@Zcharina22 24 July 2021 more from that month

What the sense of lying when you're already caught (short story)

12-July 24, 2021 I believe everyone has a secret. Secret of love, crush, and there are things that you don't want to share because you don't want to hurt other people's feeling and you don't want them to get disappointed and offended. Keeping someone's trust is the hardest thing to do especially if you're keeping a secret that you can't tell. It's hard to live when you're hiding something to someone, that you didn't mean to it just happened. Curious of what I did? I am a gay but I am into relationship with a woman who is loving and kind. I like her but as a sister or a friend. I was just forced to have a relationship with a woman to cover up my female heart. I'm tired of pretending, I know I am obvious, she's not just talking. But what could I do, we have been in a relationship for two years and we will celebrate our anniversary this coming week. Do I have to break up with her, before its too late? Woooh I'm confused. She's like my sister that's why I don't want to see her crying and get hurt because of me. I am wandering if she's not that good to me, Is it easy to confess? Is it easy for me to just blow up everything about me like a bomb? What could have happened if I hadn't been kind to her? Will she leave me? Surely she will leave me. Silly question self! I tried being a real man just for her but nothing happened, it frustrates me more because I'm still looking for the real me. I guest this is me nothing I can do to change myself but to embrace who I am. I still not ready to confess yet, but my father catches me talking in a girly voice and hugging someone, not my girlfriend but a random boys. I saw his eyes widen and he didn't think it was me. I saw he was hurt, I want to lie that it was just a drama. "drama lol hugging boys infront of my dad?" I followed him but I only received two punches from him. I deserved this, I feel hurt physically but its more painful seeing my dad disappointed and embarrassed because of me. I was surprised at what he said that they were planning a wedding because they were worried about me not marrying my girlfriend. I guest he already knows the answer. I think I need to tell my girlfriend that I am gay. I want to be free, fully free like a bird flying everywhere, without any problem, without pretending, without any worries at all. Is it right to say this on our anniversary day? I don't think so, my father already warned me to tell it immediately. I called my girlfriend and it was answered by a man, Im sure it was not her father. I was more surprised when he said " What do you need from my girlfriend" I smell something jealousy on his voice maybe because I put "my sweety cute" as may name in my girlfriend phone. I immediately drop the call because I think I am disturbing them on what they are doing. I think my girlfriend had a secret too like mine. I am not mad with her, actually it was a blessing in disguise, because it will only make my confession easier because I know she won't be hurt so much. Like I've said before I am obvious, I think she already have a lot of hint that I am a gay. She's just waiting for me to tell it to her. I knew that she needed to hear it right from me. I guest we need to clarify everything about us. In the next day, my girlfriend called. Anyways I was expecting her to call because I know she's still worried about me. She said we're going to meet to my condo and I said yes coming. She already knew that we need to talk about us. I was surprised with her. She's smiling and he said that she's happy now that my father already knew that I was a gay. And she said that, she knows that I am a gay from the start. What? I am surprised with her revelation. She don't see me as boyfriend also. She only had a relationship with me becuase she sense that I needed her help to cover up my female heart. She said that she never fake her love to me it was real as friend. Also she also confessed that she is in a relatioship with a foreigner. She said that," what the sense of lying when you already caught me" I am relate with that because my father caught me live lol. Closing thought: There are times that we need to lie not becuase we want to, but because we know that we are not accepted, also we knew that we are different from others, we knew that we will put ourself into embarrasment, most especially we knew that our loveones will get offended, disappointed and will get hurt thats why we are making decisions or actions to cover-up who we are. But the cause of this is our freedom to become happy and live as who we are. We only reveal the truth when we get caught we don't have a choice but to face everything and explain ourself. I think its always bound to happen to get caught because to get caught is the start of new life, to get caught means " theres is no secret that will not be revealed" Lead image source:https://pixabay.com/photos/aids-handcuffs-ambulance-hiv-thief-1886383/ Yaay! After 3 days of not writing makes me feel dumb lol..I survived this day..;