@abrilata 21 September 2021

Not even Deja Vu

The Intangible relic She just vacated. Many time passed by And her life goes wasted. See how she lost --- lonely offspring. Alone, waiting, and finding for something. For the piece of soul to be renewed There's nothing left for the ingenue. Her eyes are full of wonder While staring at the horizon. Wanting to go yonder. Carrying all left emotion. A little girl who is beside me Cut into shred soul and her plea "*bring me back she said"* Her voice is shaking as if her life is full of storms and rain. I feel her spirit; I feel her suffer from the pain. She is naïve, moving in a world she didn't even know. My heart was stunned as I watched her go. I cry to the deepest, is this what I should see? A girl begging for the return of her soul The girl who else but me. I know there's something left unfixed before Bring me back before I tore. Bring me back to the way I used to be. I'm scared, for I AM now Is not ME. I want to go back to the past before I broke. Before I turn to ash and smoke. But there's no way back. No bridges, no seas, neither key nor lock. and I hope someday I could accept the fact. That- not even Deja Vu can bring me back. 2:00am : Deja Vu is an illusion and feeling that you have already experienced the things that is happening now I wrote this with the thought of imagining that I am capable of meeting my younger self , back when I was still a kid. I want to tell her that I am doing my best to fix our future so that the dreams that she wrote and listed inside her little diary will come true. This path that I am taking is too far different from what she have planned and dreamed about . but I am making my own way towards our goal and success. Time seems a bit slow for me but I'd rather deal with it than wait for things to change over time. I know that won't happen. if it does, I will remain in my place and that would be the end of my dream. So I'll continue. I will continue this journey even I can't bring back my old self. The challenges that I have experienced changed my perspective in life and I know that is normal and what's more important is that I haven't lost my perseverance and my will to dream.