Being Different doesn't mean being Weird
Social adaptation, adapting to our surroundings and acting like them, can cause some behaviors to become common, even "normal". This is why being different can sometimes make you look strange. However, being different does not mean being weird. Let's see what science has to say about this...
No one wants to be seen as weird or abnormal. But according to Yale University's Holmes, abnormal behavior is not necessarily weird, bad or a sign of mental illness, because there is no absolute definition of normal or one way to behave well.
Just because "everyone does it" or "everyone says it" doesn't make it better. In an article published in the 2018 issue of Trends in Cognitive Sciences, Holmes notes that there are many different kinds of human behavior, and each behavior can be positive or negative depending on the circumstances. The direction a behavior takes can vary depending on many factors. These factors include the environment or personal circumstances in which the behavior is exhibited.
Popular ways of thinking or behaving are not necessarily ethical, right or better than others. Just because "everyone is doing it" or "everyone is saying it" does not make it better. And not every behavior that is outside the norm is necessarily indicative of a mental illness or disorder. Holmes also builds on the diversity of people to argue that positive and negative behaviors serve an important purpose. For example, differences in the area of the brain that controls inhibitions can result in thrill-seeking, impulsive behavior. This can manifest itself as addiction, criminal behavior, hypersexuality. On the other hand, the same difference can also result in high motivation, high social success and productivity.
Holmes' research also provides examples of how a problem like anxiety, which many people struggle with today, can have positive or negative consequences depending on the circumstances. A person who is driven by anxiety may have more difficulty in personal relationships and social situations than many others. On the other hand, anxiety can be a motivator for greater success at work or school, or it can prevent serious accidents through a tendency to take precautions.
Instead of feeling strange or abnormal, focus on the fact that these behaviors can have positive outcomes depending on the circumstances. At this point, the question arises: In which cases are abnormal behaviors indicative of a psychological disorder?
The answer is actually quite complex. Holmes' research argues that there is no single model of good behavior, that we should not seek a uniform and homogenized behavior, and that there is no such thing as ideal behavior. Returning to the original question, Holmes argues that psychological, neurological, genetic and environmental conditions should be investigated in order for abnormal behavior to be an indicator of a psychological disorder.
In short, instead of feeling strange or abnormal, focus on the positive consequences of these behaviors and look for those positive consequences.
When individuals find themselves in situations that support their brain function, even abnormal behavior can open the door to success.
No one saw that he came from another world
He was old, orphaned. His illness was getting worse. He knew he was going to die soon.
He couldn't walk. His hands and feet were swelling and his chest was getting very tight. So he could neither breathe nor walk. When he walked 10 meters, he was out of breath and felt the need to rest because he had no strength left in his legs. He had no money to go to the doctor. Even if he had, he would not have gone anyway. Since he loved to drink a lot, he would surely spend that money on alcohol.
He used to be quite fat. But now he had become thin because he didn't eat regularly. Day by day he was collapsing and melting away.
The doctor had forbidden smoking and drinking alcohol. But he stubbornly kept a cigarette on his lips and a bottle in his pocket.
He had no home. He was staying in a tiny, unhealthy, ramshackle, unpainted, unplastered, damp room. This was a place that had been converted from a shop. A house did not look like a house, a shop did not look like a shop.
He was alone. All alone. He had no wife, no children, no relatives. That's why he became carefree, sorrowless, hopeless. There was nothing he expected, nothing he wanted. He was going to die anyway. Why should he make this world miserable for himself? What would he do if he had a mattress, a pillow, a blanket, a feather bed, a quilt? The neighbors were bringing him soup, food and bread, what more could he ask for? What would happen if he lived in a palace or a mansion? After all, didn't everyone have the same end? Wouldn't everyone who lived die one day?
One day, he left his room to go to the coffee house. He moved with very slow steps. A normal person would have reached the coffee house in 5 minutes. It took him 15 minutes, but he only reached the neighbor's door. The coffeehouse was still far away. He was out of breath, tired, exhausted. He couldn't move, he couldn't walk, he couldn't move forward. He collapsed there. He stayed there until the neighbor's son saw him. He didn't even realize how long he was there. It was as if time had stopped. Time didn't pass.
When he opened his eyes, he found himself in the hospital. He saw a nurse dressed in white clothes. She was taking his blood pressure. The nurse said to him: "Don't move uncle, stay still. Open your arm." If she hadn't said that, he would have thought he was dead. Because when he saw the nurse in white clothes, he thought he was in heaven. But he was in the hospital. The neighbor's son had immediately intervened and brought him to the hospital. But what was the need for that? If he had rested there for 10 minutes, he would have been fine. He would come to his senses and get up and leave. Now, needles, medicines, IV drips and pills... Who was going to bear all this?
Soon the nurse girl left too. She was alone again. His eyes seemed to close for a while. But she had no intention of sleeping. She wanted to think. He wanted to forget all his present suffering and remember the happy days of the past.
He turned and looked back: He saw his wife. Indeed, he had a wife once. She was married. They had children.
He thought about his children? How many children did he have? How many girls, how many boys? And where were they now? Why weren't they with him? Why was she always alone?
His eyes traveled further back. He remembered his youth. He thought of the days when he had money, when everyone called him "King". Didn't every person in trouble, every person in distress run to him? Didn't every hungry person, every penniless person find him? Didn't he come to him every time someone was in trouble, every time someone had a headache, every time someone had a job? Didn't he take care of them all? Most importantly, didn't he get along well with his family? How good he was. They were happy.
So, where are all those who ran after him now? Where are his loyal friends? Where are the people he used to hold by the hand, handle his affairs, cure his troubles?
He hadn't eaten a morsel of bread for days. He was just sick. Why didn't anyone call and ask. Didn't they know he was sick? Of course they all knew. Then why didn't someone come to say "Get well soon"? Did something come up?
And where were his wife and children? Why weren't they with him? Why was he alone?
Hadn't his wife left him years ago? Hadn't she left with his children?
"It is unfair," he thought. But to whom was this injustice? To himself or to his family? Maybe his wife was right to leave him. "Ah!" he said to himself. "May he be blinded by drinking and gambling." Wasn't it all because of them? Hadn't he lost all his wealth at the tables of gambling and drinking?
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