@ideallife 24 September 2021 more from that month

I always thought...

I always thought that life was like that, like when I was younger, when I was a youth. I took for granted those times I should be marveling about. I felt a little bored, though I was and is not one who is easily bored. It is a luxury for me to get bored, because life is so busy. There really is no time for me to be bored. If I am not doing something, I simply enjoy my life. I am the type who would wish that if possible, there is a lot of idle time. So boring has never been really in my vocabulary. Youth had come with strength which I should have used better. I should have tried my best before. Regret comes later in life. But then as I have said, my wish is more idle time. Now I should keep moving. Even in writing, no matter what, I should keep writing. My heart is heavy. I have done things the wrong way. I have created too much negatives on my balance. Now it's hard to fix it. But I have you, My God. I love you My God. You whom I have forsaken but I know would never forsake me. I cry to you for help, I should always do so! Forever in my life. Why am I so stubborn despite the many trials that came to me? Why am I like this? Help me! Help me! Help me! I'm desperate... From whence comes my help, borrowing that question I've read before. From? From whence? From you! Help me. Please! What thoughts should I have? How should I profess my faith? How do I live from here on? Too many questions. I want an end but I can't go to that yet. What have I done? What have I done?