@abrilata 25 May 2025 edited

Finally here

**She said, 'I'll stay,' and I didn't fully understand it when she first held my hand, assuring me that I didn't need to worry about anything else. 'Trust me,' she added. 'Trust me.'** But I never listened." I am searching for something else—a love that others will accept. Blinded by what they said was right, I tried again. I gave my heart and accepted what they offered, but I feel so hollow. I feel so incomplete. This is supposed to be the right thing to do, yet why does it feel like it's not the right thing for me? feeling all the tears dripping down my face, carrying the burden of lies I have said to someone. I am thinking what did I do wrong? I know for a fact that I am just trying to be like everyone else, I am just trying to fit in, so I won't face judgements and be safe for prying eyes. But the pain I'm feeling is greater and I can't find happiness at all. Love landed on me all of a sudden, and they rejoiced, saying,*'Open your heart, just open your heart*.' But how can I do it when it doesn't feel like love in the first place? Yes, I felt the butterflies, I felt the heartbeats, the temporary comfort—but it doesn't fit mine. I can try, but I know deep inside I am looking for the love I have missed for a long, long time. I gave it a chance to sit. Entertained it, listened to what it had to offer. I welcomed it with open arms and accepted it with the hope that one day it would grow, and that one day I could finally feel what I was supposed to feel. Yet again, I failed. I tried my best to believe it was the love that everyone talks about, but why doesn't it feel like it's supposed to? *Why it doesn't feel like hers?* I am stepping out, I needed to clear my mind. But why does this road is taking me home? My heart led me here, to where she sits each day, waiting for my return. She welcomes me without question or remorse as to why am I keep on leaving, offering the same love, Her warmth surrounds me. I look around, and everything is as it was—unchanged, yet deeply familiar. Here, I find the love I've been searching for my whole life; here, I find peace. I asked her “why?”. With the same eyes that sees who I really am, she replied “*I am not sure if you’re coming back, But I am certain that love will find me here,- and now you’re here.”* . . . . . . . . When she said she'd stay, I didn't realize she meant it for a lifetime