@re-joyce 27 April 2025 more from that month

𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐑𝐘 | For the little one I once was Things aren’t easy right now—not even close to what I once imagined. It's tough. Draining. Lonely. Everyday feels like survival of the fittest. It's not pure glitter and celebration—just silence, exhaustion, and going through the motions. I used to think life beyond your age would be beautiful—full of laughter, freedom, and adventure. But somewhere along the way, the colors faded. My passion slowly dimmed, my confidence wore thin, and I started to feel lost in my own journey. If I could turn back time, I would—without hesitation. I miss being a kid. I miss the innocence of the unshaken belief that everything would turn out okay. I remember when I used to ask, “Bakit, mama?” and she’d always say, “Walang problema, anak.” I remember how I used to whine when she would forced us to take afternoon naps—now I’d give anything to sleep without worry. Back then, I hated home-cooked meals, but now, I'd give the world for one bowl of sinigang. From saying, “Ito na naman ulam,” to quietly wondering, “Kailan kaya ulit ako makakatikim ng luto ni mama?” Everything is different now. And if I’m being honest… I don’t even know when things changed. I used to believe I was great, smart, capable, and talented. The next, adulthood humbled me. No matter how long I study, the scores keeps getting low. No matter how hard I try, the results feel like a failure. I used to have stars on my wrist before...now I just have doubts. And slowly, painfully, I began to wonder, is all this effort even worth it? Will all this hard work ever pay off? Because lately, everything just feels like a thread of disappointment. Despite all that, I hope I'm making you proud. It's been a long journey for both of us. While I can't yet give you the life you once wished for, I want you to know—you anchor me. You're the reason I'm still standing to where I am now. And though I may not be the achiever you once were, I promise that I'm trying—trying to be "magaling ulit." Even though life is different on this side of the door—not as bright, not as warm as before, but someday, I will make you say, "We made it." For even when the light turns dim, the soul still finds a brighter way. And though the dream may sway, the heart remembers. I'll choose to stay for us—again and again. And that, dear one, is more courageous than anyone will ever know. This is for you—for the little one I once was. - Written and Photo by Leanne Joyce Mendoza In celebration of #NationalLiteratureMonth, Likha will be releasing daily literary pieces from April 21 to April 27—a tribute to the power of words and the richness of our literary heritage.