@ideallife 20 June 2022

The pain is there even if it is not too much I sinned unto myself by enjoying much of life. No, abusing is the more appropriate word. I have abused life's pleasures. And now I am suffering the consequences of my actions. The pain stays after the pleasure. I am bearing as much as I could. But I know it won't be long for complications to come. Still, I am hoping for a good prognosis. I am sad. Too sad it ends this way. But I've got to fight, oh, please, self!!! And I ask, why me? I was trying my best to change. To be a good girl. But I've done a lot of damage already. If I had known, I would just have stayed a hermit and never got curious. I know better the consequences of things. But I was lured anyway. Lured so far away that I couldn't believe I deviated so far from my road of life. I deviated from my desires that would have done me better. Life is so precious to waste yet I didn't think wisely. And I don't want to spend a fortune on useless things. But then, I have to spend much now that it has come to this. I should then think about what is for the best. Insurance. I think I should avail of its benefits. I have just messaged my underwriter and we are going to talk by Thursday. At least whatever happens to me I have my insurance to run to. At least, I won't feel stressed so much because I have an insurance policy. But I needed to make sure that I am not relying on false hope so I am going to consult with my insurer. Here is to hoping for the best! Pain pain go away, don't come back another day, your poor old soul want it away.