@heartbeat1515 17 July 2022

Meaningless The brightness of the day The darkness of night Everything becomes meaningless for a while. Painful thoughts, Unstable emotions, Deep loneliness, Haunting the consciousness left in mind.

A smile can cover the sadness inside but it does not cure it. All that is left is loneliness. They said you should learn to let go. I believe I am letting go but why am I still feeling extremely hurt inside. Unable to run away from the disappointment I have inside, I strive to make my days beautiful so my daughter can have a good life. I am still far from my purpose in life. I believe I will achieve all of it someday. My estimation is 9 years. She will be able to understand by that time.

I will have someone to talk to again. We will be having a good life together and I will not be lonely anymore. To have someone to understand, guide, and drag me forward when I cannot even stand on my leg. I was hoping for that time to come quickly but I also do not want to miss any special occasion in our life. I have ruined mine but I will make sure to do my best to give her the best I can.