@kingofreview 30 May 2021 more from that month

Level Of Confidence (Getting Worst)

As the time goes by like a rocket ship, I realized that I'm an avid fan of introverted things. When I was a kid, I'm not used to play with my friends. I remember that my neighbor told me that she didn't like me to be a member of a group of friend and I cried. Of course, we are still a kindergarten way back then, so it's not possible to happen like *“Hindi ka namin bati,”* when we were still a kid but we are now already friends. *Noong kinder at Grade 1 lang.* Don't mind it. It's just my thoughts.

https://www.google.com/search?q=playing+kid+pexels&prmd=ivn&sxsrf=ALeKk0322tWp8qv4rSP0e0eZLcDfbzK5pg:1622402153133&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjmq5SAj_LwAhXNT30KHUcrBGoQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=360&bih=518&dpr=2#imgrc=mLe0XnwtrSL85M When I was on elementary, I'm not used to talk with other people. My mother didn't spoil me too much on toys, and the only way that I can do to entertain myself is through writing gullible texts. That's make myself unique and disgusting at the eyes of few people due to my physical and mental instinct.

https://pixabay.com/photos/cute-adorable-boy-child-kid-funny-5147384/ Fast forward, my confidence emerged when I stepped through the land of ballpen and composition writing, because I'm already used to my environment before. In fact, I already knew my classmates since I was Grade 1 and few transferees are just adding in our section. In addition, I went to private school, and we are only twenty plus on our school, so I was strong to face on the crowd. It seems like I already knew them too well, but the result is not the result you are looking for. But as the months passed by, this kind of mindset was probably become unhealthy and inadvertently affects my studies to the point that I lost the top spot. Maybe I just used it in a right way and I said to myself that I will start now to change myself. After I wrecked that mentioned principle, my mother decided to transfer me to school. Not because I'm noisy, but it's because we are encountering struggles to afford my tuition and miscellaneous fees especially my younger sibling will step now in his journey on his schooling.

https://pixabay.com/photos/little-boy-toddler-blue-eyes-995415/ I became behave like I'm always on the second most behave on my elementary days, and I'm not used to be talk with other people compared before. Likewise, I'm not always used to be interactive with other people, but I admit that shyness literally affects my system up until today. I remember that I'm also became confident when I was Grade 7 but it became even worse. Grade 8 is the most remarkable and disastrous semester that I had ever in my life. I'm used to be belonged on a star section and pressure started to knock me off. Unfortunately, I went to the part where they are all avoiding me and I almost went to be depressed by that time. I'm having a hard time through my usage of phone since my mother restricting me to use it daily and my school allowance is only 20 pesos to the point that I want to cry. As a result, that semester became traumatic and I think they are all laughing at me since I became frowned to the point that I'm still traumatized by that past.

https://pixabay.com/illustrations/search/bullying/ Due to that, I dropped to the second section when I enrolled for the next school year and I became comfortable on my classmates. Believe it or not, I wholeheartedly accepted the fact that my confidence was burden, so I used to show all the confidence that I have by making posts on social media. That way of expressing myself reached down to the point that I was almost bullied. They are just making me fun on it, but I don't care. I just want to express all the thoughts inside my brain, and if noise.cash was existed already, then I think I will waste all my precious my time through that then I will earn money. Unfortunately, it's not. When I already replaced my new phone which I'm currently using today for writing, I started to install the TikTok when it still not yet popular. I just made some trashy TikTok videos and I just continued, it but not until my classmates discovered it. They made my one video a fun (it's okay since they didn't make fun all my TikTok videos) in my back, so I hurriedly put my account into private and decided to be quiet. I just learned my lesson. They just teased me but not to the point that they used to feel it on me everyday. After those embarrassing scenarios, I started to continue my path which is Grade 10 and that is the most memorable, but it will be more memorable if pandemic didn't colonize the worldwide world. I think that I will graduate with honors for the very first time, but we just conducted a virtual ceremony. So far, I already learned my mistakes being a confident man, so I decided to hide all the things that they might be made fun on me. Gladly, they didn't make fun of my physical appearance, but they just making me fun through my actions. It's still okay for me though since it's also their way to spread good vibes, but it will not reach down to the point that they will hurt me physically. We are just treating ourselves as friends, and it's okay to make fun of ourselves as long that we are not emotional. I wrote this because I remember bunches of embarrassing moments last pandemic, and I also reminisce my funny moments upon my classmates. On the contrary, every school year have a great importance why my confidence began to be worst up until this day. I hope I can recover and act like I can face up the whole world. Thank you for reading.