@feelings

@feelings 6 April 2021

Envying my younger self who assures me that I am wiser I flip the hourglass and a flash of the past has gone thru my memory. I'm dazed by the tears that roll down my cheeks. I wipe the moisture off with my own two hands as I slowly close my eyes while I let out a deep sigh. I've been envious of my younger self that I sometimes resort to koreanovelas just to satisfy my dried up emotions. I am not complaining but feelings are feelings. How we act on it is what matters. And life must be lived as it should and no one can go back to the past. We march on forward and not backwards. Up the hills of goals, down the steep mountains of struggles, on the vast ocean of life, we do all we can to live another day, even if it means sacrificing our pleasures. I brush my hair and look at the mirror. I search for my bag and my fingers touch for the red lipstick. I love the tinge of rose on my lips and I feel sexy wearing it. But then, life struck hard that I am brought back to reality. I thought, "I've lived a good youth and I'm happy with it." True enough, we gracefully surrender our youth to the wisdom we gain as we grow old and older. I move forward. I review my list of things to do, my plans and my diary. Somehow I appreciate the wisdom I gain as I age. I've opened the message of one of my seniors and she is asking me to join her with financial consultation. I gladly accepted and we scheduled our zoom meeting. Such is a financial advisor who does things wonderfully. I'm very much ready to listen and take note of all financial lessons she will be giving me. It's free of charge. Reminiscing the past makes me realize how far I've travelled. My first taste of wine, first taste of love, my first taste of success, and every first I've experienced has been the greatest milestones to the achievement I am enjoying as of today. We all have regrets like not marrying the one we first gave our hearts into, or not grabbing the opportunity of scholarship that came knocking at our door, or not sticking to our job years before. But they all gave us valuable lessons which we may pass to our descendants. I listen to people's voices. Here and there you see sparkles that has either left or stayed with a person. Some are satisfied while others long so much for what they've lost that it begin to consume their souls. I've heard so many stories but one thing remains the same--we all have our own stories to tell. *As the hourglass starts to measure the passage of time, so does the memories start piling up until all that we are today are remnants of the past.* I'm envious of my youth but my youth made sure I had something to look back to when I'm made forlorn and desolate. My younger self tells me stories bout my life and how I live it. And life becomes colorful as it should! We just need to allow moments to take over sometimes... *Image in this article is a free image on Unsplash.*

@feelings 6 April 2021

feelings Feelings range from physical sensation of touch to subjective experience of emotion. Sometimes we feel happy, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, and many more. When we touch something, we feel the warmth of body thru our skin, or the rough surface of our walls, or yet the moist eyes of our beloved who cried a river. Feeling for me is an excellent indication that we are alive. Without feelings, sometimes we say that a person is emotionally dead. Or has come to terms with the coldness of the world. I wish to tell you that I've been happy dwelling on this earth. For 30+ years I may say I've felt almost all there is to feel. If I ever went close to 'almost all.' There's this sweet feeling I wanted to revive in my memory. And in that memory there was 'you.' Yes, you, whoever you are. And in those sweet moments I've learned the meanings of sadness, of loneliness, of rejection, and many more. Yet in the midst of all mixed feelings there is still those good feelings. But 'you' are a 'variable', and not a constant. We enjoy being with not only one person, not two, but many others. And in the changing situations, circumstances, even statuses, we learn to feel the joy of being able to adjust with others. We eat food with them and hear their stories of lives. And we begin to wonder more for our very own lives as well. Feelings! We have it! And we feel alive because of it! Yes! Let's feel the keyboard as we begin typing for life! A toast for all our feelings. :-)