@alicecalope 24 January 2022 edited more from that month

Talking about Anxiety

**Blog No. 15-January 25,2022** Anxiety is common for people who experience traumatic experience in life. I never knew that I already experienced anxiety attack before until the the time someone talk to me about her condition. They called it "gikabuhi" in our dialect. At first I thought it was just like the normal "gikabuhi" that I know but then she told me that she felt that way because of over thinking. Then I realized that it's anxiety attack. It's something that triggers her mind. She also had a cousin who experienced anxiety because of over thinking. Her cousin lose weight and can't sleep well because of her anxiety.

Way back year 2012 when I was still living at my grand mother's house. I was living in a house in between a little jungle. No other houses is there. The place is so quiet and peaceful. You will only hear the birds singing or the noises of the chickens. I live with my daughter, my Nanay (grandma) and my uncle. My uncle is mentally retarded. As what I knew he skip one meal or napasmo in our term when he was in grade 2 and after that he lost in his own state of mind. Nanay tried to bring my yoyo(uncle) to a Quak doctor hoping that my yoyo will get better but there's no improvement at all. My yoyo gets irritated so easily. Small things can trigger his anxiety. Just like when someone shouted at him he will over react to it and will start to be mad. There was a time that I feed our two puppies with pork bones. He was so mad at me, he kept on telling me what if I'll be the one to be feed with those bones and die. I understand him. He was afraid that our puppies will be dead just like our dog who eaten a chicken bones and the bones got stuck on his throat. Few days after our dog died. I tried to explain to my yoyo that pork bones is different from the chicken bones but of course he will never understand me so I just stop arguing with him as I know I will never win. He kept on talking to me about the pork bones but I don't want to answer him back so I just plugged in my headphones and listen to music just to ignore what he was trying to say. Eventually he will stop talking if no one listens to him.

Another scenario when our two puppies poop the bed of my daughter. I ask my Yoyo if why he allowed the puppies to get inside our house and he told me he wanted to pee outside and when he open the door the puppies goes in. I told him why he didn't take the puppies outside. He just answered me saying that what I want him to do is to pee inside. Well there's no point of arguing to a person like him but I was really pisssed off that time. It happened early in the morning.

Anyway back to my own experience about Anxiety. I was washing my laundry that time when I started to hear a lot of different voices on my ears. Honestly I don't really know what they're trying to say. I was like I am not even thinking of anything but who are they. So I tried to talk like hey then the voices is gone. I was afraid that time why all those voices are bugging me. So every time I hear those voices I will get my phone and I will play Christian songs and I will start singing too. Voices are gone after doing that. I just tried to divert my attention so I won't hear those voices again. Upon writing this article I shared to a friend of mine that I am writing about Anxiety and I told about my experience and then she told me that her brother also experience what I experience. Her brother wanted to be just alone. He just kept staying on his room. His brother said that he always hear voices telling him to jump off the building. It's quite alarming as the voices he heard was trying to hurt him. But his brother is okay now. He was busy helping his sisters business.

I also experience anxiety when I had to stop working due to the Covid Lockdown in our place. I was 6 months pregnant that time. I never use to just stay home. My husband was still working in a construction company that time until he decided to stop working because his job was to tough and their salary is always delayed. I never know how we will survive that time. ***That starts my anxiety attack again. I was over thinking. What will happen to us now? We both don't have work. We need to pay our monthly bills like electric, water bills and our monthly amortization of our motorcycle. We need to buy our daily need***s. Before I got married I never used to just stay at home as I work mostly 7days a week and I only take a day off when it's needed or if it's my daughter's birthday or it's my birthday. After I had my first born and been a single mom. My life is all about working hard so I can provide the needs of my daughter. I can't sleep well at night been thinking about what will happen to us. My husband don't have a job and how we will be able to survive. It was 3 months to go before I will gave birth but we still don't have any savings at all. I was just so lucky that my cousin /my boss lend me money enough to cover my expenses for my upcoming giving birth. My boss knows that I will receive a money from my maternity benefits that's why she let me lend some money. ***In Closing Thoughts*** We all experienced difficulties in our life. Anxiety is quite common but not a lot of people knows that they already experienced it. How about you readcashers do you know someone who experienced anxiety too?

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