This is why I DON'T believe in GOD - Part 1

My Past

So, I am a previous Catholic Church member, and I think that me being a Roman Catholic is just typical. When I was a kid, I was taught to pray, rosary, and read the Bible. We go to the Church every Sunday. I also became a sacristan, and in High School and College, I became busier, and I can't go to church as frequently as when I was a kid. However, even if I am alone, I am still going to the Church to pray solemnly, and what I did in the past, I am talking to God in my mind about my plans in life and the things that were happened in my life.

I felt the presence of God at those times, but as times pass by, I became older. I became curious as to why there are other religions. I have seen Muslims, protestants, and other Christian denominations for a long time. So, I investigated those things with the help of the internet from a long time ago. Maybe around 2007 or 2008, when I started investigating. I also heard about atheism, but I am not interested because it was already said and written in the Bible that there are people who won't believe and will deny God.

Discovering the truth through other Religions and God

The first thing I focused on was that maybe the correct answer is in another religion. I tried to look and observe my own religion, which is Catholicism, and I learned about its history that if Spaniards didn't colonize us, the Tribal religions could have continued. And maybe those religions will be our religion at this time. Historians called those religions aneitheism or bathalism. Those religions came first before Islam came to the Philippines.

I also have seen in the history of Christianism that they have been separated into thousand denominations. Well, the reason why they were divided is mainly because of their different interpretations of the Bible and the belief in what God really wants. There were those people who didn't like or agree with the Church's doctrines, and that's why they established their own church that aligns with their beliefs and perspectives.

I also looked at Islam. I studied Islam, but I haven't seen much difference from Christianism. However, they were more strict on keeping their tradition. The ending is that the idea is that Islam came from ancient Christianism. Instead of Jesus, Mohammad is the one being known as the last prophet of God. He rides the horse that is flying towards heaven, and he met God. Some say that truly happened. Others say that teleportation is what really happened. Some also said that it was just a figurative story. And much more prophecies that were believed to be fulfilled and done by Mohammad, which was written in their holy book, which was known as Qur'an.

My observations on various Religions

I noticed the transition of the scriptures from the Torah of the jews from which Christianism and the Bible came from and the Bible to the Qur'an of the Muslims. Some said that 50 persons were in the Bible and also mentioned in Qur'an, and although there were some minor differences, there are still some similarities.

I also noticed the patterns of religion. Usually, there is a leader, an influential person who didn't become happy or convinced at their time and established their own religion with a different story, different beliefs, and different ways of serving and praising God.

Conclusion

So, I realized that I couldn't base and believe the story of the different religions. That is because there is no way for me to confirm and verify the stories. What will happen is that I will only choose depending on my emotions or feelings. On what religion for me is I see as righteous.

That is why for me, Religion is a dead end. What I am seeking is that if there is a God that truly exists. A God that could prove that he exists without basing on my own emotions and feelings. I don't say that there is no God because it is messy, and there are lots of religions. If there is truly a God that cares for us, why can't God make all these things clear by himself?