@bbghitte 18 December 2020 more from that month

Friday musing

I am waiting for my turn here in my OB and surprisingly there are a lot of pregnant and some are too young. Oh well, who am I to judge them right? I am here not because I am pregnant too but because there is something I felt in my right breast. It's my follow-up check-up from Wednesday, the doctor says it's not something that I need to worry about and I don't feel anything that would really make me scared. But of course to have a peace of mind and for health purposes I need to stay healthy so I could still watch my daughter's journey until she reach her dream. Back to my musing, with all these moms besides me I am curious about how many kids do they have already, how they look like after their check-up and how excited they are. Although we are not allowed to have a conversation as part of the clinic's protocols, what I do is to eavesdrop while the nurse is interviewing them. This mommy caught my attention, she's in her mid 30's already. She is not yet sure if she's pregnant or not but her period is delayed for 2 months already. During her interview, she narrated that she already have 2 miscarriage both happened this year. Aw, my heart skipped a bit after hearing that. I wonder how a mother would feel after experiencing such a heart breaking moment. I think I felt nauseous already after eavesdropping one mother into another. It's like a roller coaster of emotions, I don't know if I can still bear hearing all these. How much pain could a mother endure, how much tears need to roll, how many heartbreaks does she need to feel over and over again. How can someone sleeps tightly at night and how much faith she must have. They are actually admirable because amidst all these, they are still here welcoming another blessing into their lives. I myself would not know how to feel and would overcome such painful experience and would not want to experience it in the future. Then I saw this lantern swaying freely into the air, it's like a breather from all the stories that I have heard today. That made me realize how each one of us must deal with pain and trials; that it's okay to cry and mourn because of course were only human. God took these angels definitely for a good reason. We may not see it clearly now but it's for our good for sure. God allows us to feel these pain not to break us but to strengthen us, to show His love for us and to reveal His glory. ....^•°... Thanks for reading and God bless us all! Keep inspiring. Keep smiling. XOXO, bbghitte