@trimmer339
more from that month
While Growing Up
I was born in one of the coldest months of the year. I wasn't sure if I was born out of love or out of lust. Then again, I am thankful I am alive. But somehow, I wish I should not have. I grew up in a poor family who struggled to have a decent home with no electricity and there's always a doubt whether we can eat a meal or not depending on how much my father would make in a day. Back then, I didn't mind all of that. No matter how hard our life was, my parents didn't left us. They gave us more than what we needed. They taught us to see the reality and be thankful of what we have as of the moment. We don't own anything that is why we were always moving from one place to another. Much more when my father left us, we moved a lot just to find a place to live for 3 years. That 3 years changed me completely. Thosr years were my darkest times. I was completely lost and alone. There were people but they didn't understand how I felt. It felt like I was given a big responsibility that isn't fitting for my age. I matured at an early age. But did I really mature? or did I just go with the flow of life? Did it do me anything good? I think not. My childhood was stolen from me. I couldn't smile back then. I lied a lot not to make people worry about how I truly felt. I was lost and no one can help me because I didn't let anyone do so.
I grew up with so much hate and anger. I was hiding it by working hard and just focusing on my goals. What I accomplished means less to me since my heart is full of hatred. I was so envious to all people who can smile so brightly. I wish could do the same. But no matter how I tried, I felt so alone and sad. I was thinking, my life is so messed up that I want to end it in an instant. I pushed through just to live. No matter how hard life is, I needed to survive. I've reached where I am now because of my determination and perseverance. But then again, healing is still a process. I am far from it. But I want to be healed. I just don't know how.
7 comments
Start on little steps, no one is rushing you to be healed. It takes time so give yourself time. Hope you'll live full of love and happiness and don't hesitate to do the things you were deprived of doing-- even if it's childish. I wish you good health!
Ang sad naman ng story mo. But just keep on fighting.
As difficult as your childhood was, it has helped shape you into a determined human being so you know how to fight and survive. Healing does take time, but it will come. You never gave up, and you shouldn't now and let nature take its course. Always believe you are alive for a purpose. Find that purpose to give you something to strive towards.
Healing is indeed not linear. It will be a long process nonetheless, you're doing a great job. Keep going sir!
I am having goose bumps when I read this. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of you. You had truly shown how you were able to handle those obstacles in life in a young age. I hope your involvement here in the community will help you to encourage And add your circle of friends. I know it takes time for you but always see the brighter ones. Go for it sir! And can't wait to see more good things from you. Enjoy and 🥂 cheers!
it makes you a very strong person. I can see now that you have used the experiences to build your own positive life. continue to be one tough person.
It has been said that The emotion that breaks your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it... I'm in no position to give you an advice about healing, Rather allow me to commend you for being the bravest even at your young age. You've done so well and for sure, there's more to life for you!