@dropout 9 October 2022 more from that month

Living the unreal realm of life The life I have let go... I am living it now. In dreams, in fantasies. I have no qualms. I have let it go when it was real. Now I just have an option--to dream and be content with it. Like a butterfly, I let it flutter away. I didn't know. I was so young. But what might it have been anyway. But then it may have been a paradise. Of flowers and happiness. Whatever it may have been, let me just still live as if I am happy in memories and imagination. But life is more than the past. The realm of life could also be extended to the unreal. And I usually go to the other side. To live a life that let me smile. From time to time I get it real. When I go on an afternoon walk. And kiss the sun, the clouds, and the sky... When I have coffee in a restaurant with a view of a fair sky. And I sip my coffee gradually until I feel I am happy enough to go home... When I have an unexpected good night's sleep and I wake up rested and we'll... When I get a flood of words in my mind that I feel like I were a poet... When I go to work and someone offers to make me a cup of coffee... And many more... When I experience such, I feel like they are so unreal that I feel content I get to experience them. I feel grateful. Despite the wars of this world, I get to smile and walk happily. The life I have let go, is nothing but a fantasy as well. I may just think it is a good life I have let slip but who knows who knows...

May I sing? "I have died everyday waiting for you..." Just that. Just that part. I want to sing it. Yes, I have died everyday waiting for something I know I won't have until I take action to make happen. Indeed, nothing is for free... We have to pay effort to be able to attain something that we want. I am changing my first sentence. I did not let go of the life I may have had. But I just didn't make effort to keep it.