Life is all about the meanings we attach
We make decisions every moment of our lives. Sometimes these decisions are as simple as what to eat, while other times they can be as big as moving to another country that will change our entire lives. It would not be wrong to say that making the right decision is a very important part of our lives.
According to Tony Robbins, who is also a life coach, if you make these decisions unconsciously, as happens to most of us, you will be physically out of shape, emotionally exhausted and constantly stressed about finances. But if you make these decisions consciously, you change the course of your life starting today.
There are many distractions around you. You can focus on what is happening now or what you will create in the future. Or you choose to focus on your past. Wherever your attention is, your energy moves in that direction. What you focus on and how you do it shapes your whole life.
Rather than focusing on what you don't have and being jealous of those who are doing better than you economically, you need to realize that you have things that you should appreciate and that money can't buy. You can be grateful for your health, your family, your friends, your opportunities and your mind. Developing the habit of being happy with what you have creates a whole new level of emotional health and wealth.
Are you making the effort to be truly content with your mind, body, heart and soul? This is where you can find joy, happiness and fulfillment. Although you can influence many areas of your life, most of the time you cannot control them. If you focus on what you can't control, there will be more stress in your life. If you choose this negative perspective, you need to make the next second decision.
Try to figure out what it all means Ultimately, how you feel about your life is not about what you have or haven't experienced and what kind of financial situation you have. Your quality of life is determined by the meaning you attach to it. Often, you don't realize the influence of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to events in your life. When you experience an event that disrupts your life (such as a car accident, a health problem or losing your job), do you tend to think of it as an ending or a beginning? When someone disagrees with you, do you think they are insulting you, or do you think they are guiding you or genuinely care about you? Your life is made up of the meanings you attach to it.
Each meaning brings with it a unique emotion and the quality of your life is closely related to where you are emotionally. We have all seen people on antidepressants who are still depressed. If we focus on what is missing in our lives or out of our control, no matter how much medication we take, we will not be able to avoid hopelessness and unhappiness. If we attach the meaning of "life is not worth living", we create an emotional state that no antidepressant can overcome. If we change our focus and the meanings we attach, there is no limit to what can happen in life.
So take control and remember: Meaning is emotion and emotion is life. Make conscious and wise choices. Look for a strong meaning in all events and you will find richness in the deepest sense. Once you create meaning in your mind, that creates emotion, and that emotion leads you to make the third decision below.
Let's jump over the obstacles and keep moving forward
Each of us plays the leading role in our own life. And this is necessary to put things in order, to set things right! But this is such a line that the fact that the world does not revolve around anyone should always remain in the corner of your heart and mind! This is the fine line where putting yourself at the center of your life and keeping your relationships in balance dance in harmony.
The number one rule of life is balance. When your scales have shifted a little, it is very difficult to recover. But as I said, this is a very fine line. Those who confuse modesty with being a loser cannot see what is really valuable because of the ego monster they grow inside themselves.
The people you thought you were on the road with may never see the fact that they are the ones who make the rules just because you disagree with them, and when the rules don't suit you and you leave the game, they may label you as half-hearted. Isn't it always like that? When you don't behave the way they want you to behave, you become a misfit. I call this injustice.
I think what is fair is that if you are really on a journey together, everyone's ideas should be collected and a common ground should be tried to be found. But if you don't have to live in a place where your opinions are not valued, it is a matter of respect for your personality and your principles not to stay even for a minute. On the contrary, maybe they see this as ego... Let them see!
You cannot be authentic if you care too much about what people say. I was born to be authentic! You don't have to accept anything, good or bad, that doesn't fit in your head or doesn't fit in your heart! For advice, take the part that suits you and ignore the rest! Just as constructive criticism helps you to improve and move forward, negative and destructive criticism is bound to drag you down as long as you obsess over it or worry about it!
In love, at work, in friendship, in whatever relationship you have, you don't have to accept anything that you don't feel comfortable with. Mistakes happen, of course. We all make mistakes, we try to correct them or they try. Time comes, years pass, the issues discussed remain simple, hanging in a corner in the past. But the most important thing is to leave everything to time, calmly, without losing your respect, and to know how to move away from situations you don't like with your free will.
Don't we have such friendships and relationships around us? Isn't the real madness the tendency not to speak out against a situation you don't like, but to continue in sick, dependent relationships? With time passing so fast, what is the purpose of being alive, other than to chase our own dreams?
When we are already going through such difficult times socio-economically, with thousands of obstacles in front of us, whatever will trip us up on the way to our dreams, just step back, jump over it and move on! Sometimes you have to take a step back before you can jump.
For each step towards your dreams, take a deep breath, focus only on today and jump calmly. See how the giant inside you awakens! The source of this power burns only in your heart!
Step by step to your dreams...
Let's Astral Travel Together
Some say it is easier to reach the necessary level of relaxation and heightened awareness at dawn. Nevertheless, it is possible to astral travel at any time. So there are actually no strict rules for astral travel. You can also choose a period of time when you are strong enough to do it.
Astral travel requires deep relaxation, so do it in a part of your home where you are completely comfortable. Lie on your bed or couch and relax your mind and body. It will be easier to practice astral traveling alone. For this reason, make sure that no one will come near you in the place where you are. Draw your curtains and get rid of noise. Any interruption can disrupt the state of relaxation you need to achieve.
Close your eyes and try to remove distracting thoughts from your mind. Concentrate on your body. Your aim should be to achieve complete mind and body relaxation. Stretch and then relax your muscles. Start with your toes and work your way up your body, gradually moving towards your head. Make sure that each muscle you pass is completely relaxed. Breathe in and out deeply. Keep no tension in your chest and shoulders, just relax.
Let go of your external worries and don't bother any more with the idea of your soul leaving your body. Just allow yourself to relax. To begin astral traveling, it may be helpful to use a quartz crystal to raise and accelerate your vibrations. Hold the crystal slightly away from the center of your eyebrows, with closed eyes and breathing deeply. You can imagine gold, white, purple or any color light if you wish. During meditation and astral travel you can hold the crystal in your hand, place it on your chest or abdomen. The crystal will strengthen and protect you because of its high vibrations; negative energies have lower vibrations.
Allow your body and mind to approach sleep, but do not lose consciousness completely. Reach this state using the following method.
With your eyes closed, let your mind wander over a part of your body, for example your hand, foot or one toe. Even with your eyes closed, focus on your chosen part of your body until you can visualize it perfectly. Keep focusing until all other thoughts disappear.
Use your mind to stretch your body, but don't physically move it. Visualize your fingers curling or interlocking and then uncurling until you see them as if they are actually physically moving.
Extend your focus to the rest of your body. Move your legs, arms and head using only your mind. Keep your focus fixed until you can move your whole body in your mind.
Get into the vibration. Many people, as they prepare to leave the body, feel vibrations coming in waves of different frequencies. Do not be afraid of the vibrations, because the presence of fear can cause you to leave your meditative state.
Think about the place in your mind. Put your body into your mind to stand up. Look at yourself. Get out of bed and walk across the room, then turn around and drop your body on the bed.
If your conscious self is now separate from your body, you have succeeded.
Physically move your fingers and toes. Allow full consciousness to be regained.
For some people it takes a lot of practice to get to this point. If you have trouble completely lifting your spirit out of your body, first try lifting one hand or leg. Keep practicing until you can move across the room.
When astral traveling, don't turn to look at your body. Instead, leave the room and walk to another room in the house and examine an object in the other room, something you've never noticed before in a physical sense. Make a mental note of its color, shape and size, paying attention to as many details as possible.
During your next astral travels, go to places that are less familiar to you. Each time, note details you never noticed before. Each time, physically verify the details. After a few trips, your confidence will grow and you will be able to travel to completely unfamiliar places.
Mashed potatoes and My anxiety
I'm in the kitchen making mashed potatoes. I'm dancing to Dee Dee Sharp as the potatoes boil. I'm smiling as I throw a little salt into the boiling water. My cats are curled up in a corner of the kitchen, watching me, yawning. It's a perfect moment. Everything is all right. I feel safe, happy and at peace.
Then, out of the blue, my brain starts to sound the alarm. It tells me that something bad could happen at any moment, that I should be prepared. Then it starts screaming that I'm in danger, "Hurry! Something bad is going to happen!"
I turn off the music, I check that the cats are okay, I make sure that only one knob on the stove is on. I don't feel safe, happy or peaceful anymore. As I run through the horrible things that could happen to me, I don't even realize that I've over-boiled the potatoes.
Somehow I manage to get them out of the pot and let them cool down. I go into the living room, sit on the couch and breathe deeply. As I breathe in and out, my worries begin to shrink and seem utterly irrelevant.
Of course, I know that terrible things can happen to me at any time, and that it is impossible to live in denial of this possibility. But I also know that I can't live in constant vigilance for these possibilities.
There is something that prevents me from getting too caught up in my own happiness. Something poisonous that keeps me from having too much fun, from being wildly happy, or simply from maintaining that perfect, balanced state of mind that I feel when I'm in the kitchen making mashed potatoes listening to Dee Dee Sharp.
Something that tells me that if I surrender, if I let myself go, I will get hurt. Anxiety. My old friend. I know him better than I know myself. It's always with me, even when I don't feel its presence. She lurks. He tries to talk to me, to remind me of himself, to keep me on my toes.
He wants to protect me. Even when I don't need protection. I know that, in fact, he is only trying to keep me alive. I used to compare this state of mind to swimming in a stormy sea. As I struggled against the huge waves, I would struggle to breathe, I would feel like drowning, I would panic. My chest would tighten, my heart would pound, my face would turn red. And the more I fought against the waves, the more I struggled alone in the middle of the sea, the less chance I had to calm down.
Meditation taught me not to fight my anxiety. To be still in the sea and watch the waves crash over me and onto the shore. That when I surrender to it, when I focus on it instead of ignoring what is squeezing my chest, when I breathe in and out with it, it will go away on its own. Meditation has taught me to never be afraid, because my anxiety will not kill me. And that I can calm it down if I want to.
I go back to the kitchen, put the potatoes in a bowl and start to mash them gently. I am completely absorbed in what I am doing. I notice the movement of my hand, the color of the potato, the steam hitting my face. And with this awareness, gradually, I feel my heartbeat slowing down.
When I finish mashing the potatoes, I add some black pepper, olive oil and almond milk to the bowl. I don't think about anything else, I just focus on the bowl. Then I mix it all together with a big wooden spoon. At that moment, I realize that the old whale sitting on my chest is gone.
I am free. I turn on the music again and dance and taste the mashed potatoes. It's delicious! I can't help but start singing and put a spoonful of mashed potatoes in my mouth while my cats look at me and yawn happily.
I think some foods are magical: pumpkin, asparagus, lemon peel jam and most of all mashed potatoes. I congratulate myself for being able to make this beautiful dish. I do this because I know that celebrating small successes is an effective way to ward off anxiety.
It will come back. I know that too. But I am at peace, because I have already proven to myself that I have the strength to weather the big storms. And I know that when he comes back, I will find a way to soothe us both, as I always have done on previous occasions.
Revenge makes us feel good or bad
Revenge is a dish best eaten cold. It's like the feeling you get the next morning after eating a big slice of cake in the middle of the night, or the regret that hits you right after texting your ex. Good in theory, bad in practice; instant pleasure, long term frustration.
Here is a strange revenge that shares common feelings in return for all this. It's hard to forgive; revenge is like a pleasure. But if you take revenge, it's one thing; if you put up with it, it's another, why? The answer is a bit roundabout. What is this revenge; does it really make you feel good or regret it, should we take revenge or not?
When someone wrongs us, many emotions arise in us; anger, sadness, resentment, resentment and the desire to do the same or similar to them, to equalize, to do justice. Let him/her suffer, let him/her cry, let him/her experience what he/she made us experience. Isn't that right?
Don't worry, you are not a hateful person, we can all face feelings of revenge from time to time. But how does this revenge really make us feel; good or bad? Researchers trying to understand which types of emotions are more dominant when it comes to revenge have started to study how people feel about taking revenge, and they have come up with some very interesting results: Getting revenge can make you happy, but it can also make you miserable! Yes, you read that right. Let's take a look at what research has found in these completely opposite conclusions.
David Chester, associate professor of social psychology, says, "When you get revenge, you actually have an increase in negative emotions, but you also start to feel some positive emotions; you feel sad on the one hand and happy on the other." In other words, he points out, revenge involves two opposite emotions that are intertwined. On the other hand, he likens revenge to orgasm in terms of its instant gratification and hedonistic experience.
Research conducted by Chester and his colleagues, which examines both behavioral changes and brain activity after revenge, reveals that revenge has hedonic rewarding qualities. Let's explain what this hedonic reward is: Acting out of revenge triggers the brain's reward mechanism, increasing the release of dopamine and endogenous opioids; dopamine is related to feeling good when you achieve something, while endogenous opioids are related to wanting to do something. So in this case the brain is saying: I want to get this revenge and I love it, I'm happy to do it.
And does this feeling last long? No, it doesn't. In fact, according to research, that momentary pleasure, that feeling of well-being, lasts so short that it's not even worth getting revenge! Although the sudden release of dopamine, which is suppressed by revenge, brings happiness to its peak at that moment, soon, even within a few minutes, a sudden collapse in mood begins. And the sweetness of revenge is replaced by warm shame and guilt.
The result? The result, as we can imagine, is regret.
So, getting revenge on someone for something they've done doesn't lead to as long-lasting a sense of fulfillment as one might think. And yet, according to Dr. Chester, even though people have experienced both of these emotions, they are ready to take revenge again the next time.
It's like waking up on a weekend morning with a headache, nausea and dizziness, saying 'I'm not going to drink again' and then getting hangover again, he adds.
The bottom line is that it may be better to be forgiving and not carry this burden rather than revenge, which doesn't help anyone and only makes you feel good for a few minutes and then causes the negative emotions to come out more intensely.
@waliddouglas
