A sudden Visit... And a Sudden Goodbyes....

Heya! It's been a while..

You might noticed, I've been in and out writing in articles this month unlike before...

Well, a lot really happen. I really hate April.. it's very dramatical emotions for me this few weeks.

But starting tomorrow... No today. I am back on track again. Back as being a crazy artist, back as a writer and back as being noisy in noisecash. Alright let's go with today's topic.

A sudden visit, at the same time a sudden goodbye...

A sudden when your brother and his fiance suddenly visit us last friday.. It's been a while since my brother came home. He's been live in with his partner ever since. Well its a good thing, our chef boy is back lol. We can finally have a restaurant foods again from my brother hahaha.

They'll be stating here for 3 days only I guess. At least once in a while they visit. They talk about marriage again. They were supposed to get married this year but Janine, my brother's fiance's father was still working in the cruise, they heard he will next year. At the same time, her sister also will get married this year, so decided to move their marriage next year April.

Ahhh~ I don't want to be long to brides....

Our uncle.father, a priest will be the one going to bless them..

My father said, that I don't need to go to the brides, he approves whether I wear a suit. Well he already approves me as who I am. My mom aslo but then... We were thinking our relatives. Sigh... Who keeps rejecting things.. They always get in the way. They don't approved me to wear a suit. I don't like gown or dress. I'm not even wearing that. My last time wearing gown is only Prom and nothing else. Ah, also when I was a kid, a flower girl. But I'm already adult... Can I just do what I want? I mean... I want my freedom. But my mother was scared from her siblings that they will going to sermon her...

Oh God. This is the most hating part... When the time comes that they were going to mary. I always think of this...

My uncle priest, my mother's oldest brother talked to mama. He said I'm okay wearing suit, but I won't be joining in the entourage. Though I'll still be sitting besides them and I won't see them walk. Well that is fine me! As long as I don't wear gown or dress lol. I really don't wanna. Plus, the make up. Ugh... Eeww. I'm even allergic to make up, powders, and such. It's true I'm really allergic to them. That's why I'm the only one not wearing make up everytime there was a photoshoot or important gathering..

Anyway there's still 1 year before the preparation.. Final, I'm not going to wear the gown! Hahaha. I don't care if I'm not gonna walk or joining the entourage. Anything but that..

Friday afternoon, I take out the dogs for the time of playtime. I noticed one of my bigboy Uno is having a hard time. He barely eats this days. I even said, we'll go to the veterinary tomorrow after my check up. He can still bark, howl and move that friday, though, he's still throwing up. Even the medicine I always give him. I even forced him to give food. Even his favorite Jerky and pork liver, he doesn't eat. I thought I said, let's put you in a dextrose tomorrow. I guess, I'll stash some of my funds just to make you better...

At night, I keep hearing him trying throw up but nothing is coming out from his body.

Uno has an illness called Blood parasite. He's already 4 years old. He already have this when he was little.

I remember, the day he came out from Sassy's womb, he was the same size of my brother's foot, he's size 10'. He's big right? And I noticed that he was already sick. I thought its just me that he never moved that much, he never look for a milk. So I take him to the vet, like there is really something is wrong with him

I also remembered, doc was surprised seeing him so big, unlike the other german shepherd's size. He checked him and even had a test. Until he told me was diagnosed Blood Parasite.

Blood Parasite, haemobartonellosis, is a parasitic blood infection transmitted to our dogs by ticks and fleas. The red blood cells are targeted, and these are the cells which carry the oxygen in the bloodstream. The M. Haemocanis, the mycoplasma parasite, is considered a germ that is extremely small and does not need oxygen to survive; this parasite belongs to the Mollicute order of basic bacteria. They do not have cell walls, are highly antibiotic resistant, and are difficult to effectively eliminate. 

After hearing all of that, I closed my eyes for awhile.. I thought. I guess, I have to keep you alive. I'm not gonna give you anymore.

Year by year, he was always rushed to vet for dextrose because he's weak and keep throwing up. It was his 4 times happen to him, it keeps coming back... So this year... It's gotten worse, I guess.

Next day, While I was ready preparing to go to the hospital for my check up, I noticed him lying inside. I keep calling him though. He cannot move his body anymore. Though he can still hear me and moved his head a little. I noticed, the water and the food, he didn't touched it. I open the cage. The small dogs was out, J try to see if he's going to move. But he was not. Usually, he will stand up and keep on barking the small dogs. But this time, he just lay there restlessness...

I am about to leave going to the hospital, I talked to my father to ready the shovel.

He asked why?

I said. I think... We have to get ready. I don't think, Uno will make this as gain this year. Its getting worse this year and.. it's already his 5th time going back and dextrose again. It keeps coming back, his illness. He's not moving anymore. He's already at limit.. I said, I guess.. its time for him to let go.

I think he heard me and moved his head a little...

9am we went to the hospital for my check up. And I'm not focus at all..

We came back at 11:30am and he's still lying there..

We had a lunch... Then at 1:45pm, I went out to check him. I talked to him.

'Hey big boy.... Is it painful? It must be right?'

He heard my voice moved his head a little and heard him. I think he's crying... Crying in pain or.... Crying hear my voice... (Ah damn I'm crying again while typing this...)

I cried... 'Yeah I know.. its painful... You worked hard... Yeah.. we tried, you tried. You're my big boy after all...'

I keep crying. He too. I saw his tears came out from his eyes.. i heard my mother cried, he can't rake it so she went inside..

My last words to him before saying goodbye...

'Hey Uno, my big boy... It's okay. I'm not gonna take you to the vet anymore. I know... You fight, we fight... So stop holding your pain anymore. It hurts to see you like that. I know... I you want to take a rest too. It's okay... You... You can take a rest now...' I cried...

After hearing saying those words, I saw the color of his tongue turning into pale white and his brown eyes, turning to white little by little...

2:05pm, he... Now crossed the rainbow bridge...

'Yeah. This is the best way. No more paint, you're free now. You go and play with your elders sister out there.... I know you want to play that much... Thank you... Thank you for the 4 years existence, came to my life. Thank you for the love, your presence your everything. I will be missing your big howl. And there won't be a big boy barking at night, everytime there is people coming to our street...'

I cried again... Non stop crying...

'Good bye, big boy... Goodbye Uno... Thank you and I love you...'

After that, my father and my brother went out and start digging the ground besides us. And they burried him there in a free lot infront of us.. my other dogs was also burried there.. good thing that lot was from our family, so its okay to burried there.

We don't have box, he's too big, so father decided to put him in the sack.. but in the end I told my father to take him off in the sack and burried without it.

He now burried in there ...

...

Hey Uno, it's your 2 days without you .. how are you doing buddy? I don't regret taking you with me in 4 years. I did promised that will fight but... I also don't want to see you like that.. its painful...

This was our last picture, the day we went to the vet last week for your check up. And you even want to sit on my lap.

I miss you... I really do...

Thank you... And Goodbye big boy ..

End...