Listen More
The old adage “We have two ears and one mouth for a reason” applies here. When in the presence of an elder, make sure to listen more than you speak as an elder’s words come from a place with many decades of experience.
Be Polite
Acting in a polite way to an elder is a demonstration of respect. If you are in the presence of an elder, be polite. This means if they are talking, listen, if they ask you a question, respond respectfully and with a calm tone. Do not interrupt them, and always ask if they need anything. Do not address them by their first name unless they have given you permission. If you do not know their name, you may use sir or ma’am again unless they tell you different. If meeting an elder for the first time, do not sit with them unless you ask permission.
Ask for Advice
It’s a shame to think an elder, who has had a lifetime of experience, would ever be overlooked for their advice. If you are ever in need of advice about how to respond in a life situation, take some time out of your day to seek the counsel of an elder. Their advice may be better than what the doctor ordered.
Visit With Them
Sometimes our Native elders may spend time without the benefit of their communities because they may be at home, in an elder retirement facility or simply sitting alone during a powwow or other social occasion. It is a great show of respect to visit with them and bring the community to them.
Let Them Eat First
In many tribal communities it goes without saying that at any social event, the elders eat first. In any case you can show an elder respect by offering to get them a plate before you get anything for yourself. This is especially true If they are not able to stand for a period of time or could use any sort of assistance.
Ask About Traditions
It’s a great show of respect to ask the Native elders of the tribe to tell you about your traditions and culture. You can also learn from them in the process, which not only is respectful, but of benefit to learning the ways of your ancestors—a definite win-win.
If they speak your tribe’s traditional language—speak with them.
Whether you know the language of your tribe or not, offering to speak words, learn words and share the language is a nod of respect for the ways of your tribe. You will learn in the process no matter how well you speak, if you don’t speak the language it is a great way to start.
Ask About Their Lives
By asking an elder about their life, you can hear some of the most amazing stories. It also shows that you are interested in them, and that you care. Something as simple as asking an elder to tell you their stories shows a great deal of respect and reverence for an elder who deserves it.
Give Them a Call
Sometimes we are not close enough to see an elder in person, but this certainly does not mean we cannot reach out to them in a personal way. In our busy lives it’s easy to forget the amount of meaning an elder will experience if we take time out of our day to say hello.
offering to speak words, learn words and share the language is a nod of respect for the ways of your tribe. You will learn in the process no matter how well you speak, if you don’t speak the language