A story to tell ( my nephew)
We are living in a province with my family. With a simple and ordinary life. I have three siblings, two sister, a brother and I am the youngest. One of my sister is deaf and mute she is 4 years older than me. Even though she has disability she isn't a problem in our family because she helps us a lot. By doing house chores or even working in our neighbor part time by doing their laundry. My sister is friendly despite of her disability. But life is not always easy, it has problems and the challenge lies in facing them with courage, letting the beauty of life act like a balm, which makes the pain bearable, during trying times, by providing hope.
Baby? Are you a blessing or a curse?
We can't really predict what will happen in our future. September 28, 2017 it is day before the town fiesta. My family went out early in the morning to watch playground demonstration in our town. I wasn't there because I studying a far. It takes me one and half hour, so I decided not to go home aside of that I also a have classes. They went home twelve noon to ate lunch and also because my sister's sign language told them her stomach hurts. Our eldest sister just thought that she has dysmenorrhea. But unfortunately it isn't dysmenorrhea her sign language told that she in labor and that she has a baby in her womb. Everyone in our house got shocked. My mother called a midwife. My sister go to our neighbor to borrow baby's "lampin" and clothes. Everyone is in panicked and has a question in their eyes. Why is that she carry a baby? She don't even have a boyfriend. That's the big question. And I've got no idea about until I received a call. It's my father at exactly 6 in the evening she told me what happened but I didn't easily believe because I thought he is joking. I told him "I don't believe you pa, hand the to mama for me to confirm that it's true" the moment he handed the phone to my mother I heard the baby's cry that is time that I lost myself. I cried. I screamed. I questioned myself why? Why is it? I'm not aware on my sister's situation. I'm the one who is closed to her. We slept in the same bed. How can I not know? I'm so doomed. Even my roommate panicked because they don't know. I didn't talk to them. I was just like crying until there's no tears to fall. I was so disappointed with myself. I was so down I can't imagine. I was thinking what happened to her? Why she got pregnant? Who is the father? I composed myself told my roommate what happened and they were shocked. But life goes on I accepted it. I went home weekend. I believe what I'm seeing, it just totally sink in my mind. My father interrogated my sister but no answer or sign language who is the father. After a week my nephew got rushed to the hospital because he has high fever. And it resulted that he has UTI. I even question the doctor how come he got that? He is only one week old. The doctor told me he got that from her mother when still in her womb. And I realize that time my sister likes junk foods and soft drinks. It took us 2 weeks before we knew who the father is. And to my surprised he is our relatives. He is our uncle from both my father and mother side. I couldn't believe that at his age he has the guts to that. He's 60 years old that time. Can you imagine that? It disgusted me. My father even tried to kill him but thanks to my mother she has mercy, after all we considered him as family . She told father that let the law handle it. And justice had been served. He is now in jail.
Meet my nephew
Meet my nephew, his name is Sean Miguel. He is our SEANshine (sunshine) in our home now. He is so friendly and bubbly. He's not a typical child because he is special. He inherited her mother's disability of being deaf and mute sad to say. But we are grateful he came to our lives. Definitely he gives me courage to work hard and to be strong.
Closing thoughts
Life is full of moments of joy, pleasure, success and comfort punctuated by misery, defeat, failures and problems. There is no human being on Earth, strong, powerful, wise or rich, who has not experienced, struggle, suffering or failure. No doubt, life is beautiful and every moment – a celebration of being alive, but one should be always ready to face adversity and challenges. A person who has not encountered difficulties in life can never achieve success. We just need to face the problems. Try to solve it. Accept what is done.
Lessons and realizations
And just like that... its 2022. It seems like we have just been fighting the war of our own lives. And I came up with ten lessons and realizations from 2021.
You can't always be there for everyone, and that’s okay. Sometimes we feel guilt when there are people we don't give or help every time they need us. Don’t feel bad, because we are not Superman who can help or save everyone. I’m sure they will understand, don’t be too hard on yourself.
Experience is better than acquiring things. You noticed when we have a new tool we are very happy but after a few days we don't seem to notice. But the memories of travel, staycations and family activities are what we remember the most. Because you know family is everything. Even if you turn your back on them at the end of the day they will always be there for you.
Invest in yourself ( ex. Learn new skills, find a hobby, healthy diet, etc. ). Personal improvement is the best investment you’ll ever make. Others may have finished their studies, and they already have work but they still want to learn new skills, they are still taking other courses. It is better to spend on that than on vices, they say knowledge is power. And also if you have the knowledge people will not look down on you.
Time is the most important thing. You can still earn money but once time is gone you can’t turn it back. We need to be careful on what we to do. Let us choose carefully what and who will take our time.
Good money habits. We always say, money is not taken when you die. We will only die once, we live everyday so you must be able to handle what you have worked for so that no matter what happens to you, you and your family will have something to use. You can reward yourself but you have to be balanced, what is left you need to save it. Develop good money habits and you’ll thank yourself later.
Learn to say NO. You can't just say yes. There should also be boundaries and limitation especially if you are the one most affected. Because other people will ask something from us even if we can't, we will give it because we are ashamed that they might be disappointed. Until they get used to it then once you don't give in immediately because they have different expectations from you (Because you always say yes).
You can't make everyone happy. Yes, it is very impossible because happiness is a choice. Even if you try hard just to make someone happy if that someone is not pleased then you can't force them. And so you know it is tiring when you do everything just to make other people happy and ended up with nothing. That is not healthy for you mentally and emotionally.
You can't teach someone who doesn't want to learn. Some people will say, I also want to learn that (business or skills) but they don’t want to learn the process, they just want the result. Whatever you teach they will have excuses. But if a person really want to learn, whatever discouragement you do they will really make way. And if they are also determine to learn and acquire new skills they will lend a time on that.
Choose people who choose you. Other people will just be there for you for their convenience, whether a friend or family members. Because they get something, because you always give them. Be there for someone who is really there for you, choose your tribe. Choose who you be with and be friends with. Be careful as always. Because nowadays you can't just trust people easily.
Whatever you do, people will judge you. So just do what is right and make you happy. And that you don't step on anyone in what you do. Either you do good or bad, people can still say something, because of insecurity and jealousy. Just be good and do the things you are confident with.
Living with my Grandma
When I was in my high school years I lived with my grandma so that she has companion in her house that will help her in her daily living. So my parents just support me in terms of allowance because I'm still studying. When I was in my school my grandma go to his garden. By the way she 80 years old that time. She really loves gardening even if I always told her not to go to the garden because of her age but she always insisted. She even told that if she will not go to her garden she will definitely be sick. And she will be tired while doing nothing in the house. So I allow her to go. Then time has come I already graduated from high school. My hometown is far from the city and to the university I enrolled with, you need to ride a motorcycle for one hour to the city and a multicab for half an hour going to the university. I was worried because I will leave my grandma alone in her house again. But on the other side I will also go home on weekends so I stopped my worries instead I strive and work hard. As time flies so fast I finish my study and graduated my bachelor's degree. Finally I can help my parents now. After I graduated I need to take licensure exam. But before taking licensure exam I need to take review to refresh/recall my mind on the things I've studied. I study hard for me to be able to passed and my grandma is always my source of strength. She is the reason why I need to go further. Fast Forward, I already take and pass the licensure exam. I'm so grateful that I only take the exam once. Temporarily I search jobs but sad to say it is not in lined with my profession but I grab the opportunity so I can help my parents and my grandma with her medicines. I worked as Call center agent for 6 months unfortunately it didn't last long because the owner got bankrupt. So I decided to go home. After a few months my grandma got sick. She always says that there's a pain in her stomach area. But because of this COVID we can't admit my grandma to the hospital. Eventually she is now bedridden. And I took care of her. I feed her. I wash her clothes. I do all the chores. I change her diaper. I take her to bath. I wiped her poof. I got all the responsibility. I'm so stressed with her attitude because it's back when she was a child. And she change her time zone. It was 1 month and a half I had sleepless night because she will woke you up and need something. And it was the time that she can't accept that she can't walk anymore. And also her eyes got blurry. It is so stressing that you take good care of her and as well as you need to earn money. You need to look better option where should profit big but less work. Because its so tiring and I only have one body to work. Everytime she talk. She always mentioned her favorite grandchildren, it pained me. I'm the one whose there for her and then she always look for them who wasn't able to be there when we need them. And just give excuses so that they can't take care our grandma. And where are they? They didn't even pay a visit to our grandma. They are just so ungrateful that they couldn't look back the day my grandma took care of them. But I am still grateful and blessed despite of all the struggles father God didn't neglected my prayers. And my grandma is still alive but unfortunately she can't walk and see. I'm hoping that she will lived more years with me.
My realization in this is that even though you have many children if they don't have compassion to you. They will let you suffer and not help. It's better to have one child that has a heart to help her parents.
@masterJeraiah
