@thesotiris 18 July 2025 more from that month

The Irresistible Charm of Middle-Aged Women: The priceless lessons of aging

Hard-earned wisdom, usually arrived too late, tends to lead to the conclusion that **the greatest turnoff in a woman is vanity**. There is nothing more antithetical to femininity than self-centered narcissism and arrogant pridefulness. I assume vanity is a turnoff for men, too, but at least vanity in men can open doors for them, since male narcissism is often confused with its opposite: self-esteem and self-confidence. “Fake it ‘till you make it” works because most people are gullible enough to take the performance of self-aggrandisement as supposed “proof” of efficacy. Unfortunately, **youth comes with vanity**, especially for females who, from adolescence, are treated like divine prizes on heavenly pedestals by most of their male counterparts. **It’s no accident that females then tend to objectify themselves, since this is how the world treats them: as objects of desire**. I can’t even imagine how much attention and validation an average young female receives daily, just like she can’t ever understand what it’s like for an average male to receive absolutely zero attention or validation for most of his life… and if he wants to be validated, he needs to go after it, work hard for it, give more for it than he gets. Usually, the validation he receives is nothing compared to the validation he gives — unless we’re talking about the less-than-0.1% of young males who just happen to be pretty, rich, and charismatic by default, which is not a representative sample of male reality. Women assume men receive the same attention as women do; it’s not even close. Indeed, **vanity and narcissism are the greatest turnoffs in a woman**. An arrogant, narcissistic demeanour erodes a female’s appeal almost completely, since **one of the greatest female virtues is modesty**. The fact that she is desired regardless of her vanity goes to show that she is treated as an object of sexual gratification or as a trophy to brandish for cheap impressions from cheap people. Males who chase after vain women cannot possibly appreciate true femininity; they just see and treat women as sex objects. This reinforces **the conflicting belief in women that they are simultaneously nothing more than mere objects, and that they are also highly valued**… as mere objects, though. And **this is what vanity is: the cognitive dissonance of narcissism and crippling insecurity existing at the same time**. When women completely decimate their emotional attraction with their surrender to vanity, all that’s left is their sexual appeal. Then they pretend to wonder why they are treated as nothing more than sexual objects, why they attract those who see women as mere sex dolls. And on and on this vicious cycle of objectification spins: they are treated like objects, they behave like objects, they are treated like objects. **Vanity is the opposite of femininity** (much like **feminism — female supremacy and victimhood privilege** — is the opposite of femininity also). **Vanity is an overcompensation for insecurity**. **Femininity is embracing humility and vulnerability as virtues, but without sacrificing integrity and dignity in humiliation.** **Humility is the opposite of humiliation**, much like the **confidence to be vulnerable without compromising self-esteem** is the opposite of self-blinding, misplaced narcissism that is too deluded and cowardly to accept real limitations. Middle-aged women begin to rediscover humility as soon as their physical appearance begins to inevitably degrade, as they witness a drastic reduction in the attention they receive. They thus begin to wonder whether the value they assigned to themselves was misplaced based on meaningless and shallow attention from undignified and manipulative males. That’s when women reassess their perceived social value, their identity, and their position in the world. They need the humility of aging before they can achieve the virtue of wisdom. A woman in her forties looks back at how much she was valued in her twenties, and realises that her sense of self-worth was based on her fragile, unsustainable appearance. Her measure of value-offering to the world was skewed by unearned, undeserved, and shallow attention from impressionable and undignified males, males simply responding to their involuntary biological urges. This meaningless flattery is why most young women carry a narcissism that quickly shatters before 40 when they realise that younger women monopolise the attention of the males. Middle-aged women (assuming they don’t fall for the “eternal youth” delusion of creepy Madonna face-deformity surgery) rediscover their dormant humility and femininity, long hidden by delusions of grandeur imposed upon them by a needlessly flattering society. Healthy middle-aged women, grounded in reality, possess a **rare attraction** that tends to elude their younger counterparts: a pure femininity that was lost to the vanity of youth and the false sense of value that comes from a bubble of unsustainable over-demand. If a middle-aged woman has the intellect, emotional groundedness, and moral courage to embrace her human frailty as she approaches old age, she is finally endowed with the virtues of humility, timidity, modesty, and respectfulness. She also achieves empathy and compassion that were long buried under mountains of vain self-centeredness. Humility brings out the best in femininity. Middle-aged women, assuming they have acquired the wisdom of age, offer **a charm that was earned**, that wasn’t there in their younger versions. Middle-aged women begin to rediscover the humility and groundedness of childhood, now with added experience and less hopefulness for a narrowing future. **A woman like that is attractive to men with the depth to see this**. Humility is the great gift of aging. Age teaches women that they aren’t really the priceless objects of desire they were treated as during their short youth by thirsty, undignified males; males who spoil women by giving the false impression that women are to be cherished only as objects, not people. Age is the great equaliser: it teaches us that who we are is greater than our bodies and our physical possessions. **Who we are is what lingers beyond death: our values, principles, virtues, ideas, and ideals**. ***It’s too bad that youth and virtue can rarely co-exist… the tragicomical irony of this existence.*** Share this with someone you care about.