@heartbeat1515 16 October 2023

Christians: Impossible to reject The kindness of a friend makes me happy. Sometimes I feel guilty about being cared for since I don't have much to give in return.

I kept working on my little crochet business but it has been slowing down a bit for now since I am busy completing my office unfinished task. I need to complete everything by the end of this week. Since the business is a bit down, I am grateful. for this friend who always buys me food and helps me with a few more things that I need. I don't know the reason for me to deserve that kindness and it felt a bit scary. Scared of losing this friend, scared of being too dependent. I have been living without my husband for more than a year now and this friend reminds me a lot of my husband. My husband used to be as kind as this friend and yet he lost it all to his selfish desire. I still think that it is all because of my incompetence, weakness, and imperfections as his wife. If I was a good wife, perhaps he did not choose the road he is on right now. Coming back to the friend I was saying at the beginning, I thought this friend had stopped being too kind when I asked for and yet, yesterday I got lunch again. I was planning to do some intermittent fasting while I do not have much budget to spend on extra food but then God does not seem to allow it since God gave me this wonderful friend. Thinking back as I am writing this blog. It must be for a reason. What will the reason be? I guess I just need to keep living to find the answer someday.