@remona
more from that month
Flaws, Anger, and Motherhood. Saying myself, "don't show your anger, choose words wisely, be a good mom." But I side I'm falling apart... *This is the everyday life story of a mom, of me. Some days are so hard, I feel like I can't do it anymore. Some days are smooth. If you have any experience with a grown-up, you can understand what I'm saying.* The worse feeling is, draining out. It feels like I'm passing all the energy to my son and emptying myself inside. I know that things could be better, I could have done parenting differently. But this is what I could do. I don't know if this is what every mother feels. As I know, this feeling is normal.
My son, watering the flower plants. Kid's imagination! A real conversation with him- Red color? Why do you need the red color that I can't find anywhere? No, only red color. Try doing it with orange or the color you like, I will find it later. No. Let's search it together then. No, you go find it. I can't see it anywhere. I need my red color. Okay then find it yourself. And then... A full season of tantrums! *I know you may already feel exhausted reading the conversation. Think about the mom who has to do this conversation five to six times a day, with different scenarios, and has to control her emotions positively.* Ah, this struggle! I know things will change and I will face different challenges. And maybe every time it will feel like I can't do it anymore, I need a break. For the past few days, I don't know why, maybe my hormones or sleeplessness, I'm getting anxious quite easily. Trying my best to handle every situation correctly but I'm filling. I have shouted at my little one several times these days. It's making things harder for both of us. Maybe I need a break, not from motherhood but a small refreshment probably. I never wanted to be a perfect mom. I know I never can and there's no way to be perfect. I accept my flaws. But there's a continuous pressure I feel to give my 100%. It drains me out. Maybe I need to step back from this a little and let things go just the way it is. If you are a mom, wannabe, someone you know is a mom; be a little nicer to them. They are probably going through the same.
7 comments
My dear friend, you have the right, to be a mother is very responsible, I fully understand you because I have many friends who have children of this age, but all these tirednesses are sweet, it is very beautiful to remember these memories later. Take care of yourself and get enough rest.
Yes, it feels great to recall these memories. Like when I go through my mobile gallery it makes me smile. But dealing with it first hand is another thing. I hope I can gather more courage and energy to go through.
I feel you sis, I only want to be the best mom that I can be but I cannot control my anger. We need some "me" time, a break, to be with ourselves again!
It's a hard job and there is no break from it. Maybe some 'me' time but that doesn't make any huge difference. Maybe when we grow up a little we can feel more relaxed. Now, in their learning age, we can't sit back.
I agree sis. When I am alone for a me time in a mall or something I think about my kids all the time lol.
I'm a mom and I know how hard to manage everything, and sometimes we really need some time to set back and relax.. have some me time and don't pressure your self.
Yeah, getting some rest and relaxing on our own helps a lot. Thanks for your warm words.