One should not lose hope, just like a flower that blooms when it snows...
A flower in my garden, and the month is March. Obviously, flower sister thought that winter was over. He said, "I will go to spring before spring comes to me". He also added, "It is my bloom that brings the spring." He is stripped of his depressive state. It reveals all its hidden beauty. Oh, the flower has bloomed brother…
Blossom is hopeful. So for what? Of course to the future. He thinks that everything will be much better in the future. The cold will end, the birds will chirp, the bees will get pollen from it. He, too, found suitable conditions in order not to be late for spring and opened it immediately. However, the future is full of uncertainties. There are all kinds of risks. The weather will probably be cold in March as well. If so, your flower brother's leaves will be damaged, maybe even die.
Indeed, it happens. In March, a blizzard is coming and flower brother is cold. Wrong timing. Why are you opening early, flower brother? What is this excitement?
An ordinary story from my garden. It's a pretty simple story for some. However, the struggle of the flower impressed me a lot. It actually describes our situation. I asked myself some questions.
Do you think the flower brother would bloom if he knew the future? I don't think it would open. To reveal her beauty, she must first look to the future with hope. If the future is dark, there is no hope. If there is no hope, there is no beauty.
Fortunately, the flower brother did not know the future. He wouldn't have opened it had he known. His ignorance of the future was, in a way, his ignorance. But this ignorance led him to hope. Just like us. Well, we don't know the future. The future is dark and full of uncertainties. No one can make a definitive judgment about your future. If there was certainty, we would have given up hope. If the future was known, Hope is formed because we do not know the future and we believe that good things will happen. When hope arises, beauty emerges. A light is on. With this light, we illuminate the dark future.
What I want to say is: The future is uncertain, we cannot change it, but we can walk more enjoyable while walking to the future with hope. If the flower brother knew the future, he would die before it opened. He did not know the future and died by opening it. Good thing she didn't know she died beautifully. The result is the same. The roads are different.
In this age where everyone knows everything, it is strange that not knowing beforehand was ignorance. Now, it is wisdom to choose not to know in some matters.
You and Spring..
If I think that the warmth that spreads inside me when I think of you on a winter morning that hosts a penetrating frost, can melt even two meters of snow outside...
If I wake up with a happy smile on my face from sleep and give your name to the day that wakes up with me...
If I see your face on all the walls of my house and feel you looking at me...
And if that excites me in the same way every day...
If you are the sugar of the tea I drink, the smoke of my cigarette, every bite of my breakfast...
If every person who looks at me on the street is amazed by the indescribable joy on my face...
If I can listen to your favorite song over and over again without getting tired of it...
If I attribute a different meaning to every word of that song about you...
If I'm raising my glass to you alone, even among hundreds of people...
If I knew it wasn't the booze that was making my head spin, it was my love for you...
If at the end of a tiring day, I feel full of energy with a small word and a smile as if I came back from a long vacation...
And if I feel that I can work for days without sleeping with that energy...
If I count the hours and minutes all day long and lament why they don't go away...
And if I'm always waiting for the moment when we will meet you...
If I can't help thinking about you while reading a book and repeat the same line over and over...
If I think about how much we'll laugh together when I tell you this later...
If I'm making plans with you...
If I'm pondering every detail for minutes to perfect those plans, even if it's just hypothetical...
If I put ourselves in the place of the leading actors in the movie I watched and say, 'We would have done this if we were'...
If I realize that the classical words used by lovers for centuries are not enough to describe my feelings...
Still, if I never get tired of saying these things...
If I know that when I reflect the enthusiasm of my love on you, you will respond to me with the same enthusiasm...
If I think that I will have the best laugh with you, eat the best meal with you, drink the most enjoyable drink with you...
If I can give your name without hesitation when they ask, 'What is the most meaningful thing in your life?
It means you are indispensable to me.
I beg you, go to work!..
Don't let your flowers on me
Do not tempt me!..
I wake up every morning in my garden, the grass shivering from the dew; then it steams as if it were smoked by playing with the sun.
Every time I go out on the street, almond trees bloom in bunches...
Poplars wiggle, whistling breeze...
An unbearable smell of thyme in the countryside, all kinds of bugs in the soil...
Don't do this to me spring
Don't come at me like this...!
I'm already holding my blood hard in my veins...
Cemre has already fallen on my brain, my heart...
The ice of my heart has melted.
I've been walking around with a vague movement in my chest for a long time...
And don't make me mad...
I'm in crisis... it's not the time to be lazy, I can't sleep with you...
Take your sparrows from my mornings, control their waterfalls and scents.
Tell your breezes not to whistle like crazy and call me to the street...
Don't let the clouds come over me...
Don't get in my blood...
... lead astray...!
You are the most coquettish of the seasons, the most effective of the aphrodisiacs, You are the accomplice of love. Do not mince me...!I know because you will deceive and make love green again; You will turn my body on and then you will go away. Just when my blood is boiling, you will gather your foreheads and purples and leave me in the middle of a drought... Your light, which I pull with that rope, will be unbearable then... Neither those crazy mornings will remain, nor the sunsets with tempting flirtatious skirts. ... Weary from the singing of lazy birds, from the smell of marbling flowers... The humidity of your busses will dry in the desert winds... The flowers and hearts you have grown will wither; Our souls will burst into veins...Life will turn into a land of crushed herbs again...my heart is in ruins...Like every spring intoxication, this last one will pass too...Eternal spring will remain in another spring.
Better yet, don't turn my soul on, spring...
Don't start a business...
Go away!
Don't lead me astray!
Why do we become attached to a person?
...What is the bond that strongly binds one person to another? Can we see and understand a person at first glance, like a steel ball that looks like silk?
...did we know what we were connecting to
when they asked us why we were attached to someone, we said 'because she's beautiful', 'handsome, smart, strong, talented'; We were listing the reasons we accepted as valid for a person to be loved.
But maybe we were attached to weaknesses, weaknesses, distortions.
While we have always tried to describe 'connection' as a flight towards the heights, perhaps commitment was a surrender to the dark abysses of death, madness, doubt, selfishness, and corruption.
Don't we always find a 'pitiful' side in our attachments that others don't see, a vulnerability that will always inspire compassion, even to those who hurt us the most?
No matter how strong, smart, beautiful, talented the people we are attached to seem to others, weren't we worried that something bad would happen to them because of their naivety, childhood, and weakness and trying to protect them?
No matter how weak and helpless our attachment to a person makes us
No matter how much it hurts us, don't we still sense a weaker and more helpless side to the person we are attached to than our own?
Isn't this what we usually intuited true?
I think strong bonds are strengthened by the great weaknesses in those we are attached to.
There is always a little pity in the great loves and great devotions, even when they make us sad or betray us, we worry for them despite our deep sorrow, thinking that what they did is due to their weakness. We are afraid of what will happen.
While others see their brightest side, we see their darkest side.
The strange whirlpool created by that radiance and that pitch-black darkness draws us in; WE COME TO THEIR SHINE, WE LOSE IN THEIR LONENESS.
...before I connect to someone
I'm afraid that I will suffer
once we get attached, we start to fear 'I wonder if he will suffer'; While our own sufferings seem tolerable to us, while we feel like we can endure any pain, we fear that they will not be able to bear any pain and that they will be crushed under their own pain.
...Why does a person become attached to another person?
Do we ourselves know why we are connected?
We find smart reasons for our feelings, but the real reason is hidden in boxes where the mind does not penetrate.
Why do the weaknesses in those hidden boxes attract us?
our own weakness? Or does the one who is attached sees himself as stronger than he is, does he believe that the person to whom he is attached cannot endure what he suffers; While attachment seems like a weakness, does the person who is attached feel his/her own strength in this commitment?
A beautiful strong weakness The darkness attracts us like an abyss of luminous blackness, it's not easy to take your eyes off once you bend over and look.
We cling to the dark, but to the bright and flaming ones.
such bright darkness can only be found in death, in depth, in betrayal and loneliness.
And while others marvel at their brilliance, we pity and are enslaved by the darkness.
That's why connecting separates us from other people.
In a garden where others gather and eat the fruits, we indulge ourselves in the intoxication of drinking the delicious and burning drinks obtained from the spoilage of those fruits, with the pleasure of discovering that drink and separating from the crowds.
When we are asked "why do we get attached to a person", we say "because we like drinks more than fruits".
The sooner you forget me, the sooner you will find happiness.
This intense sadness that grips my heart is perhaps a hidden feeling of abandonment peculiar to those who have left.
I miss you...
Separation makes my heart tingle...
Your longing is making my brain numb...
Even though we can't be together very often, I'm just beginning to understand how knowing that you're with me has warmed my heart all these years.
Your absence turns from being a pain that pierces my heart as it is remembered, to a permanent emptiness.
I miss the way they start the mornings by stroking you, the evenings when they put everything aside and meet you alone; our teasing, our snarls, our walks, your cute mischievousness, your childlike resentment...
How tough you were when you defended me against others; and how softly, with a pair of squinted eyes, as you let yourself be caressed by my hands... or as you jump into my arms when you undo your necklace...
When he was sick, we kept watch over him for days and nights in those terrible crisis nights... praying silently so that he could regain that joyful laughter...
Our joy was interrupted by the doctor, stroking the wounds on his tired body while celebrating the good news of "He survived":
"He can no longer live in this house... in the gray city of tall buildings and concrete walls," she said, "he must go... and make a new life for himself..."
Saying "Stay" to you even if you knew how hard you had to go...
How hard it is for you to know that your eternal happiness comes from forgetting me...
Seeing that we had to, even though I never wanted you to go, and saying "Go now" without telling you...
How hard it is for you to say "the sooner you forget me, the sooner you will find happiness"...
Taking my voice and smell from your brain, while your voice and smell are still in my brain...
... not seeing you and maybe asking you to look at me like a stranger when we meet years later...
... to make a promise to my heart that I have forbidden a new love...
... and then with my own hands, how hard it is to get you into the back seat of a foreign car, add all the summers we sunbathed together, all the winters we shivered side by side, all the pain we shared, all the laughter and all that distant greenery next to your tired body, and shed tears of regret behind your back...
... how hard it is to say "Get away from here and as far as you can go" to a driver I entrusted you without knowing it...
... waiting for your absence, how hard...
The more I think about it, the more I panic, sensing that she's cold somewhere far away right now. Abandoned streets, lonely streets overcoming all obstacles. I just want to reach you by walking the boulevards, caress your head silently, whisper words of love in your ear and cover you slowly...
I am saddened by the transformation of a past we share into a future we have lost.
In one of the evenings when I was secretly sad, I ran to you, feeling the fear of abandonment in the depths of my heart, to apologize for what I did and even more for what I couldn't do.
I want to say "Come back baby":
"Come back... your hut is waiting for you..."
The full moon in your lover's eyes is the reflection of the light in you.
“You are what you seek.
If you're after cruelty, you're cruel, if you're looking for love, you're in love.
Every lover we hold by the hand drags us on an expedition to the depths of our inner world.
Every relationship is an excavation in our selves, every love is another face of our soul...
In every love we seek ourselves; so what we find is our likenesses.
Put the pictures of your loved ones side by side and look carefully at their faces, your own face will look at you from their images...
When you put your eyes to the frosted glass of the kaleidoscope called love, you will see that a thousand and one glasses spin with colorful lights and weave different shapes each time. In each glass, you have a different color; a piece of you anyway...
Your loves are your essence.
Every man you love, every woman you admire reveals your different moods; do you turn the kaleidoscope once in a while, the glass pieces change places and take new shapes; all you...
The full moon in your lover's eyes is actually the reflection of the light in you; your inspiration in your tongue, your warmth in your skin...
Otherwise, you still have a loved one, it's because you haven't found yourself yet...
Love is narcissism.
Ourselves, what we seek and pursue in every love...
There are doors opening to ourselves in the compassion of taking shelter on a shoulder and the lust of chewing on a chest.
Turns our heads like a fun kaleidoscope that turns on different lights as it is turned.
And we are always looking for the old springs within us like a traveler who travels the world by following spring.
You know Narcissus:
She was so majestic and beautiful that she couldn't get enough of looking at herself... All day long, admiringly, she would stand in front of the mirror and watch her black eyes, thin nose, narrow hips, curly hair... One day, while she was walking by the river, her eyes fixed on her reflection in the water... He wanted to look. Just when he saw himself, he lost his balance and fell into the river, into the water...
Hearing that the most beautiful person on earth died, God turned him into a fragrant flower that blooms every spring so that he will not be forgotten.
Narcissus has become a daffodil.
Share the story, my advice to you, give a fresh daffodil to your lover today...
Then, wherever it is spring, say "I brought you spring" like a traveler who turns his route there and runs to the old springs within him, without forgetting that spring is in your hands...
When you look at the river in your eyes, you will see yourself; Be careful so you don't fall in love!
Don't fall and turn into a spring-scented flower...
I Want You!, not tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month, not next year, Now!
I want you... NOW!
I have not delayed any of my feelings. I didn't leave anything for later. Because I know there is no such thing as after. It is not my job to always dream about tomorrow and wait for the impossible to come.
Love defies time, but you can't resist it. You can't just stand there and wait for the future. You have to take a step, reach out a hand towards love. Isn't courage the key to love? Isn't it necessary to be brave to live a love, to grow a love? Calculate how many nights were spent alone...
How many nights were spent thinking about the next day. Think about what we could have done, what we could have experienced... We had to meet you every morning together. I could prepare her tired body with kisses for the new day. As soon as you opened your eyes, I would be the first thing you saw and you would see happiness in my face.
We could walk hand in hand in everyone, all over this city. There was no street we did not enter. I could hug and kiss you in the middle of the street regardless of the looks. We could scream a song even if we didn't know the lyrics. Then we could go to a movie, read a book, look at the sea, and watch a seagull fly after the ferries in order to grab a bite of bagel. Every moment we shared was etched in our brains, never to be seen again.
we missed each other madly. If we spent one hour alone, we would live the next hour for two hours. So what did we do to make up for that one hour we couldn't live? We put love on the back of a wait and only looked at it from afar. We condemned each other to live exiles when there was love at every moment, when we had to rediscover each other every day, when we had to be explorers on this path.
The time has come to put an end to this exile. I do not promise you peace, those who seek peace in love are mistaken. I am passionate, I am the spokesperson of the darkest, most insane love, I speak for them. I'm talking to melt away without thinking about anything in times that have no tomorrow.
I want to look you in the eyes and say I LOVE YOU. I want to get caught in the flow of love and go as far as you can go without any worries. I want to breathe in your scent and startle with the warmth of your skin. I want to add meaning to life with your name, find happiness and never lose it again.
I WANT YOU, not tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year,
NOW!
@heka
