown and unloved. They

waste their lives there. They die there. In consequence, the self-denigrating voice

in the minds of people weaves a devastating tale. Life is a zero-sum game.

Worthlessness is the default condition. What but willful blindness could possibly

shelter people from such withering criticism? It is for such reasons that a whole

generation of social psychologists recommended “positive illusions” as the only

reliable route to mental health.69 Their credo? Let a lie be your umbrella. A more

dismal, wretched, pessimistic philosophy can hardly be imagined: things are so

terrible that only delusion can save you.

Here is an alternative approach (and one that requires no illusions). If the

cards are always stacked against you, perhaps the game you are playing is

somehow rigged (perhaps by you, unbeknownst to yourself). If the internal voice

makes you doubt the value of your endeavours or your life, or life itself—

perhaps you should stop listening. If the critical voice within says the same

denigrating things about everyone, no matter how successful, how reliable can it

be? Maybe its comments are chatter, not wisdom. There will always be people

better than you—that’s a cliché of nihilism, like the phrase, In a million years,

who’s going to know the difference? The proper response to that statement is not,

Well, then, everything is meaningless. It’s, Any idiot can choose a frame of time

within which nothing matters. Talking yourself into irrelevance is not a profound

critique of Being. It’s a cheap trick of the rational mind.

3
$ 0.00
Avatar for Admyme
Written by
3 years ago

Comments