Connecting Generations
As I made my way home from the Seattle Library, the living cold slush was forming small puddles at my feet. It was one after the death of December 1940. I came to America a short while ago. Under my jacket was the book called Yeğil Damların Anne. I was getting this book from the library for the third time.
Although my English was not very good, I wanted to know how Anne was able to adapt to the new environment she was entering. His life was like a reflection of my new life in America.
My sub-world was just like these dim, gloomy streets. The little lights of the Christmas trees visible through the windows reminded me that tonight was the first day of Hanukkah. I stopped and thought about past Hanukkah nights and my now dismembered family, leaning on one of the streetlights.
Suddenly I was back to our apartment in Vienna. My parents, with a long beard My grandfather Mendel, with his blue silk clothes and pearl box, my grandmother Tova, did his hair make a bun? cousin Berta, all together silver? We were gathered around Hanukiya. My great-grandfather, a silver craftsman in Poland, made this Hanukiya for the dream of his eldest daughter. For generations, it illuminated my family's Hanukkah celebrations. This Hanukiya symbolized not only the victory of the Maccabees, but also the invincibility of their Judaism and the continuation of our family.
A hundred years later, six thousand miles away, I was filled with peace when I thought about the silver embroidery of Hanuki, recalling those sweet roses, rare leaves, and fragile branches.
A truck suddenly passed in front of me, soaking my trousers and interrupting my dreams. "Where did everything go?" I murmured to myself.
But I knew where everything was going. My grandfather was arrested on Crystal Night and sent to Dachau and killed there. My grandmother died of a heart attack shortly after the Nazis raided their apartment and patched their shops. Berta was captured by the British while trying to reach Palestinian land illegally, and sent to a prison camp. What about Hanukiya? The fate of Hanuki was still a mystery, as it was forbidden to take out any valuable handicrafts from the country.
It was getting dark when I got home. My father came back from the synagogue and my mother was peeling potatoes. She set aside one of the potatoes and started crushing the others. When I asked why he was taking a potato, he said to me, "This will be our Hanuki."
I shook my vineyard from side to side with sadness. With so many unique people and values missing from my life, that amazing family heirloom was replaced by a potato? Was this one of the new traditions in our new country? My mother punched two holes on both sides of the potato and placed the candles in them. Just as my father lit the second candle, the door knocked. When we opened the door, the postman handed my father a large package, said "Private mail", "Can you sign here?"
The package was covered with foreign scales. It was coming from Palestinian land. There was neither a name nor an address about the sender on the package. We were all overwhelmed. Who sent us a package from the Holy Land? could it be Excitedly, we opened the package. The first thing we saw was a letter to my parents. My father opened the letter in German and read it aloud:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Schiffman,
Ms. Schiffman's mother died of a heart attack after the Nazis raided her apartment. The apartment clerk then entered the house and found a package hidden in the closet. The attendant was a Christian who knew the family. He took the peketi and gave it to Berta, who was going to the Palestinian land. On the ship to Haifa, Berta told me the whole story. We understood that if the British caught any of us, the other should mail the package to the address inside. After reaching Haifa, I was saved with Hagana's help. I had tremendous difficulties connecting. Therefore, I regret to state that I forgot the package. Yesterday I found the package again. Please excuse me for this delay.
Yours sincerely,
Berta's Friend
The three of us opened the package with curiosity and excitement. A black and white horse feather pillow, wrapped in newspapers, emerged from him. While my mother was taking it out of the box, we all wondered why the pillow, for which Berta was taking great risks, was so important. My father inspected, even sniffed and pressed the pillow all over it. It stopped suddenly.
He said, "Quick, Martha, can you get the scissors?" Mom found the sewing box and gave my dad the little scissors. My father carefully began to unstitch the stitches on one side of my fabric. Straw spilled from the pillow, and my father dipped his hand and took out the familiar Hanukiya, still shining brightly from the pillow!
I could hardly control myself. Our beautiful Hanuki had returned to our house just in time on the first day of Hanukkah. For a moment, we were all frozen. Then we all started talking in unison. How did he get out of Austria? Who could have risked his life to get this out of the country? In the pillow that Berta hid
We thought about it. He must have taken it to the border by train, then he was able to get on the ship. Later, he wanted to make sure that if he could not continue with his goal, someone else would complete it.
My father put Hanukiya on the table and placed the two candles on the potato where they should be, Hanukiya. He lighted? but? and sang? ehehiyanu Beraha in front of the Hanukkah candles. When he started to announce his acquittal for the first night, me and my mother happily joined him. For me, the prayer we said that night spoke much more than the conjunction of Hanukkah. The prayer was also sung for the miracle that tied me to my roots. I felt the feelings of hope blossoming in my face. I could think more positively. For the first time in a long time, life did not seem blurry. Something valuable had come back to me again. It was a special symptom that it reached us ...
**Today, that silver Hanukiya is standing in our dining room. My elder son David knows that one day Hanukiya will stop at his home, then at his daughter Anna and the other generations that followed. We all know that flickering candles will forever symbolize both the continuity of our family and the unquenchable flame of Judaism ....**
Normalization Process and the Psychology of Going Out
Of course, all of us, especially myself and my family, were affected by this pandemic in different ways. Some of us continued to work outside during long working hours. Some of us have tried to adapt to our home-office routine for the first time. Some of us were more psychologically affected during this process and even received psychologist or psychiatrist support, therapy. Undoubtedly, we all felt the impact of the pandemic, from seven to seventy.
However, with the decrease in the number of cases, life is gradually normalizing. We are slowly starting to return to our old routines. Some of us have even returned. However, there are some things we should talk about and be aware of about this normalization process. Are we ready to go out? Is there a psychology of going out? We often talk about normalization. How should our new normal be? How can we prepare ourselves for this normal?
Most of us have the same questions in these days when we stay at home and rarely take the streets; How will the normalization process be? How will our lives and work environments be affected? Will people still be able to travel on crowded subways with peace of mind? Will we be able to go to restaurants and eat carefree again? When will we be able to return to crowded office buildings when we can work from Zoom at the computer?
There is a term we often cite on the agenda right now. "Our new normal." As the number of cases decreases, we talk about returning to normal, but this "normal" is not always what we are used to. There are a few things we should pay attention to in our new normal. The most prominent of them are social distance and wearing a mask. I would like to mention a few things about the difficulties encountered in the face of these new habits that we need to acquire.
**Social Distance Rule**
In the normalization process, we continue to keep a social distance of 1.5 meters between us and people in order to prevent the transmission of Corona and protect ourselves. Maybe we've never experienced this before. Moreover, as a friendly society, we actually love to be together, to shake hands and hug. However, we need to be careful to protect ourselves and others. As long as we act according to the rules, we should think that this process will pass in a short time and we should get this motivation.
It is important to have social distance between us and people, but there is another aspect that needs to be discussed. We need to make this distance in a controlled and calm manner. We must keep calm and not panic. We encounter quite a lot in therapy sessions. People can complain about worries such as "what if I get caught in the corona" after going out. Even if they have taken the necessary precautions, they are afraid of getting caught in the corona. It should not be forgotten that there is nothing to worry about after you calmly protect yourself with the necessary and appropriate precaution.
**The Psychology of Wearing a Mask**
Another hot topic for our new normal is to wear a mask. Wearing a mask has become a necessity in order to reduce the risk of corona contamination. Some Asian countries, though in a situation quite common and customary to wear a mask, so this situation is not familiar to Western countries and Turkey. Therefore, we are trying to adapt to this new routine. Some people have no difficulty wearing a mask, while others state that they have difficulties in this situation. There are several reasons for this.
Individuals may think that wearing a mask limits freedom and comfort. In the face of this situation, the presence of the mask disturbs them very much and they can even say that they are contracted. However, there is another interesting reason why we have difficulty wearing masks. We have a strong psychological tendency to see people's facial expressions. This trend is actually an evolutionary impulse that we have acquired. When we look at people's faces, we can make inferences about what is going on in their minds, which makes us feel safer.
Wearing a mask during the normalization process is unfamiliar to us and it is the first time we encounter it. We may find it difficult to get used to this situation. It will be helpful not to grapple with a mask in times of difficulty, to think that its presence is beneficial for us and to accept it. Don't struggle with the thought of wearing a mask. This can make the adjustment process difficult. Maybe it makes you relax, maybe you constrict, maybe you don't feel comfortable .. Just leave these thoughts as they are.
This will be good for your adjustment process. Also, when we look at a recent study, we see an interesting result. In this study, it is seen that as the number of people wearing masks in the society increases, other people accept wearing masks more easily and begin to feel less uncomfortable. Beep-blop! Let's tip! So maybe you can remind yourself that you feel uncomfortable and that you are not alone and that many people are trying to wear masks along with you. Who knows, maybe you can inspire others to wear masks with your mask.
**Normalization Process and the Psychology of Going Out**
When we consider the first emergence date of the coronavirus, we find ourselves in a period that we have never experienced in our lives for about two months. We are afraid of catching the virus when we go out, we try to take many precautions such as trying to maintain our social distance with people and wearing masks. Actually, we can say that we almost got used to a new routine. As such, the normalization process may scare us a little. This is a very natural process. We are trying to adapt again.
Even before this epidemic broke out, activities such as being on public transport, using the subway, and being close to people on buses were perhaps difficult and worrying situations for some of us. After the corona process, these situations may have become even more anxious. Or it may be causing you anxiety to think that you are doing these activities now, when you normally wouldn't worry. Without realizing the rate of exposure to Corona Virus, many of us can fear being sick or the possibility of something happening to us from this disease. This can cause us to maintain our social life with great anxiety and even to exhibit avoidant behaviors. When we look at all these situations, we can actually mention that even going out on the street has a psychology in the current period. It is possible to say that going out on the street is not only a physical activity, but also a psychological activity.
Award Receivable Fraud Story
**This scam story is an old story I heard from an old uncle before.** When I explained the details of the story and even the intermittent conversations, I hesitated whether he was the one who was defrauded, but I did not dare to ask him this question because I did not want to be rude. Still, I was astounded after listening and I had never forgotten this story ever since. Because this story; Besides being a true story that we see on the news every night and then react awkwardly like “ **did they do that too**”, it will make you think that fraud is a fundamental craft.
A man who owns a grocery store told the wholesaler that he wanted to buy eight sacks of sugar. Moreover, he did not neglect to bargain over his normal price. When the bargain was over and the job came to pay, he said, "I have a grocery store in such and such a place, I'll take money from the cash register and pay it when I lower the sweets." The wholesaler is also accustomed to such situations and men, as they supply dozens of markets and groceries every day. Just as the man had no suspicious attitude, there was no unusual situation for the wholesaler. Thereupon, the wholesaler called an uncle who sent small goods to the grocery stores with his boat motor and provided his daily income with the transportation business.
**"Your uncle friend has eight sacks of sugar. When you download the load to the engine, come and get our money".** Since the wholesaler was constantly doing business with this biker uncle, he had confidence in him. Even when the customer got away a little, he secretly warned the biker uncle again. **"Do not download the product without taking the money, uncle!** He said, **"We will give you half of it, if it says things like there is no money or something, you can take our sugar."** Uncle biker said okay and loaded the candies on his boat motor. In short, there was no abnormal or confusing situation. Get the sugar, get the money, come, if there is no money, get the sugar, that's all.
Before long, the biker uncle set out with the man. After a while, they came to the man's market. The man who bought the candies said that we will get off the engine and lower the candies here. The biker uncle did as the man said and put eight sacks of sugar on the sidewalk in front of the market. Later, the man entered the market, saying "let me look at this guy and bring the money for the sugar".
Biker uncle started to wait at the beginning of the candy at that time. The wholesaler advised firmly, our biker uncle thought that I would take the money and go. The man who came out of the market at that time: “Uncle, many people ask that there are no vegetables left in our market. Let's go with you and buy a couple of cases of tomato and cucumber. When I return, I will give you whatever the cost of the sugar and your shipping cost will be paid, ”he said. The biker uncle, who hesitated for a short time, thought that I know the market, I know the man as well, and accepted this offer of the man, saying that it is business.
This time the biker uncle and the man went to buy vegetables. The man left to buy tomatoes, cucumbers and come back, but he did not return for hours. Uncle biker left after waiting for a long time and returned to the market. When he came to the market, he thought that since he could not see the sugar sacks he had put down on the sidewalk, they carried it to the shop. Then he got off his engine and entered the market. Uncle started to speak after the salute. I downloaded sugar here and I was going to get his money…
**Before he even explained his problem fully, the shopkeeper understood what was going on. No, I do not know the man you mentioned, uncle. When he said that I have been running this grocery store for years, his biker uncle finally realized that he was defrauded. There was neither sugar, nor money for sugar, nor a man.**
@gregoriodare45
