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@carisdaneym2 edited more from that month

Finding my Ataraxia

The images that represent my temperament. This kind of realm that has a lot of crusades is not easy to withstand and we cannot tell if we can survive just by trying to survive. We usually do things that can help us to find our inner peace and follow where our hearts lead us to. As I was saying, the reasons behind the pictures I uploaded are not just a photo to show by everyone and for you to know that is one of my methods to express how I really feel when things are getting rough. Thinking why the world is unfair for some people but how do you know? They might have a lot of money but they also have some struggles in life so I cannot really tell that the world is unfair. You're lucky to have your parents, some are not. You're lucky that you are still alive.

***Let me breathe and drink.*** ***Let me write and think.*** ***Let me try to blink.*** ***Find the reason why It's a sink.***

I am clouded with my emotion, thinking why do you need to say that in front of many people. I will write again and again for the reason that I cannot scream it all. She's in pain and I am too. Sorry for not being a daughter as you *wanted me to be. I'm trying, and trying and trying again. It's hard for me and you. I'm emotional and you are too. We're kinda same you know, of course, you're my mom.* This is what happens when you are close-minded and not ready to listen to others. This is making me feel miserable. I'm tired. Tired. Tired. Pain is real. I'm emotionally, mentally, physically and financially drained. Let me get some strength to fight against my battle.

This flower reminds me of myself, some may look at you like you're not worth it to live and some will look in repugnance. But hey, do not forget that some people can see how beautiful you are and they didn't look at physical appearance but the beauty you have inside your soul. *I cannot show my love for you with money... I don't have that yet. I will be successful someday, I'm claiming it, can you wait for that to happen?* Aaahhhhh I ignored my studies today, I need to analyse her situation. She really hates us as she revealed. So why bought some gifts for amiga instead of saving it? Why took some loan when you can't afford to pay for it? Why buying unnecessary things when you can save them? I cannot explain it to her because she will gonna say I'm a rude and useless child again. I don't have the money yet, we need to make a plan mom so we can be successful together. *Please hear us. Understand us too. We need you and your understanding. Please cooperate. :(((*

You know, you can't solve the problems if you will ignore them and walk away. You can't compare us with others, we are visualizing better for our future. You cannot dictate what we should and shouldn't. We are not perfect daughters and you are not a perfect mother. But we need to understand each other, money is not everything we need. :((( *You can't measure our love with money. It's priceless mom. It's priceless. Stop making me feel terrible. Don't walk away, We have a better plan. Just wait. We're still in the process.*

As we accept our good and bad characteristics, as we understand each other and work together. Isn't it beautiful that despite that, we manage to make it wonderful? Happy happy Mother's Day to you Mom, everyday.

A place like this where I can find my peace of mind. Look above and share the story that I have, why do I have to experience this kind of life. And there is one question in my mind, what's the purpose of my life? Will continue beyond... *I was tired, then I took a rest... I got tired again then took a rest.. Little did I know, I don't need to rest because what I need is peace. I am living in a peaceful province but not in a peaceful shelter. They admired how it looks like beautiful but the person who captured it was falling into a place that she wanna stay, still looking for ataraxia for a long time yet there is still no progress. Just letting the teardrops fall to lift the heaviness of the burden in her heart. She is tired that doesn't need a rest, she is tired and she wanted some peace in her heart.* **Author's Note:** Photos are all mine. Thank you for reading, God bless!

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