@mizuo
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Life Guide: Homosexuality: Will I Tell My Sick Mother? I am a male office worker in my 40s. My father passed away three years ago, and I live with my mother. My mother is currently in the hospital, and the doctor has told me that it will be difficult for her to recover. When she was in good health, she wrote in her "ending note" about medical treatment and procedures after death that she did not want her life to be prolonged, and now she is asking the hospital to provide her with terminal care according to her wishes. I am homosexual and I have not told my parents about it. I thought it was normal to keep it a secret, and I didn't want my parents, who were born in the 1940s and would have a hard time understanding sexual minorities, to think that I was responsible for the way they raised me. I don't think my late father was aware of this, but I have a feeling that my mother was. My mother's annoyance would be cleared up if I confessed my homosexuality, and my guilt would be relieved, but on the other hand, it might make her suffer. There are some things in this world that are better left ambiguous. As I'm about to say goodbye to my mother, I'm wondering if I should tell her. (Ushio, male) https://www.yomiuri.co.jp/jinsei/20211230-OYT8T50067/ #12312021 #advice
5 comments
better tell her about it. she might not agree about it but atlest she knows what she needs to know about her child.
Thank you for the advice! It is interesting! In the newspaper, a teacher, Masahiro Yamada answers like this below. It is interesting how they respond this kind of question for Life Guide 😉 I'm worried about your mother. In conclusion, it doesn't matter which you choose, I think that both is the right choice. However, if it were me, I think I would choose to keep my mouth shut. Everyone has a secret or two that they can't tell their parents. I'm sure I've done some things that were wrong by the ethical standards of my mother's generation, which was in the first digits of the Showa era, but she probably knew about them and passed away 25 years ago without saying anything. Parents expect a lot of things from their children. However, I believe that the only true wish is for them to live a happy life. So, what you can do is to tell them that you are living a happy life now. If you decide that it is essential to reveal your homosexuality, you can do so. Otherwise, I think it's better not to tell them. Tell her about the good times you had in the past, and express your gratitude. I'm sure your mother will be happy to hear that.
in the end, its still your choice if you tell or not. but if you choose not to tell , i hope you will not regret it and no side thoughts of what if- what if.... like the teacher said. its still your decisions and and what ever you do, choose to be happy and always smile. i have friends who are gays , closet gays, lesbians. and i have no problem with it. its their life. we must be happy for them for the path they chooses.
You have such a warm and kind heart 🤩👏 I am sure that your friends appreciate for your support in many ways.
thank you my friend. you are so sweet