@wakeupkitty
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It's not the right time.
*I never understood them. Those people who said it's not the right time to start with children.* *Is it something for grandparents or people who envy you to say?* Each time I heard someone saying these words I thought "if it comes to it the time is never right". Is there a right time? Humanity survived wars, revolutions, dictators, viruses, deals with bacteria, the environment, and diseases that run into the family, bad DNA. The economy at this moment is as bad as it was during the second world war. Poverty is increasing and so are the prices and the expectations. Is it a good time to have children? **If I want a child, are so lucky to get pregnant and bring it to a good end, I need money.** The midwife needs to be paid and she has a long list with all these things I need to buy. Stuff I need for me like towels, bandages, plastic to cover the floor, disinfectants, a thermometer... I need to buy things for my baby. One diaper is not enough the list says 24 of these, 12 others... It's the same with the clothes, all those tiny things I need to buy in three different sizes at least 6 of everything. I need special washcloths for babies only, special soap, shampoo, and a baby bathtub and a plastic sink, two buckets with lid for the diapers, and bigger diapers for the crib and which can be used for a towel. I do not want to waste my money on so many things I need according to the midwife. I know my baby will be small, the sink is fine too and what I wash today is dry tomorrow. I have no intention to waste money on pampers because I will use cotton diapers. Diapers I wash, iron, and fold myself and which will fit my tiny baby perfectly well. **Is having a baby only for the rich these days?** It sounds to me you can make it as expensive as you like but does this make me a better parent? My baby sleeps with me and if I am busy it sleeps in the crib. I didn't buy a new mattress and yes, it can sleep on its belly just like I did. It will not choke or die. Sleeping on the belly feels warm, save plus it helps against upset intestines. I do not see the need of buying six bottles plus all the extras including a bottle warmer. I will breastfeed and if I work again it's early enough to buy something I need so it gets my milk instead of the fake stuff made in a factory. `My baby doesn't care about fancy, new clothes. The only thing it needs is care and love.` **I don't want to be forced to hire a nurse.** She doesn't care about my baby, doesn't observe it the way I do. She doesn't care if it's afraid of water and tries to break its limbs to force it into the bathtub. A strange-smelling woman all in white with an unfamiliar voice ignores the dislikes and the boundaries of a baby, my baby. There is nothing this woman can do. She will not cook and clean, not take care of the pets, there will be no visitors since I am a single mom and she will not shower me. I have to pay someone for sitting on my couch and adding nothing to my life. Although it isn't me for sure someone will need her. **I am not afraid to do anything wrong.** I know I am not a perfect parent. How can I be if I am not a perfect person? There will always be someone complaining about me, there will always someone saying I do something wrong. Times change and so do the ideas if it comes to parenting. In some countries, the old methods are introduced again. Customs which are suddenly modern again. What was preached for one or two generations is no longer a smart thing to do. Suddenly we all come to the point it's better to do it the old fashioned way. Mother Nature knows best. If I get pregnant it doesn't mean I am too young or too old but my body can handle it, is ready for it. If I deliver my baby at home it is a natural way to do. A baby's first experience in this world should not be a terrible light and the white of a hospital room, strange people, bacteria, and germs. `If I raise my child the way I like there will be fewer conflicts and my child will understand it's not all about the money.` **Is it the right time to have a child?** It's the first time I believe it is not. After each war, there was hope, hope for a better time. My children will never have the freedom I have. My grandmother had more freedom than me. To be honest I hoped my children would have a better life, more freedom, the right to travel, freedom of speech, good healthcare, and the chance of a job. It's not the Coronavirus which took this hope away. This virus isn't new, neither are viruses, colds, or the annual flu. What is new is how governments abuse it to finally push all kinds of rules, laws, and restrictions upon us. A nation of sick, mentally sick people is what will be left. People who will live like animals in a cage and gave up on the hope of a better life. Specialist already warned for the alarming amount of people who cannot deal with lockdown and restrictions for life. And this is the difference between "the old days" and the reason why I changed my mind. This is not what I want for my children. It's because I know better. I grew up in a world where I had the freedom to go where I like if I could afford it.
21 comments
Take care of yourself, prepare yourself, make money before thinking of having a baby. Nice article
Thank you. And what about the world you put a child in? That is the main issue here. Forever locked inside your house, no right to travel, no right to have visitors in your own home...
We need to take back our freedom.
Yes, that is what we should. People still seem to believe it's for our own good, it's necessary but it's not. You seem to be the only one who read what the real issue is. We need a future, children grow up and need a future too.
Like they say, change is constant. Patience is key, its not your fault that covid19 attacked the world,but its our job to stay safe. So we endure these times and wait for better days.
It's not about enduring times but about governments using a Coronavirus for an excuse to take all rights away. It goes pretty far in my country that claims to be a democracy and strangely enough starts with new laws now we have no longer a lockdown.
It is not necessary to wait until things are rossy to have children. One just needs to plan even if it is one child is okay. Love and care is what matters.
No, a future matters too. You don't want your child to grow up on the streets, ends up in a children's home where it will be eliminated or live in a world not bigger as it's own room not allowed to get near people.
Children are one of the best gift from God. Best part when you mentioned children don’t care about fancy clothes or stuff , all they need is care and love. Loved it 👍🏻
But... They need a future too. Is there still a future for children born today? Will a newborn love it's life if it has to live in a lockdown forever? Not allowed to get near someone, no hug, no visitors at home... All aspects our government want. It's not what I want or wishes for any child. Children will be raised to fear others because of a virus that didn't kill more people in my country as the flu from winter 2018-2019 did.
The questions raised are very legit. I believe we as community also have to think about it, what are we doing to give them a better future. The lockdown was hard on adults also but they could complain to each other, but children couldn’t even complain, they couldn’t go to parks, go out cycling. Nothing and this is sad
There's no perfect timing for having a baby if it will givin to you in any circumstances then you must embrace it. We as parents we will do our best to protect our child ❤️
Are you able to change the world a child is born in today has to live in in its future? That world will be completely different from yours.
No I can't change the world because I have a baby now, but that doesn't mean we have to stop the natural cycle of life just because the world are getting worst. We still have to do things but of course with precautions. If you don't have a baby yet then don't, don't overthink so much. Tomorrow is never a promise to all of us.
I want to share with you that recently i become aunt. Three days ago, my two sister-in-law gave birth child. Even one of my teachers also gave birth a child. Though the situation is not in favour because of this pandemic, they somehow managed to take care of everything and by the grace of god gave birth their children. And, all we need to love that child. A child is not a burden rather a gift. 😍
Congratulations to you and the new mothers. This is not about if a child is a gift or not, not about if parents manage but what life will look like ones these children grow up. Social distancing forever, a little child can not have a hug from people who do not live in the same house, the teacher has to keep 6 feet distance (no hug if the child falls, breaks a leg?), elderly locked in without any visitors, no right to travel for most people, right to have visitors in your home, all things and more my government wants. It's something, a future, I do not want for my children.
Do not lose hope. Situation will never be the same. Hope things will be good. We just need to have patience.
Baby is a big blessings to parents. So even we are experiencing though situation bcoz of pandemic. It's there right to have childs and family of their own to raise. And family to protect. Just keep safe everyone!
It can be either, "I want to have a children but I can't bear one" or "I want to abort it because I don't have the money to raise it". Its sad that those want it, can't have it and those who don't want it, have it. :(
"My baby doesn't care about fancy, new clothes. The only thing it needs is care and love." I agree with that. your article's awesome. the way you think and see the world, it's nice but just that. and you are right. but I think there are more (rights)... The wars and all the problems that the world has gone through, It's true that people have gone through all this, but at what cost? (do we know why we are like that?) I still believe that some people are better off never give birth to a human being because they don't deserve it. It's true that we can't say exactly who deserves it and who doesn't, but when you see the behavior of some people as parents, you see that many people don't smell of humanity but still wants to educate a human being. But it's not just a matter of having a baby, before that, we have to open our eyes to the fact that he's a human being, not just a baby. we must do everything we can for him. so if someone thinks it's not the right time, I believe to let him/his think that way. But I believe these are not enough excuses for us not to try and get better. thank you very much!
The only thing that I can say is 🤔