@ideallife 16 October 2022

When the road isn't as smooth as I want it to be When life isn't what I wanted it to be, I run to the places where I used to hide. Behind a book. Behind words and my self-declared poetry. I am consoled by the beauty of the sky... When life isn't what I want it to be... I am reminiscent of my past... Of my youthful desires. Of my mistakes, of my shortcomings. I think of how I survived when the roads were bumpy and the skies were cloudy. Yes... I still run and hide behind books... I still hide behind words. I hide behind poetry... Though it has always been my worry, essay questions when I was still inside the classroom. Ironic but true.

Now I am back to my slumber. Taking comfort from the wisdom of the past, of elders, of wise people... I seek the smell of the olden times, narrated in books left in the corner somewhere in the library. I crave the rhymes and the balm of ancient poems... I wake my pen up and I write and put down my crude craft. I become awkward writing yet I enjoy and I feel my worries dissipate. And it is as if I do not want to be read but I do want to be read. Like a child not wanting to hold but crying for someone to hold her. Despite everything, I am thankful. I am grateful for the comfort I always feel whenever I feel down. When the sea is rough, I furl my sail and pray hard not to be thrown... Into the mouths of crocodiles, whales, and sharks alike. I pray so hard not to fall so hard... To be lifted, to be helped, and to be comforted... And yes, I am always thankful for the shoulders and arms to cry and lean on... I am thankful for the gentle hands that guide me back to my sanity. Because when the road of life isn't smooth as I expect it to be, I need all the help that I could take from whoever or whatever. So no matter what, life is a gift to be fought for and lived for. I want to take photographs, yet I am better of with the images I form in my mind that the pictures I take when I lift my phone to capture. But I know the most important photos are of the healed hearts and the rehabilitated souls. So write if I must if it betters the quality of the pictures of life. Someday, I will gracefully travel the road no matter how bumpy and rough it may be...