@sc 18 June 2021

Always Suspicious

Are you someone who easily trust other people, even those who you don't fully know yet? Well, not me. Since I was a kid I always had ***trust issues.*** I don't easily trust people and most importantly I don't trust people I don't fully know yet. Even those I know sometimes still have a hard time trusting, how much more who I don't fully know yet. Where am I coming from by the way? I just had this thought after reading mommy @Yen 's **The shared umbrella story** article. I was fascinated how she was able to talk to a complete stranger because if it was me, no matter how nice the stranger is, no matter how much he talks and acts like a gentleman, I will never act the way like mommy Yen did. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that is wrong. What I mean is that I don't have the guts to be that friendly around strangers. Why? **Because I'm always suspicious.** If I was the one in that situation, I'd probably think that the stranger is feeling close and considering my personality, I'd probably just ignore him LOL. Sometimes, I'm hoping to be more trusting to people. https://read.cash/@Yen/the-shared-umbrella-story-12fee281 I remember the instances that I acted so silly just because of my trust issues. When I was in college, there was a time when I had to go home late. Our classes ended up an 7 p.m. so it was hard to get a ride home. Thankfully, I managed to ride a tricycle but I had to get off on a street that is a little farther from the house where I am staying that time. It was already 8 in the evening and the road was too dark. There are no streetlights in that street and I don't have a flashlight to light the way I am taking. I am not afraid of anything in the dark such as a ghost or what. What I'm afraid of and I'm thinking about is what if someone evil lurks there and kill me? Oh yes, I know it's a silly thought, but that's how normally I am. Then while having this thoughts, I suddenly realized that it looks like someone is following me. My heart is started to throb fast. I was thinking of ways to avoid the *criminal !* I accelerated my pace and made bigger steps. I thought of the high-heeled shoes I was wearing that time, and aha! I got a bright idea. I thought of removing my shoes and I will use its sharp heels to hit the man who keeps on following me. I was ready to take the shoe off my feet, when suddenly the man made an abrupt turn right and there I saw a girl waiting for him! Then I saw them walked away while holding hands! Good thing I didn't get into trouble for being too suspicious LOL. And do you think that's the end? No. I have more silly stories. I have more of my silly stories because of overthinking and being suspicious of people. A couple of years ago, I was looking for a job since I was just a fresh college graduate that time. It was my first time to go to the city alone. I don't know where to go and wait for my ride. There's a lot of vehicles and I'm confused which one I should take to go to my destination. Then, I saw 2 policemen sitting on a shade. I approached them and politely asked for directions. They gave the instructions and I was told that I had to wait for the free ride right in that corner. So I waited. But it's taking so long and I'm starting to get bored. Suddenly one of them asked me questions and I feel like he's interrogating me. He asked where I live and I told him the name of the town where I reside. He seemed not contented of my answer and asked me which barangay, I was starting to get suspicious of him. I really don't trust policemen a hundred percent because of the horrible stories I saw in the news that concerns policemen. So I told him, I live in one of the barangays near the town. Then he guessed and I just nodded though he got it wrong. I don't want to give personal information no matter who it is. Then the *talk show* went on, but I was only giving vague answers. 30 minutes has passed and my lift still hasn't arrived, so the policeman said he'll just drop me off the place. I barely agreed because I don't know him, who knows what he might do. But I will be running late for my interview so I have no choice but to get on the motorcycle. Before we bid goodbye, the policeman asked for my phone number. Oh my! He's too old school! But that's actually better because I wouldn't want to tell him my full name if ever he asked for it. I don't want to give my phone number either, so I asked for his name and phone number instead and told him I'll be the one to contact him instead. But duh! It never happened. I never tried to contact him and that day was the end of the story. These are just two of the most unforgettable experience I had which is a result of being too suspicious. I'm hoping I could be more trusting tho :0