Identify Your Own Niche
Has it ever occurred to you why the caterpillar and the butterfly doesn't feed on the same food source? It is because they operate on different niche though both are found on the same plant. While one feeds on the nectar of flowers the other feeds on the leaf of plants. You will all agree with me that the leaf is more nutritious than the nectar while still agreeing that the nectar is sweeter than the leaf.
**Have you ever wondered why they don't feed on the same food source?**
It never crossed your mind as you were so bothered why your friend's business is more productive than yours or why the person you invited to the platform is more favoured by @TheRandomRewarder than you. It's no new thing all of us were born with that spirit of being jealous. It's just one fact that you can not deny. We all have felt that butterfly build inside of us when we discovered our friend bought a new car or phone. You are now concerned about what gave her such huge favour and without thinking twice you dive into what gave them wealth without thinking twice.
Forgetting everyone has their own speed lane and it is what makes us unique. You don't expect to get the same tip as your friend or a different user who wrote on a certain topic because you did the same. You should rather focus on your ability, what gets the audience entertained and write on. Everyone wasn't meant to be a musician, doctor or actor. We are unique and finding our niche is all that matters to making life comfortable. **Have you ever wondered about the parable of the talents, each person was given according to what he would be able to reproduce. You can't be given a role you will not be able to play.**
The world would be a better place if we are able to understand this fact, rather than go around trying to patch our lives up. You can't be a model, an actor and a musician at once. But due to the pressure of living large like your friend, you opted into doing it and it never ended well. Life was never meant to be stressful or full of pleasure but since you are trying so hard to live like others, you are always under pressure.
Always know someone out there will be richer than you, more beautiful, stronger and more powerful than you. It doesn't mean you haven't tried but just have it at the back of your mind it wasn't your own niche. Changing your line of business, changing your area of focus just to see if you could be favoured won't earn you all the money you want. You just have to be satisfied with whatever you are doing.
Don't be under unnecessary pressure just to trend. Be yourself and you will be happy you did. It could be their turn today to have all the wealth but you should also know it could be yours too. Life was meant to be easy, live it without pressure. Identify your own niche and live happily there.
Much love from Belgium!
**Image** **source**: **unsplash.com**
What Do You See, Your Reflection Or Someone Different?
Lately I have been avoiding everything that gives me joy and I know it isn't right. Looking at my reflection in the mirror all I saw was a lady filled with dreams, aspirations and goals. When I step put of my room I saw a different person, someone who is scared to try everything and anything, scared of being called a failure when I truly know everything good doesn't come so easy.
**What Do You See?**
Yes! It is a question directed to you, aside all that your friends said about you, what do you see when you look at how far you've come?
When the world sees a man who's struggles will never end what do you see? You don't need to climb the highest mountain just to see a better version of you. All you need right now is to look at yourself with the right mirror, your personal mirror and not the world's own.
Troubles were bound to set in and hearts were meant to be broken, of course you will get betrayed by your friends, lovers and even your family. **Does it really matter?**
To those who uses the world's mirror it does but to those who own their own personal mirror, it doesn't matter.
Life was meant to be tough, rigid and filled with turbulence times but what do you see when you look at the storm is all that matters. ***There is this saying that when life throws you limes, do you keep quiet and watch or will you turned it into a lemon juice?*** Life is what we make of it.
I walked in to the hospital today, everyone greeted me "**Good morning Doc"** they felt I was happy. My grandma once told me, the happiest people are doctors and nurses, I wish she was here for me to prove her wrong. The thought of watching your patient give up and the loud cries of the relatives could torment you for days. I recently had an encounter and it knocked me off for days. **She died while undergoing her second dose of chemotherapy.**
Was it my fault because I knew I had taken necessary precautions. Of course not, but this is me staring at the face of a young promising doctor, who thinks she is a **murderer.**
No one knows that pain when you had to have a flash of what really happened and you knew there was nothing to be done. The guilt of killing her will surely wipe off and I will be free again but for now all I see is a murderer dressed in a white coat with a stethoscope hung round her neck.
**Moving On!!**
You don't need to be in a place where all the memories still reminds you of your past, you have to move on was all I could think of. I packed my bags and left hurriedly, without listening to the pleas of my colleagues, nurses, laboratory attendants and even the patients. I couldn't face them anymore for all I saw was the picture of the lady who died few days ago.
As I enter my car, I bid them goodbye for the last time, I knew I was never going to see them again but they held a special place in my heart. I drove home crying but I knew I made the right choice. I rushed into the washroom and looked at myself once again,I saw a lady filled with dreams, goals and aspirations. I saw the happy doctor u was before the incidence, but what change my image when I look outside my mirror. I guess I did, it was my mindset pranking me that I was a murderer, if only I was able to take this image in my head in the washroom outside, maybe I would have stayed to save the lives of my other patients.
What do you see when you look at yourself? A victor, a loser or a confused being. Whatever you think of yourself, always use the right mirror to have a final glance. Don't let the world tells you who you aren't because you are scared to look into the right mirror.
***It came from a busy mind and I hope it met all my readers well. Do have a wonderful time out there and never forget to smile.***
*****Lead image:unsplash.com*****
Nothing beats The Power Of Acceptance
Living in a world where everyone lives a life different from reality is something we are used to. **Trying to be an eagle when all they could be is a butterfly.**
I know most times it is the power of motivational speeches trying to control our lives but the truth still remains, nothing beats the power of acceptance.
In my opinion before you could actually make progress you need to first accept yourself for who you are. Seeing yourself like a millionaire won't work the magic you want but seeing yourself as someone who is broke will.
***To my Christian brethren who are familiar with the story of the prodigal son. The first step to regain his dignity was to realize his present state, he had to face reality before he could rise again. In his own words he said "I will arise and go to my father"*** he didn't wait for his father to come to him nor did he wait for his father to send food to him. He had to realise he was wrong and make a move.
Let's imagine, he never did because he was the son of a wealthy man, things wouldn't have changed for him. No wonder God said "**call unto me and I will answer you"** the logic behind it is, only a man who is in need will request for help. Don't allow motivational talks to cloud your mind from understanding the power of acceptance. You do have to accept your weakness before you can turn it to strength.
I am not countering the power of positive saying but all I am stressing is never allow your mind wander from accepting who you are. I still remember one day after an appointment with a patient, I diagnosed her with Congestive Cardiac Failure but due to her belief of rejecting illness and doctor's diagnosis she died a few months later. Not because we were not capable of treating her but because she failed to accept her fate.
You can not treat an illness you don't have, it is never possible to get a job when you are still employed. The power of acceptance is all you need to drive you towards your goals. You think it is wrong to accept your present state right, why then did you accept your gender without protesting? No! I am not a male, I am a female or no! I am a male not a female, a lot of people will think you are running out of mental stability **or is that the only time we could really appreciate the power of acceptance?**
Accepting your present condition is not an excuse not to be a better person but should be a source of motivation to skyrocket you to the top. A man who continues living under the words of a motivational speaker without first accepting his current condition is only wasting his time. There are no two ways to success: accept what you don't have and aim for what you want. You cannot picture yourself as a king when in reality you are a servant. ***Most times how we see ourselves matters a lot and has a great influence on who we will become.***
Accept yourself for who you are and work towards becoming a better person. The tactics in becoming successful is analyzing your weakness, accepting them and working to make amends. Imagine a footballer who after playing his matches, doesn't sit to get reviews from his coach but goes about with the notion of ***i am the best*** and nothing can beat that. With time, he may begin to go down in his career peak because he has failed to accept his mistakes and do the needed corrections.
My dear, the month is still young, how you started doesn't matter but how you want to end it does. Will you accept your mistakes of last month and make necessary corrections or do you just want to begin on a clean slate? ***What if you make the same mistake again?***
***Think twice but always remember before you become successful, you must first accept your present situation.***
***Image source:unsplash.com***
How To Achieve Your Goals In The New Month
A pleasant day to everyone and a happy new month, my darlings. I know it has become customary for everyone to set out new goals whenever the month ends and try hard to achieve them. Though this is becoming a norm, how well we get to our target is the issue. Someone with myriads of goals struggling hard to achieve a single target deserves an accolade.
I know you are wondering if I do encourage mediocrity, I will gladly say it depends on the task. I do not encourage mediocrity but I will always celebrate someone who has tried so hard to achieve something.
Achievement is one of the things that makes us relevant in society and so people who make such strides deserve to be honoured.
The year is far spent and so a new target must be met while the former if it wasn't achieved needs to be rechecked. When it becomes too hard to focus, you need to remember you have a goal ahead of you. Instead of wallow in self pity, laziness and incompetency why not have a review of all your set down goals and begin to analyse how you could achieve them.
Everyone has been at the verge of doubting their ability. How do you convince yourself this month you will write articles everyday or how do you tell yourself this new month, I will exercise regularly.
A new month is like starting all over again on a clean slate, so it deserves a fresh start filled with optimism and enthusiasm. You don't need to take the failures or bad days of previous months into a new one.
One of the ways of achieving something tangible in this new month is to remain positive. Rather than focus on previous failures and unaccomplished goals you need to be positive about your set goals. Having a negative mind about it will get you nowhere rather, you will be stuck with them.
**Writing out your goals is another way of meeting your target for the new month;** rather than wake without a plan of how your new day should be, I will advise you to lay on your bed and reason out what you can do to make your life a better one. It is not about how many you are able to accomplish but how well it was accomplished. Map out all the areas you need to focus on both areas of weakness and strength. You don't have to fidget over it, make a stance and implement it
A lot of people have great plans but they can't recall all of it, so their performance becomes limited. ***When you write out your target, you feel more eager to accomplish them than when you don't.***
**Achieving your target for the new month could also require you changing your circle of friends;** have you ever thought why this is so important? Because of the saying, show me your friend and I will tell who you are. A lazy friend will have a negative influence on you. Let's assume, you had a target of exercising everyday, and your friend had the same target. If your friend fails to keep on with hers, she will do everything possible for you to also stop yourself. That's why it is said, *****birds of like minds, fly together*****.
**Finally, you need a mentor,** most people make the mistake of having a mentor they are familiar with. Someone who won't have that authority to correct or even add to their lives. Mentorship was meant to be a form of having two thoughts. In case one fails, you know you could fall back on your mentor's own.
It is a new month and a lot has to be achieved. I hope and pray you get all you ever wanted in this new month. Happy new month to you lovelies, may all your dreams manifest and may you be the best in this new month.
*****With love from Belgium*****
*Lead image:unsplash.com*
Walk Away And Never Look Back
***There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who do not. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living. - José N. Harris.***
Have you ever been in a situation where you have to decide to choose between moving on or staying to endure the pain? It may not be the pain of an abusive union, it could also be in the area of making decisions regarding your future, career or even your friends.
There are times we choose to endure bad behaviour hoping they will change and become better, that our boss will stop nagging and start appreciating all our efforts.
That your friends will stop making you feel inferior and letting you down. Rather than those things expected to change for the better, it keeps on getting worse.
How long do you intend to handle a failed relationship? Been years you've been crying over the same thing. Don't you think It would be nice to **walk away and never look back?**
I know you had great memories together, they were the best thing you could ever wish for but when it hurts so much and your heart can not bear it again it is better to **walk away, don't look back.** Abusive relationships are never going to get better but worse as days go by, so why hope on it? **It's like waiting for rain in the desert, not impossible but very rare.**
Your boss is a pain in the neck rather than quite the job, you are expecting him to change one day. To what exactly? A better person I guess. I wish you all the best but let me burst your bubble, it might not happen. Bad characters are not learned overnight, it takes time for them to build up and such characters can not be put off within the snap of a finger. If it does, I would advise you to run because that is ***a pretence.***
I remember a colleague in medical school who was performing great but all of a sudden became the worst in medical school. If it were you what would you have done? Probably, sit up, burn more nights at your study table, get a lot of tutorial videos and watch. But he decided to walk away, it was the most painful thing to ever happen to Us as his colleagues. He was a cool guy and everyone liked him. Currently, he owns one of the biggest stores in Belgium and he is living just fine. What if he had continued chasing the dream that left him a while ago, he would have ended up unhappy and not satisfied. Have you seen why it is necessary to walk away when things don't add up?
Countless motivational speakers will advise you to keep on trying but then for how long? Keep on enduring a failed relationship because you expect them to change!
My dear readers, when things don't add up or make sense anymore, it is better you walk away than wallow in pain and misery. Life was meant to be interesting but you just chose not to see it that way. You feel you could change every bad situation in your life which is never meant to be. You may not always win all your struggles, hurdles and fights but one thing I want you to know when it hurts so bad, you don't have to endure the pain knowing when to walk away. They are some pains that will never go away unless you move away. The truth is, are you willing to take that bold step today, if you are? **Welcome to freedom.**
*Do have a blissful week, knowing your decisions are what makes you. So make the right decision to avoid regrets. I care about everyone!*
*Lead image: unsplash.com*
If I were The One, I Would Have Done Better
Tough times don't last but tough people do, this is a quote we all have heard or told someone at one point in life. It is true how easy it is to tell someone that, we say it with so much ease like it never meant anything to them.
I still remember when I lost my grandma, a friend of mine walked into my room and saw me crying, she stood for a while looking at me and then burst into a loud session of laughter. I was surprised and rose to ask what the laughter was all about. She kept on laughing then she told me **just your grandma gone and you are this weak, c'mon girl let's go grab some drinks.** I was shocked when my friend said this to me.
It also happened to her a few years later, she lost her mum, crying and being moody all day. I visited her with some bottles of drink. "**Hey girl! What's up with you, your mum is dead and gone, let's drink some liquor while we wait for the boys to join us"**. She began raising her voice calling me inconsiderate, unkind and a weirdo. I just smiled and walked away. Though what I did was wrong, I only wanted her to feel the same way I did, when she did the same to me when my grandma died.
It is so easy to console someone and make them feel bad for crying or mourning over a job, relationship, relatives or even a pet. But before you start condemning them for being so weak, why not take a moment to fit into their shoes. You need to understand their pain.
As a teacher, before you write off any student as being too dull or a failure, why not take your time to enquire why they aren't concentrating. Are you too fast or too slow while talking or do they just find the class boring. I still remember in high school I never found Arithmetic classes enjoyable so I performed poorly but I topped my grades in Biology class. That explains to you one could be weak in one aspect and a pro in another aspect, it all depends on their preference.
I don't like this particular customer of mine, he complains a lot and I am not comfortable with it. My dear, that could be the best customer you could ever get but the question is, how did you treat them? Were you bothered to know why they complain about your meals? Or do you just conclude they were being too rude.
Life is lovely, beautiful, enjoyable and fun but not to everyone at the same time. I still remember when I came to this platform and I saw some users complaining about not being rewarded by the @TheRandomRewarder At first I condemned their actions, judging them to be greedy only writing for monetary gain. But things weren't the same when I was first awarded, I discovered it was so important to them. It boosts your morale and it is really a pat on the back for a job well done. Then rusty didn't visit for a while, I began my own rants on my post. Then I realised I was wrong. I shouldn't have talked badly about them. Then I realise how important it is, to place yourself in one's situation before judging them. By doing so, it will be easier for us to either console, condemn or appreciate them. Everyone has more on their mind than just a gloomy face. Before you condemn someone, be willing to hear their own side of the story. I do think when life doesn't add up for another we were sent to make it better for them. Don't add to their pains if you know you will judge them.
The statement **" if it were me, I would have done better "** has caused a lot of pain in our world today, you wouldn't have done anything better if it were to happen to you.
My dear readers, Let us handle other people's heart aches as if it were ours, be mindful of what we say to others at their lowest moment. Do have a blissful weekend. I love you all.
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
Why Am I So Boring?
Has this question ever crossed your mind? If yes, then this article is meant for you. Though quite a handful of others might not realise how boring they are, until someone else points it out to them. We all get bored at some point in our life, no matter how lively or fun-filled our life seems to be. There is always that tendency we get tired of a particular lifestyle or way of thought.
Boring is no new word to anyone, as we often attribute it to something or someone that is uninteresting. We have probably commented on a movie, subject in school or a particular activity as being boring due to the fact, that it had nothing to offer that was worth the time.
**Can Humans Be Boring?**
Yes! Humans could also be boring, it's not a word attributed only to inanimate things. We could use it interchangeably with humans and their activities. Have you ever heard someone describe themselves as being boring? Probably you have and one thing I do is to study the behaviour of such people. Most times, they are not even boring but only live a stereotyped kind of life.
Such individuals are always afraid to try out new ideas, to them they are already boring so why should they try them out? They often remain in a fixed position tagged their **comfort zone.** This hinders them from making progress or even trying out new concepts. I have been with someone who explained to me she was boring, only to discover what a **lovely person she was.** Her only fear was being rejected or seen as a loser. After some time, with me, she finally discovered she was more interesting than she could have imagined.
Individuals who tag themselves as being **boring** are those who are scared of using their intellect. All they do is go with what everyone does. That is why most boring people are seen on different social media, always available to check out the newest trend, gossip or trending fashion. They feel everyone's ideas, thoughts and experiences are more accurate than theirs. I would say the most boring people are people with low self-esteem. Those who feel they are not good enough are always at war with their personality. Boring people are always insecure. Even when they are not comfortable with their choice but since it is what others are comfortable with, that's a perfect one for them.
Understanding your worth and making your opinion a priority will help fix this issue.
Boring people tend to have a small circle of friends. Because they are boring, they feel no one is interested in making them their friends and so no need to even try making friends or expanding their circle of friends. The few friends they were able to make are a **demi-god** to them, as they try everything possible to keep them even when it is out of their own free will. Little wonder why some ladies/men tend to stay in an abusive relationship, it is because they feel they can't be loved or will never find a better person than their abusive partner. This makes them tolerate all their shortcomings.
Finally, a person who labels themselves as being boring is concerned about what others think or say about them. Imagine staying all night to wonder what your next-door neighbour thinks about the clothes you wore to work today or what their thoughts are about your partner, kids or pets. Does it matter? Yes, being concerned about others' opinions about you will only get you scared of trying out new stuff. The time you spent thinking about those things could have been used to plan or develop yourself.
**Conclusion**
Being boring is normal for everyone but when you allow it to become a part of you makes it a problem. You don't have to live in your head all day, go out there and socialise. Being active only on social media is never a great choice, you just have to realise there is a lot of fun waiting for you in reality. You don't need to look like those celebrities to be appreciated by others, be yourself and the right people will appreciate you. **The key activities to get rid of the illusion of being boring is socializing, living a carefree life and not minding what others think about you.**
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
Follow Your Mind And Not The Crowd
***The woman who follows the crowd will usually go on further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before ~ Albert Einstein***
You could lie to everyone around us, but one person you can't deceive is yourself. Pretending to be fine, when you know you are not, is one of the greatest crimes one could ever commit. Sometimes it's as a result of peer pressure or not wanting to be pitied that caused it. I still remember the day, I lied to my friends of being able to ride a bicycle. They cheered me, as we were few who were able to ride a bicycle. Few minutes later, I met my dead end, when one of the kids In class, came around with a bicycle.
All those who claimed they could ride a bicycle showed off their riding skills. When it was my turn, I had wanted telling them, the truth but my mind pranked me, kept telling me I could do it. I felt riding a bicycle was so easy, so I mounted the bicycle and ended inside a gutter filled with dirt. Everyone laughed at me, I came out all messed up and walked home.
I told my grandpa about the incident in school, he listened keenly and told me, if there is anyone, you should ever listen to, it is yourself.
A lot of us have that voice telling us what to do but since we are clouded by happenings within us. We tend to do it the revise. You could deceive everyone, lie to everyone but one person, you can't lie to is **yourself.**
No matter what happens, you know your strength and your weakness. You know what you can do best and what you suck at doing. Yielding to the current situation of things is the worst to ever happen to you. Rise to the challenge, face your fears and never be scared to tell your friends **' No, I haven't tried it or I don't have a clue'** they could ridicule you but you just saved yourself some embarrassment.
You yourself know how much you hate alcohol but since you are scared of everyone laughing at you, you had some sips and now they had to take you home, all messed up. The greatest voice inside of you, isn't the **" I can do it "** type of voice but that still voice that keeps admonishing you about what you are capable of doing. I know a lot of people will tell you, put it off as it is seen as the spirit of fear, negativity and self doubt. But if clearly observed, that little voice was trying to save you from some troubles.
Most times, it is called **an instinct.** Why? Maybe because we are not sure of the trouble but then we realise our minds were up and prepared for it. We don't have to be stubborn towards the commands of our mind.
When it comes to marriage, learn to follow your instinct and not just some random selections. If your mind could be wrong, then why do you have to trust another's instinct?
That all your friends are doing it, doesn't mean you need to. You don't put your life in the line, just to fit in no matter what. If your mind said no, then go with your mind. No one will be as sincere as your mind, when it comes to your well being.
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
If Life Is A Competition, Then Death Is The Trophy
***In a world full of competition, you must compete with yourself through your competence to become an incomparable competitor in the world. Work on yourself competitively - Ned Bryan Abakah***
Our world today has evolved with technology becoming a racing ground. Making man forget the essence of living and chase after vague things. Our minds are clouded with luxury being the reason for existence, throwing to us the challenge to accumulate wealth no matter what it takes. The things men do for money, at times shocks mother nature.
Taking long hours just to satisfy our greed is not a new thing. Making me wonder, **' if all it takes to win the race, was a fight against our own self ".**
Was it? Am sure you will nod your head in affirmation, ***what is life without wealth"*** That's always the response gotten.
Our Creator placed everything in place to make life comfortable but due to greed, we have chosen to add more to our collections and it has changed the once comfortable life into a chaotic one. How will you explain the simple technology of cars driving on roads, to a complex one of flying cars? Though they serve the same purpose, different input is needed. We can't just fold our hands and accept everything technology throws at us. The old saying " **too much of everything is bad"** proves true today, as we have all witnessed it. We requested an easier means of transportation, we had it but we are now fighting off air pollutants emitting from our engines. We have the simple life we've always wanted but in a complex way.
I think the challenges we are facing now gives a meaning to *Adam Smith's definition of Man's want being insatiable.* No matter the wealth we accumulate, we will always ask for me.
**Adverse Effect Of The Competition**
In the pursuit to having a better life and living comfortably, man has subjected itself into **modern day slavery**. *Depriving of itself, sufficient sleeping hours, eating the right meal at the right time and having time to check on his health.*
Day by day, we have heard stories of people sleeping on duty, some while driving. This clearly indicates the individual not giving much attention to sleep, because they are interested in making money. These have led to various hazards which in some cases leads to death. Lack of sufficient sleep could lead to obesity, loss of memory, hypertension and other conditions.
What will be our gain, if we continue investing more on our job than our health, it will eventually result in us investing more on our health, which in some cases makes our struggles futile.
Some in the chase to acquire more wealth become stingy on themselves. Rather than use the money earned to take care of themselves, they prefer to stay that way. They could be hungry for a whole day, and not want to spend a dime on themselves, even when they have a large sum of money in their account. I do ask myself, what's really the essence of making money. Really discouraging seeing someone choose death, all because they want to acquire more wealth.
Others resort to going extreme in search of money, doing both legal and illegal jobs. All to be among the top rich people in town and earn fake respect from people. Instead of moving at their own pace, they get involved in smuggling of drugs, weapons and other illegal activities online.
**Death!!!!!**
This is where it all ends, the unknown trophy every man gets, no matter how hardworking or lazy they were. Both the rich, poor, young and old get the same trophy. If we have this at the back of our minds always, we would not stress ourselves so hard. Knowing fully well, when we are gone, the wealth we acquire will be taken over by our relatives, most times they mismanage them.
Regardless of the fact, we will all die, let us choose wisely how we tend to run in the competition called life. No need to stress or overwork yourself, slow but steady grind could still get you to your destination, regardless of how long you took. All that you need is time, patience and the right mindset, you are not in any competition with anyone. Take your time and win your own race, knowing the general trophy which is death will be won by everyone.
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
Silence: The Most Powerful Tool
***"We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature ( trees, flowers, grass ) grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. We need silence to be able to touch souls.” – Mother Teresa***
If you were asked, **' what is the most powerful tool?'** *what will your response be? I am definitely sure, you would be thinking of missiles, heavy nuclear weapons and other magnificent tools. But No!* Have you ever wondered what's going on, in the mind of someone who talks less? Probably, they may be planning something dangerous, haha! Your guess could be as wrong as being correct. Silence has been an action used, to exonerate, clarify and show respect to people in authority in past years. Little wonder why, we tend to be attracted to quiet people, because we think they are really nice.
**Why Do I Need To Be Silent?**
Like I said, silence remains the greatest tool since human existence. It gives out mixed signals about a situation, people or actions. Imagine being silence when everyone around you, requires an answer for the problem at hand, and all you could do is to remain calm. It is either, you will be accused of being guilty or exonerated. Quiet people are seen as being calm, nice and peaceful. You will hardly encounter trouble if you talk less.
A person who talk less is often seen as a powerful person, as everyone is unaware of your next move. Someone who talks a lot is seen less of a threat, as their next step will be reveal by them. They are often seen as toothless dogs, who only bark but can't bite. Never underestimate the power of your silence, for it is golden. There is this aura around people who are silent. People wants to associate more with them, and it tends to expand their circle of friends. In other words, you tend to get more friends, more dreaded and fame, when you know how to utilize the most powerful tool.
Too much of talking might even get you into trouble. When you are not able to control your tongue, you are definitely bound to get yourself some trouble. I still remember, the **' Academy play by @Fashtioluwa"** where I was given the role of a talkative. You could see how I almost, caused a fight between two classes because I wasn't quiet. Even when I didn't know who took PrincessBusayo's seed phrase. That is the menace, not knowing when to talk or stay quiet could cause.
***I had an argument with my Boss in the office, he was shouting and threatening me, calling me lazy and all sort of names. When I tried to explain myself to him, but he failed to listen, I had to remain silent. A lot of people would have seen it as an avenue to vent their anger but I chose to remain quiet. When he was done talking, I had to take a bow politely. I was promoted after a month, not because I deserved it but for my conduct.*** You don't need to react on everything, be calm, think of your next action before you do anything. A lot of people, act before they could even reason out their action.
Silence tells a lot about a person's personality, a person who talk less is a great listener and also good in giving advice. This makes it easier for people to connect to them, knowing fully well, they have someone, who will listen to all their rants and provide accurate solution. How will you advice someone, who came to tell you about their problem, when you are also talking. Most times, what you are saying doesn't correspond with the issue on ground. When we learn to be silence, we will be able to decipher when a person is lying or telling the truth. Silent people, pay close attention to little details, which makes them fit for the role of a detective.
Have you ever heard the old saying, **' the best answer to a fool, is to remain quiet"** that's all that we need in some challenges face, you don't have to scream to bring down the roof, so you could make a point. If you have tried to explain things and it's still not making sense to the person, you have every right to remain silent.
Allow them say all that is on their mind, if they notice you are not saying anything, they will keep calm.
It is not every argument, you should involve yourself especially when you know you are not at fault.
**Conclusion**
Not saying anything doesn't make you a coward, but stirs a lot of questions in the heart of people. You are seen as a puzzle that needs to be unravelled.
Silence as been an antidote to almost all life challenges, **but then we have to know when not to be seen as a fool because of silence.** In certain situations, you are expected to talk, but then talk wisely.
Do have a blissful day, my dear readers.
Lead image: unsplash.com
You will never stop surprising me @Hermaniginger. I am grateful for the sponsorship renewal. Thank you sister
What Hurts The Most Doesn't Kill Us, But Makes Us Stronger
Everyone has their own battle to face, that's why we need not bug people who choose to be on their own. The world today is a battlefield, vast with different problems and situations. Most times we are forced to question our existence. Research shows, not everyone can be happy at the same time. While you are struggling with your demons, another man is celebrating his victory. The Bible talks about, **' time for everything'.**
The good part of our struggles remains: they bring the best out of us. I still remember the first day, I learnt how to ride a bicycle. I wasn't able to control the pedals, which made me fall into a ditch. I knew the only way to get off, that trouble was to know how to balance the wheel. That really shaped me into becoming a better rider.
Another instance was during my high school days. I had a poor performance in school, and I wasn't happy about it. Going home with such a result, usually earned me some beatings from my dad. I had to sit up and study, it wasn't because I wanted to, but to avoid being flogged. Today, I am a better and successful person. This clearly explains the fact, tough times are always there to make you a better person.
Here is a list of struggles, which could shaped you into becoming a better person:
**1) Heartbreaks:** Almost everyone has gotten their heart broken, either from their partners, close friends or family members. You might be thinking of just a lover breaking your heart, cheating on you or failing to keep to their promises. That's no doubt, heartbreak. But let's look at it from a different perspective, heartbreak could also stem from close friends. Imagine, your friend refusing to help you, even when you know they have all it takes to do so. It will leave you heartbroken.
Such feelings could last for a while, could span for months or more. But when such an individual bounces back. He/she will be careful not to make the same mistake again. That is the beauty of tough times, he/she will trust less, love less or even stop associating with such people.
**2) Rejection:** Nothing hurts like being rejected, that feeling of not being good enough could dampen your day and make life terrible for you. Let's assume you went for an interview, and you couldn't meet up with the requirements, you were dismissed. That feeling of being rejected will shape you into becoming a better version of yourself. I have seen people who couldn't get their desired job, due to a qualification they lacked, invest their time and energy just to get them. That is a boost to themselves, aside from them getting their dream job, they have also added to their bank of knowledge.
**3) College:** This phase is when we get to learn, the rudiments of life. How and when to reacts to situations. Moment you need to wake up even when you slept late, so you don't miss morning lectures. Other times, you could be blessed with bullies, both as lecturers and colleagues. So you learn to deal with such people.
This is all the training you need, to become a better person. Knowing when to win, lose, celebrate your wins and mourn your losses. College is not just an institution of learning but also a place where morale standards are augmented.
**4) Relationships:** This is a different learning ground. You tend to meet with people of different ideology, and philosophy. How you connect with them matters a lot. This also shapes you, into adapting to whatever situation or people you find yourself in.
In relationships, you also learn how to compromise, that is, put others first. This simple attitude could shape your life into becoming a great leader in future.
**5) Your Past:** Have you ever remembered a past and either gotten angry or happy with the way you reacted? That's awesome if you do, it shows you are trying to become a person, different from who you used to be. The old saying of experience being the best teacher still stand till date.
It's very rare seeing people go through the same hurdles over and over again, if they do, then know they are not learning from their past. A wise person will have a myriad of events in his/her mind, to always reflect on regularly. You may not be able to change your past, but you can learn from it.
There are other numerous life challenges, which I will still talk about in future articles. All this contributes to making us better individuals.
So while going through tough situations, you don't need to rush out of it, without learning something new. Maybe you were meant to go through an abusive relationship for you to appreciate a better one. Your boss shouts at you every time and you are already tired of the job, be calm, develop a thick skin and this will help you in other jobs in future.
No one was meant to be sad forever, every situation in life is a lesson for tomorrow. Cheers!!!
*Lead image: unsplash.com*
Your Reaction Matters A Lot
Hello my beautiful friends, u trust you are having a wonderful weekend. I went to visit my boyfriend, so I have been busy. I promise to read all the posts in my notification as they matter a lot to me.
I went with my boyfriend to the coffee store today. We just wanted something unusual. While we were there, some guys walked in, they were so handsome and I admired them, hey! Don't look at me that way, I told my boyfriend about it.lol! While they were being served coffee.the waiter mistakenly spilled some on one of the guy's shirt. He never waited for an apology from the waiter, he slapped him and pushed him. Ewww! I overheard myself say that, while my boyfriend laughed at me. I was greatly pissed by his actions and that was the reason I reacted that way.
A lot of times, we've heard people say, I really admired that lady/guy but I don't like the way he reacts to issues. This shows how much emphasis is laid on your reactions. I called it, **your first impression.** What would you do, if you were to be that guy? Will you have reacted in a different way or same way? Of course everyone would have reacted in a different way, who doesn't want to serve his/her reputation. But the truth remains, the way we react to situations, tells a lot about our personality.
Like the guy at the coffee store, I could tell he isn't a patient type and gets pissed off at every slight mistake. I don't think anyone would like to have anything serious with such people. That's how important you need to be mindful of how you react to situations.
**How do you react to Tough times?**
Do you throw in the towel and walk out or do you stay crying all day. The truth is, our strength is measured from how we react to situations. Regardless of how tough or demanding it is, you are expected to lay calm, think of other options before you do anything. You don't just give up on your dream, because you failed at it again. You have to weigh your decisions and try again.
That's why, when the police want to arrest you, they are watchful of your reactions. They give a command and watch your response. That could be used to detect an offender from an innocent person. Ever heard them say ' ***put your hands in the hand, anything you say will be used against you in the court of law?*** That's to explain, your action can either set you free or lock you. So when you try anything, you really need to weigh the consequences first.
Your reaction to things can be used to detect, if you are lying or not. I know of a friend, who blinks her eyes and looks away while she is lying. As simple as that, you could get the truth from here, even without asking her. Though this is a great format to use to detect her sincerity level, this could also be used to harm her.
If one is conversant with her eyes blinking, looking at some other place, while lying. She could be forced to do things outside her will because they could detect she is able to do them, even when she doesn't want to.
Finally, how we react to things could either tint our reputation and I will admonish everyone to react accordingly. You don't need to be warned before you react accurately. Even when you are taken unaware, you still need to put up your best reaction. The world is always watching us.
Stand Out Or Get Out!
"*If you want to make unique discoveries, you do not follow the crowd ~ Steven Magee*
Ever wondered why out of all the gems we've heard about, gold still remains our most pricey and sought after of them all. The magic is the processes it goes through to become that shiny piece of material, we can't get our eyes off. Everyone desires to own gold, not because of its name but because of its worth. **Do you know the processes involved?**
A classy and luxurious lifestyle doesn't come that easy, we have to work to get it. The ability to get such a lifestyle depends on the work input on ourselves. You don't expect to be a great person, if you are not working towards becoming one. And if you want to stand out among friends then you need to do what they haven't done.
**Stand Out Or Get Out!**
*Does that sound degrading?* That was the favourite word our professor used on us. He once told us, **"*****if you wanna make a difference, in the medical world, then you have to take steps, no one has ever taken, it's either you stand out among friends or you get out of the league"*** Those words sank into us, like the titanic when it hits the iceberg. We knew, he meant every word not for his own good but ours. So we had to work ourselves to become a better person.
It doesn't only apply to academics alone, no employer needs a person who doesn't want to work on **his/her skills**. That wasn't why he employed you, **he thought you would have had a positive impact on his business**. Let's not be deceived, your boss can clean his office, send and receive emails, talk to clients and carry out other duties involved but he chose to get people to work for him, so as to ***contribute to his ideas and also for division of labour.***
The willingness to learn new skills is a stepping stone to a better life. This also boosts our chances of being employed faster. ***Some employers hired workers not for the present job alone but for future ones too***. The urge to acquire additional skills will give an edge over others, during an interview. You really need to be unique, if you want to stand out.
Another aspect to make you stand out is how you treat yourself. You don't have to show others, you are serious or ill mannered. Nobody wants to associate with someone, who doesn't keep to their words or messes around all in the name of being a funny person. **If you want to stand out, then you must take yourself seriously.** You don't need to write it so boldly and wear it as a tag. By your attitude, others will know if you are a serious person or not.
A little show of kindness could make you stand out from the crowd. There are over ten thousand users on this platform but we can't fail to recognise the presence of @TheRandomRewarder not because of his intelligence alone but also for the fact, he is generous. They are other great users who tip people whenever they comment on their post. This show of kindness will always drive people to read their articles and also anticipate more. **You don't need to give billions to someone before it is graded as kindness.** The little help you render, physically, mentally or just being around someone going through a difficult time, is enough to imprint your name in their minds. Be willing to help, and you will see the crowd that will seek after you.
While I still stress on kindness, it's important. A kind person can never be forgotten. I still remember the first day, I stepped foot to the hospital during my internship. A lady who was ill and wasn't able to pay her bills. She was finding it difficult to receive treatments, so I had to stand as her guarantor for her to be treated. Though she never kept to her side of the deal of coming to settle her debt. All the medical personnel there never stopped **talking about me.** It gave me an edge when my end of internship form was to be signed. I was given preferential treatment to others and it made me stand out from the long queue of other house officers. This shows how important it is to be kind. The Incident of **Bill Gates, still** praised for his benevolence contribution to Africa, shows how kindness can set you apart from the crowd.
Finally, if you want to stand out in your pursuit, you need to be disciplined. Having a ***good record of conduct*** adds to your qualification. Nobody wants to hire a tout or indecent person. Grandma once told us a story about a guy who was rude to a lady in the grocery store.Only for him to attend an interview in her company, he knew he wasn't going to be hired. Not because she has some grudges for him, but because he has displayed how incompetent he is. Your attitude is the mirror to your soul, be disciplined.
***Lead image : Unsplash.com***
How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers
*I’m now much less of an asset to the company than I could be. I keep my head down and for self-preservation just do my work with little conversation with anyone. Yet the irony is this: in my self-preservation, I’m actually destroying myself. In bottling up my unexpressed feelings, I’m making myself sick emotionally and physically - Gary Chapman*
The joy of division of labour is when tasks are shared with love, peace and harmony. This is what makes up a healthy workplace, and the desire of everyone. Sometimes we are lucky to be in an environment filled with lively and good people that we could easily relate with while other times, it seems we are being made to pay the price of a sin we are yet to commit, so we are stuck with toxic people as colleagues in our offices.
Toxicity could range from physical to emotional attacks. All having the same goal of making you loss focus and passion for your job. They could go to extent of tarnishing our image before other colleagues and even our boss.
Their main goal is to make you unhappy, dissatisfied and worried. Most times, will always trigger you into a fight which may not end well in your favour. It is really a fun thing, living in your house to get bullied at work. A lot of people have quitted their jobs because of this while others have shown to have decreased productivity levels.
Working with a toxic person, might hinder your growth rate, as you will be afraid to express what you feel. Since you are not sure of what they like or dislike. It often gets us into unnecessary problems, a toxic coworker is worst than a bad tyre and for growth, it is either they are changed or you are changed. You don't need such energy in your life as you might not make noticeable progress.
*Have mapped out few steps on how we can work in the same environment with a toxic person, without much effect on our progress;*
**1)** **Know Your Limits:** This is required from us, even when we don't work with toxic people. You don't have to be too available or a little bit too simple. A lot of people will tend to abuse such opportunity. Clearly, Noticed when we have a toxic colleague, who uses our simplicity to make demands way too bigger than could be solved.
Let's assume, your job is to proof read mails, reply to them and tender reports to your boss. While your toxic coworker's duty was to summarise them, arrange and keep a monthly records. If out of your goodwill, you offer to help in handling his/her aspect of the job, be ready to work till the end. Such people feel entitled to everything including what they are paid for.
That's why it is advisable, you keep a low profile and avoid going to do other people's task, as most times, you could perform such task perfectly and so end the praises of your employer. That could also trigger hatred among your colleagues. **Learn to be focused on your task and yours alone.**
**2) Avoid Gossips:** Funny how we are comfortable discussing about other people or enjoy discussions about other people. Such activities could expose us to unwarranted relationship and also tends to expose us to office bullies. You are not to mingle in office gist, while everyone is busy talking about their employer or colleague who is absent, do well to remain quiet, it could be a trap to lure you into trouble. They often forget about all that others said and reports yours to whoever was talked about. To avoid such issues, it's best you maintain a no listing profile excerpts it's on official matters.
Official matters shouldn't be discussed with toxic people, they could steal your ideas and get all the praise. Remember, all they ever want is to outshine you.
Avoid giving too much information about yourself. It also curbs unnecessary attentions and tongue wagging. Nothing dreads human like realising they know, little about you. So keep a low profile, avoid gossips and be focused on your duties.
**3) Don't Change For Them:** You are amazing and peace loving so why do you want to adopt a lifestyle, you will later regret. **The adage 'if you can't beat them, join them"** shouldn't be employed in matters like this, you have to maintain your sanity and avoid being counted as one of them.
The Bible talked about maintaining peace with all men, I will advice you take up such measure with your toxic colleague. No matter how many times, they will trouble you, overstep their boundaries, learn not to change. It confers dignity and self respect, if needs be for an action, it will be stated in the next point that follows.
**4) React Appropriately:** Your troublesome colleague tantrum could get to a point, where you are fed up and you just want to show the stuff you are made of. It's fine, we are all humans with emotions and so moments occur when it gets overflow.
You don't have to fight them physically or exchange words with them. It is appropriate you report to the appropriate body. If you are working in a company, school, etc it is advisable you report such colleague to the disciplinary committee for queries. Though this could intensify their hostility, but it will create in them the awareness of being watched by the authority. Don't fight a toxic person, for they have nothing to lose but you have a lot to loss. Be wise when dealing with them.
**5) Be Official Around Them:** Being too open with such people could give them advantage to cause more damage to you, both physically, emotionally and otherwise. Avoid unnecessary conversations and learn to maintain closed-end questions. This helps curb being frustrated by such people in your daily task.
Your questions should either require a **"Yes or No"** response. This avoids unnecessary lies and bitter expressions by them. Most of your conversation should be done through mails, it keeps track of their actions and words and it will help minimise attacks.
**6) You Are Free To Quit:** I know a lot of people don't wanna be painted as a coward, so they will want to stay. But of **what use is your stay when you are being bullied everyday?** You don't have to stay when it is at the expense of your sanity. No! You are wrong.
If after taking necessary steps and it's still not yielding a better result, quit your job or apply for a transfer to another department. You don't need negativity when it comes to productivity.
`Stay positive and have a blessed week ahead.`
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
How To Boost Your Focus Level….(2)
This is the continuation of the series we started some days back.
Focusing should be a thing of concern to every individual both children and adults. A man who can't concentrate is less likely to be successful, that is why concentration should be our topmost priority. **Regardless of the wealth you've accumulated**, if you are not focused you could lose them in seconds.
They are so many attributes attached to someone who isn't focus and they include; wasteful, regretful, greedy and arrogant. A man who cannot manage is time properly, might end up using the time for one activity for another. Let's **assume**, he wants to go to the grocery store by 1'oclock, he ends fiddling with his phone till the fixed time expires, he might end up using more time and at the end of it all, he waste his whole day pressing his phone.
Here is a list of steps to follow which will help you maximise your time and increase your focus level;
**6)** **Don't Multitask**
Alot of people wants to get their jobs done with ease and so they tend to carry out multiple task at once. This seems so easy and convenient and looks much like you are conserving time but in real sense you are wasting your time. You have to finish one task before going to the next one. This will help reduce distractions and therefore boost your focus level. You want to study for an examination or you have an appointment with the doctor, it is always advisable you go for the most pressing one first.
That's why, it is necessary you have a scale of preference for all activities. Imagine your friend visiting you and you are studying. Then she comes up with interesting gist while you are trying to study, it's best you close your book and concentrate on her as dismissing her will be too rude. Same thing while driving, it is wrong to answer your calls while on the steering, you may not be able to decipher the kind of message you will be getting from the caller, which could mess with your emotions, thereby reducing your focus level.
**7)** **Maximise the early hours of the day**
We lose track of what time of the day it is while waking up with our mobile phones, wasting meaningful time scrollling through our phones. **It has been proven humans gets to understand better in the morning.** Moments when your brain is still active.
Same time we wake to go on social media and to watch videos on youtube. After exhausting your early hours doing nothing. You are back struggling how to make your day counts, by this time your focus level is really down. And that's why **individuals** struggle to keep up with lost time.
Having a good sleep to maintain the internal body clock is also important. You don't have to stay late in the night, allow your body rest. Maintain sleeping for over **5-6 hours** to **help your brain and boost your focus level.**
**8)** **Have Intermittent Breaks**
I know the workload is too much but trying to finish it on time, also requires you have breaks. The **maximum** duration you need is for 3-4 hours, after which it is required you take a break. This breaks allows your brain assimilate vital information.
Always have it at the back of your mind, **if you don't rest, your body will force you to get one.** So having short breaks while focusing will help boost your concentration level.
I used the think while in school, I do study for 3 hours after which I go on a break. I discovered I was about to recall 80% of what I read. Which to me was a major breakthrough.
Taking short breaks is really important to boost our focus level.
**Conclusion**
High success rate isn't gotten from a disturbed or unsettled mind. It is always required you are focused on what you are doing. And working for long hours will only get you tired and make the work boring. Which reduces the chance for you to be **focused**, but if you introduce short breaks in between, you will achieve a lot.
Another factor you need to consider is your body's **circadian rhythm**, you need to sleep when it is needed, as forcing yourself to focus when your brain needs rest, will only be **detrimental** to both your health and what you were trying to achieve.
Do have a blissful day.
***All images used are from unsplash.com***
How To Boost Your Focus Level….(1)
*Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four-hour in a day ~ Zig Ziglar*
It's a common problem in our world today, seeing people lose track of their activity because of the blink of their screen. We have allowed social media and the friends we made, to distract or slow us down from being productive. Most times it's not really our fault nor that of our friends, fatigue could set in and it will also disrupt productive time.
Today, I will be sharing tips that have helped me in my day-to-day activities and have also made me maximise my time and productivity level. The quote above by zig Ziglar explains the reason why our mates/friends could be more productive than us. It is not due to them having more than 24 hours in a day but the fact that they have stipulated time for each activity in their daily life.
Successful people also have the notification bar on their phones, their screens also blink but what identifies them from others is their ability to manage their time properly. Have you ever wondered why social platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are addictive? Or why do you end up spending more time viewing more videos on YouTube than you expected? The trick is simple: they capture your focus and this will trick your mind to confuse you have a lot of time at hand. About distractions, I am not just basing them on completing tasks, it could also be distractions of making new friends, visiting someone or vocational activities.
Have been using the cues below to maximise my focus level and I am sure it is useful to you also.
**1) Respect What You are Doing:** A lot of people get distracted because they don't value what is on their table. If you don't value it, other people won't and you will end up having a lot to battle with. Your friends who are making noise, your social media notifications and the work you were meant to do. Respecting what we are doing is seen through activities such as being serious with your friends, telling them to give you space as you are busy and will get back to them when you are done. I know they will see you as a bad friend who is just too greedy of spending your time with them. The fact remains you are only doing what is necessary to achieve your goals. A successful person is more valued by friends than someone who has no achievements but spends all day with them. If you don't tell your friends to excuse you to focus, they will one day tell you to do so. The same goes with your notifications and screen blinks, you should put your phone on silent mode and turn the screen facing the table. This will help reduce the number of times, you have to glance at your screen.
**2) Listen To Music Without Lyrics:** Music has a way of connecting the mind and this will help increase productivity by remaining focused. Everyone around me knows I am a big fan of *****Yanni, Enya, Kenny G, and classical and Jazz music***** and it won't be wrong if I recommend it to you also. The trick behind listening to songs without lyrics helps to anchor the mind and prevents it from wandering. If you are listening to music with lyrics, it will reduce your focus level as you may want to follow the musician to sing the lyrics, which is another means of distracting yourself.
**3) Flight/Hibernate Mode:**They are moments when you want to perform an activity and your mind is filled with the time you spent with your friends, how you bought ice cream and had fun while you wanted to study or design a portrait. Or you could just remember a message you didn't reply to on your social media, all this is powered by your mind to distract you from concentrating on the task at hand.
We are familiar with what proceeds after we press the flight/hibernate option on our phone or computer. It blocks signals from entering our device and this helps to conserve energy and increase battery life. Though our device is blocked from receiving signals, they are still On. This explains why we need to activate such a mode in our mind and body to enable us to focus. As unwanted thoughts will be blocked from our minds. Achieving this goal is the most difficult step but when you train your mind, you could achieve it in a couple of minutes. Learn to discipline your thoughts and be attentive to what lies at hand.
**4) Find Your Rhythm:** I had a friend in college that enjoyed studying in a noisy environment while I was the opposite of her. Trying to adapt to my friend's style of studying could be detrimental to my academic success. What I did was disengage every reading activity with her. We could go to the cinema together, get ice cream, we did all other activities together but when it comes to studying we go our separate ways. I discovered studying with her, increased my anxiety level and kept me under unnecessary pressure. And this could also occur to any of us, rather than try to adapt to methods you know too well are not beneficial to you, find your rhythm. No two persons are meant to be alike in every aspect, find what's beneficial to you and will make you more focused and concentrate. They are people whose concentration levels increase when they carry out activities while taking snacks, which could also be helpful to you.
**5) Be Purpose Driven:** A man of purpose is a fulfilled man, I know you are wondering how. If you know your main aim of carrying out an activity either for monetary gain like on this platform were we get rewarded by the @TheRandomRewarder , fame or knowledge, it will help boost your concentration level. Making it easier to achieve your goals. What I do most of the time I to list out my goals and write out the purpose I want to achieve. Let's assume, I want to study. My goal is to study 'Pathology' and the purpose of studying it is to make a good doctor. The purpose is what will make me more focused, rather than concentrate on your goal, be purpose-driven, this will help boost your focus level.
***To be continued….***
***Lead image: unsplash.com***
You Are Perfect, Shake Off The Negativity
Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. André Gide
Hello beautiful people, happy new month to everyone, I trust August will be the best month of our lives. Am glad we made it this far.
Had a hectic day, so I wasn't free to post. A colleague of mine complained bitterly to me about her 12 years old daughter. Who has refused to attend school, for reasons unknown to us? I offered to speak with her at the closure of work today. I think she is fond of me, I saw how happy she was when she saw me. After much persuasion, she told me, that her friends do laugh at her because of her body size. I was listening to her keenly making sure I didn't interrupt. Remember a good listener will make a good actor. When she was done, I told her my version of childhood bullying. I was also chubby and people used to mock me. It got to me at first, but just like the story of the horse that was to be buried alive. I shook off every annoying comment and made a step out of the pit I dug for myself. I felt lying low will stir them away but it kept drawing them close. When I stood to face my fears, I knocked off their laughs.
I began to focus on myself, I began to excel in my academics which gave me an edge over all my classmates. No one has any right to make you feel bad about yourself, you don't have to stay yourself to acquire that perfect body shape. All that you will become isn't in your body but all lies in your mindset. It lies within. The most beautiful things are not those seen, so why bother yourself to please everyone? She smiled and hugged me. I believe she will face her just like I did.
To everyone out there, having difficulties blending I'm her world because of her body size, looks or appearance. It's so disappointing that the world standard of being beautiful is having a slim body. Beauty shouldn't be measured by our looks but by how much we can offer. What makes a man beautiful is its impact on his immediate environment. Go out and show the world how beautiful you are. You were made for this. Face your fears now.
Have a blissful night's rest, my eyes are almost closing.
Lead image : unsplash.com
Ladies Corner : How To Make Your Man Desire You More
*If your love story Doesn't gets interesting as the day passes, then something is missing in the story - Dr. Wrinkle*
Hello beautiful ladies, how are you all doing ? Lately have become a love expert and am loving it, as it is also helping me in my relationship. Today, was set aside strictly for ladies and I know some men will come to spy on us. No problem, they are all welcomed. Chuckles!
The topic for today's article could also be rephrase as *'how to make your man get addicted to you'* but literally, it may not sound well, as we do attribute addiction to non animate things like phone, games and habits Such as smoking etc.
But have you ever thought of why people gets addicted to those thinks listed above ? It is because of the value and happiness derived from them. We get addicted to our phones because of the different pleasures we could get from it, from social networking to playing games and if such individuals are on sites that pays like this platform. So addiction comes out of personal interest, what we derive from what we are doing.
**How then can our man get addicted to us?**
Have stories of how people use charms and love spells to make their partner desire them the more but today, am going to list just a few techniques have used over the years and it is really working for me. I know that male folks are listening too, they could also apply this techniques in their relationship. Here is a list of them ;
**1) Make The Relationship Lively** : This sounds weird to some ladies, as they think it is the duty of the man to be the entertainer, the comedian and the one requesting they go on tours and road walk. Ladies, can we also take up this rules, in my previous series, I made mentioned of how I make my partner laugh so hard each time I try singing for him, it gets to a point whenever he is Moody and we aren't together, he will always call me just for me to sing for him. Yours might no be a funny voice, it could be a melodious one, try also singing for him. About 80% of humans loves music And am sure your partner falls among them. If you can't sing, it's okay, how about you try new recipe when you are together, or go for a walk together, all this creates indelible memories on his mind. No man will want to lose someone, who meets him at his lowest, tries to cheer him up whenever he is down, and who creates time for him. You can also engage in outdoor activities and playing of games together is another interesting thing. I once asked my fiance friend the type of woman, he will want to get married to. I was stunned when he told me '*someone who will play PES, god of war and PUBG with me without feeling bored'* it was a funny criteria for me, because not all ladies loves such game. I asked him '*what if she can't play those games you mention' he responded 'then she should be there to cheer me, she should be my cheerleader'* .
Wow! This means even when you don't know how to play his favorite game, you Can still hang around to cheer him up when he plays them. When you can't sing his favorite song and he does, always applaud him, it means a lot to me. Even when my fiance laughs at me, he still tells me how lovely my voice is, which I know, he is just kidding.
**2) Know Your Worth :** This is very vital in relationships and should be duly observed. Before I go on to explain, let me ask a question, **You went into a jewelry store and bought two watches of which both are not of same price, watch A is worth $30 while watch B is worth $120. Which of those watches will you really value ?**
I know everyone will go for watch B because of it's price tag and so will every man value you based on the principles and standard you've kept.
In today's world it is called playing hard to get, of which in some cases don't turn out well but if asked for my opinion, I will advice you play hard to get. You are worth every stress you put your man through, he can't just have everything on a platter of gold, if he does, am afraid he may not value you. No matter how much you love him and he is asking you out, just say no, the first time. It isn't to scare him away but to know how serious he is. If he persist, then you move on the next step. My fiance still talk about our first kiss, it wasn't an easy one. He requested for a kiss on our first date, which was cool by me but I only wanted being sure, he didn't just ask me out to kiss me and walk away. So I made him answer a lot of questions, and even told him, we could only kiss after one month of being together. I thought that will scare him away or get him pissed off, but it didn't, rather it got him more closer to me. And when we had our first kiss, it was worth it and he still cherish that moment. Give your man your reasons politely, '*ssorry darling, am reserving this special item, as a gift on your next birthday, or am reserving my kiss for someone who will love and cherish me sincerely, it might take up to a two months'* Your partner if he is really serious and interested will respect your decision. This makes a man desire you the more, because they can't get enough of you. Don't throw yourself at them so freely, as they will get tired when they are done exploring you. Have some self reservation and make this know to your man. If this is done, he used and dump me stories, won't be heard, because he worked himself to get what you gave to him, it wasn't for free.
**3) Appreciation :** I will keep on emphasizing on this point, as it is the sweetener in my own relationship. Ladies learn to appreciate your man. This could involve you getting him a gift, sending him a cute love message or even a picture of you when he least expects. Don't wait until he does something for you, you could text him randomly, thanking him for being a part of your life. Text them in the midst of a busy schedule and watch your simple text do the magic. They are other ways of appreciating your man, from wet kisses to love making and even random hugs. They all points to the fact, you admire and cherish his presence in your life.
Finally, if you want to make your man desire you the more, learn to be independent. All men loves a lady that will take decisions, get groceries with or without assistance. This proves to him, with or without him, your life will still be worth living. He won't want to lose you.
Do take care of your heart, flee from abusive and energy sapping relationships, don't force or beg for love. Love is natural and it flows on its own.
Do have a wonderful night rest!
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When Love Isn't Enough
*my darling I treasure you above all things, I promise to love and cherish you all my days but when love isn't enough, I promise to give myself, my all and everything I ever treasured - Dr. Wrinkle*
It's so good when we fall in love and be loved back, that's the simple rule of relationship. But this form of love is becoming archaic, everyone now gets bonded not just for being in a relationship but also for other benefits.
Couples are falling apart, not because of lack of love but they are just bored, they have nothing else to offer. Relationships based on just love suffer a lot of setbacks, ever thought about. What will happen if you wake up and love is no longer enough, what else will you give ?
If I am asked this question, I will smile and say all that is on my mind. Before we venture into the unwinding journey called relationship, we need to have back up plans, lots of activities set out to buttress our love story. A relationship based on love grows but when other elements are added, it grows stronger and better. Here are my list of what I will give when love isn't enough anymore ;
**1)My Prayers :** Everyone knows the benefits of prayers and how lovely it is, when we know someone somewhere is praying for us. Most times you just have to hold hands with your partner and pray for them. Pray for their success, pray for new ideas and goals of accomplishment. Pray for a better lasting relationship. You don't need to be a prayer warrior before you do this, simple prayers could rekindle love flames that were already going low. There is no sweet feeling like calling your partner, just to give them assurance of them getting the job for the interview they are preparing for, having a fulfilled day because you prayed for it. My darling, when my love bank is exhausted, I will give you my prayers.
2) **My Money :** Ladies giving your partner your money doesn't mean you are weak or too desperate to sustain the relationship, it shows how much you value it. It might not necessarily mean giving your partner all your money, but being there for them at the point of their need. Going out for lunch, you can always show interest in paying for it. Out of rent, you could also assist in paying for it. Relationships are far from romance and s^x, it is a union and in such a union a lot of things have to be shared, even our finances. And always seek their permission to settle bills, especially for the ladies, as most men see it as a sign of weakness.
I still remember the day we went out for lunch on our first date, after we might have finished and the bill was handed to us, I glanced at it and whispered politely, I will like to assist. He accepted and I handed half of the bill to him. Till date, he is still talking about it. At Least if we run out of love in our love bank, we still have a memory to hold.
3) **My Good Deed :** Have you ever thought of how your good deeds, behavior and attitude could really affect your relationship, either positively or negatively. The little kindness you showed to someone and they say good things about you could be of positive impact on your relationship. Let's assume, you helped a poor woman in your street, and while taking a walk with your partner, she stops both of you just to express her gratitude again and tells your partner of how nice you are, they Will be happy and proud of you. Or inviting them to your office end of year party, and your employer and colleagues says good things about you, how nice and hardworking you are, that Could make them not want to lose you. So when love is no more to give, I will give my good deeds.
4) **My Time :** When the love bank is exhausted and your partner is already running out of patience with you, why not give them extra time. Be there for them at their lowest time. If it's a long distance relationship, calls, text and video calls could be a way of spending quality time with your partner. Don't wait until they do so, if both of you can cultivate this habit, then when love is exhausted, your time with your partner will keep your relationship going.
5) **Assurance :** When a relationship isn't going well. The first step is to realize the problem and try to solve it. Discuss it with your partner, and try to see how it could be fixed. Hey! Babe, it's been a month, we both laughed together, went swimming or hung out. I know things ain't smooth between us, but I assure you, we can fix it. Everyone wants to hear these words. We can fix it, explain, you valued the relationship.
When love isn't enough, you need to find a way to save your relationship. It doesn't matter who is at the receiving end, all that matters is how much was given and did it ever make any difference. Stay blessed today.
Let me hear from my readers, if love isn't enough in your relationship, what else can you give ?
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Signs That Your Romantic Relationship Won't Last ….. (2)
" *there is no perfect relationship, everyone is struggling with a demon, don't let the happy faces or couples holding hands at the mall confuse you…. Dr. Wrinkle.*
This is a continuation of the series I started yesterday about being watchful for signs in your relationship which will make it not last. Everyone wants a happy relationship, as people are tired of moving from one unstable one to another.
Here are signs to watch out for, in a relationship that won't last;
6) **Lack of Trust :** Trust is like a padlock that opens other version of your partner. When this key is misplaced, getting into such a room is always difficult unless the lock is destroyed. Same is compared to a relationship when either of the partner is feeling insecured. Your partner begins to question your every move, reading your chats and receiving your calls. He/she becomes uncomfortable when the opposite gender calls you. Tries to check up on you whenever you arenot around, though this could be mistaken for love at the early stage, but with time you will get to know how serious this issue could be. Lack of trust breeds insecurity.
7) **Constant Fights :** The main ingredient in a relationship is misunderstanding but when it becomes too much and too draining, it becomes a thing you should worry about. I didn't say quarrels aren't part of a relationship, in fact worry more if your partner doesn't quarrel with you. It means they are not being sincere with you.
Even the happiest couples do fight, but what differentiates theirs is when they fix it that same day. Whereas in your own case, you do have long and endless fights, which saps and drain you constantly. It is not a good signal, its either your relationship will end or it has already ended.
8) **Treats Others Rudely :** How is this really a thing of concern right ? It is and it should be considered as one. Your partner's true character is displayed with his dealings with others. Especially people of low level like waiters, taxi drivers and gas attendants. If they constantly yells, treat others badly or a rude to them, then it is a signal when you are in the right phase, you won't like how he will treat you. Your partner can't be rude to others without doing same to you, then something isn't right, if it happens that way. They are hiding their true behavior from you.
9) **Wrong Timing :** This is another signal your relationship won't last, if your partner's goal and yours are conflicting, then worry about your relationship. When they are still too focus on their career, studies or business, then the timing of the relationship wasn't appropriate, especially when they see it as a waste of time or something done so they won't hurt you. Relationships were meant to be valued, though am not saying, valued above your self development.
10) **Serial Cheaters :** How do you intend to cope in such a relationship where your partner keeps on being a jerk. Cheating is a more serious factor in our world today, relationships are destroyed by it regularly. Having multiple partners is a sign of dishonesty, lack of respect and will reduce the trust level to a minimum.
**Conclusion**
Perfection is a myth and shouldn't be looked for in a relationship, but that doesn't mean things shouldn't be done the right way in our relationship. Always be on the lookout for constant red flags, if they are solvable you discuss it with your partner, if they are not, it's better to walk away while you could or stand to bear the pains of moving on.
Do have a lovely day.
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Signs That Your Romantic Relationship Won't Last.... (1)
'*The worst pain isn't that of child birth but putting your all in a relationship and all your got is an heartbreak. - Dr. Wrinkle.*
Following my previous series of how to make your relationship romantic, today I will be discussing on an entirely different topic. Everyone wants a happy and fulfilled relationship, void of quarrels, heart breaks, fights and chaos. Most times what we dream of doesn't come to reality or last. And we are left in the dark once again, the once person who makes you happy, smile and cheerful is now the person whose appearance gives you a sudden lump in your throat.
Most times we often ignore those little signals at the beginning of our relationship, forgetting those signs points to someone quite serious. The usual love proverb 'love is blind' comes to play. This is a period were I refer to as the 'emotional surge era' . No matter how your partner behaves, you will not see fault and you won't complain because the love is still fresh and its glowing. The next era is 'Emotional Balance Era', during this period you get to notice your partner's flaws but still carried away by your relationship. You are in a confuse state and so continues in your relationship.
The last phase is 'Emotional Deficit era' , period where all signs and little mistakes you overlooked before becomes so vital and magnified. Relationships entering this phase are often preserved through understanding and also with changes from the partner. Today I will be listing out signs that a relationship won't last, and I want you all to read knowing what listed below are not 100% guaranteed, which means you don't have to walk out of your relationship if your partner does them but you could, if it becomes an habit in your relationship.
1)**If It Is Based On Romance Alone** : If we could recall in my previous series I had mentioned, relationships without romance is bound to fail, and here am also telling us, relationship based on romance is a sign it won't last. This statement clarifies the saying too much of everything becomes a problem. Basing your relationship only on kisses, hugs, s*x without other things to complement it may not last. This shows that relationship also requires other factors to relate with, like sharing a common goal, interest or having other things done together. You stand the chance of losing out, when all you offer is your body (pardon me) but someday your partner will be tired of it. So Let they be other things shared together between both parties. It could be music, choice of career or food. You don't need to base it on romance alone.
2) **Their Friends Irritates You :** it is often said show me your friend and I will tell who you are. The beginning of a relationship flaws, behaviors and attittludes could be hid totally but most times your partner's friends may not want to change or pretend when they share moments with both of you. They still talk, behave and act the way they do, without being concern about your presence while your partner acts all holy and innocent. Because of this, you tend to dislike his friends, scared they might corrupt your good partner. Permit me to ask you this, what if your partner is their leader what will you do?. In most cases it turns out your partner is worst than them, that could make your happy relationship hit rock bottom.
3) **Indecisiveness :** Previous series suggested you spending much time with your partner, doing a lot of things together. This could be a threat to your relationship when all your decisions and actions are engineered by your partner. Nobody wants to spend their life with someone, who can't make decisions on their own. Am not saying you should be independent but try to give useful ideas and suggestions when needed. Am sorry I just love talking about my man, we take decisions from our collective ideas. I still remember when we wanted renting an apartment, he chose a location which I didn't liked, I had to tell him and give him my reasons. He saw they were authentic and had to get it in another location. You don't have to accept all what your partner puts to you, learn to give reason for your refusal. And please do it in a way, you don't hurt each other's feelings.
4) **The Love Is One Sided** : No matter how much you love each other, there is always bound to be a party who loves the other the more. This results from us, having different mindsets, emotions and priorities. When this gap becomes too glaring then insecurity sets in. Nobody wants to stay in such a relationship where one party doesn't return something similar to the same amount of time and affection. Everyone gets jealous at some point. I can't be doing all the texting or callings while you are just there. One day I will be tired and leave.
5) **Wants To Change Everything About You :** There is song by pink sweats$ "at my worst" which expresses how individuals will want to be treated by their partner. Everyone has flaws, challenges and different personalities but when your partner keeps on showing displeasure and always wants you to be perfect, looks perfect, then you are not in a relationship but some form of mental stress. Am not saying you should bundle all your bad behaviors and characters to someone, all am talking about here is changing your appearance, fashion taste and sometimes hobbies just to fit into your partner's taste. Of course if you have bad behaviors like excessive alcohol, multiple partners and other bad traits, you should change for the smooth sailing of your relationship.
Imagine eating too much so to gain weight or losing too much weight just to fit into their desired features of a partner. It is absolutely unacceptable but please learn to change bad habits and addictions, if you can't change alone, explain it to your partner and they will assist your shed such habits off.
*To be continued……*
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An Avocado A Day Will Keep The Doctor Away
Hello beautiful people, hope you all are having a good time with family and friends. Really been an hectic weekend for me, but all the same I had remarkable moments.
Today we want to discuss a fruit, which is often undervalued, maybe because its name doesn't sound interesting like apple, berry and other popular fruits.
It's often said an apple a day will keep the doctor away. It's true since we know the nutritional value of apples, same thing with avocados. Though I know many apple lovers won't want to accept this fact. If you really ask me, a fruit that can take up many body tasks, I will simply scream avocado. I called it the 'king of all fruit' .
The argument of avocado being a fruit or a vegetable is still on, but I rather stick to calling it a fruit.
Today I will be listing the health benefits of the avocado, I hope it's useful to you ;
1) **Skin Maintenance** : Avocado has been proven to contain vitamin C and E which plays a crucial function in the maintenance of skin texture and appearance. The vitamin C contains collagen and elastin which helps in preventing the skin from sagging and increasing its elasticity while the vitamin E plays a role in the anti aging of the skin and also prevents us from the effect of excessive sun exposure. This is exciting news for all those who wants to keep a smooth and glowing skin. It contains antioxidants which helps in detoxifying bacteria, so it could also be applied on the face to cure acne.
2) **Nutritional Value** ; Avocado is rich in fibers, vitamin B, C and E. It also contains magnesium, potassium, magnesium, folate and other nutrients, which are involved in the biological function of the body.
3) **Weight Loss :** I told you one avocado a day will keep the doctor away. For all those finding natural treatment for excessive weight. I present to you an avocado. It contains fiber, and its known food rich in fibers helps in weight loss and increases satiety. Avocado also helps in burning belly fat.
4) **Decreases Blood Pressure** : since it contains potassium, avocado helps in the reduction and maintenance of blood pressure in hypertensive patients. This is achieved by decreasing the number of low density fatty acids from clumping to the arterial vessels and causing congestion while it increases the level of high density fatty acid which helps in the free flow of blood.
5) **Increases Liver Function** : The nutrients in avocado enhances the function of the liver. Increases the production of glutathione. It also enhances the removal of dead cells and detoxification of compounds.
6) **Reduces Cancerous Cells** : Reports show that patients who are on avocado diets, reduce the rate at which cancerous cells multiply in the body. This was seen in some cancerous cells in the breast and prostate.
**Conclusion**
Avocado is not just a fruit of choice but a medicine to keep the doctor away for a day. Regular intake of avocado is advised but restricted in patients with high levels of serum potassium (hyperkalemia) . In such people, the intake of avocado should be properly monitored.
I really wants to appreciate @porsche for being my newest sponsor today. I really appreciate your trust. Thanks so much
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How To Build A Happy Romantic Relationship… (2)
*Love is far from the butterflies we feel whenever we see someone, love is that feeling that ignites and unites two hearts together - Dr. Wrinkle*
*The best love story wasn't the one told in the titanic neither the one told by Shakespeare, the best love story is the one created by us - My man to me on my last birthday.*
This is the continuation of the series I started yesterday. Am so happy for the comments gotten, it meant a lot to me, shows how much everyone wants to be in love and be loved. Here is a list of things to do to spice up your romantic relationship;
8) **Appreciation** : Showing gratitude in all the things your partner does will help make them feel valued. Say thank you after a nice meal, gift received or just wake up and thank them for being a part of your life. That will spark a feeling of belonging. I can't recall the number of times, I called my man just to tell him thank you. And when he ask for a reason, I just tell him, I don't know. Thank you isn't enough for someone who makes you smile, happy or defend you in your weakest moments.
9) **Compose Poems And Send To Them** : You don't have to be a poet to achieve this. Just scribble anything romantic, even if it's just 'am lucky to have you' and send it to them. If you both stay together, place such poems in strategic points, where it can be easily seen by them. It won't be a bad idea, if your partner sees a romantic on pasted in the washroom, kitchen or their favorite couch. You could also send it to them through text messages or phone calls. You can't imagine that feeling of reading a romantic poem to your partner and watch them blush all through.
10) **Don't Go To Bed, Mad At Each Other** : No matter how lucky you are in your relationship they is always bound to be days, you will get into hot arguments. Sometimes raising voices at each other, its okay that way. What's not right is going to bed still angry. I won't sleep the whole night, and I want you to feel that way too. You shouldn't be comfortable sleeping when you know you had a heated argument during the day. Most times, we may not know what's going through our partner's mind. They could feel unloved and it breeds insecurity.
11) **Respect Your Partner** : A relationship with out respect is like a ship with a sailor. The driving force of a relationship is how well you value and respect your partner. Let's keep aside being of same age, having same qualifications when it comes to relationship, we need to respect our partners. Avoid things that will make them angry, unloved or even worried. If you really love your partner you will learn to respect them. Be attentive to what they dislike and always try to avoid doing them.
12) **Say Hello, Goodnight, Goodbye When Necessary :** the little things we do to spice up our relationships could just be an hello. Be intentional when you say them and not just for saying sake. Give hugs and kisses when necessary, you don't have to be rigid in your relationship. In most romance movie scenes, goodbyes said by partners is always tearjerking especially when they are said if the partner is going away.
13) **Never Stop Saying I Love You :** Those amazing words has a way to get to us, especially when said the right way. You can't say 'I love you' when you know you are not serious. At times you don't just have to say the words, you also need to express how much you love them. Surprise them with new languages, my boyfriend is a German, though am not. We never tried learning our languages. But he was shocked the day I expressed my feelings to him in his language. That's another way of showing them they matter. I love you is like a fire extinguisher in a burning house, it restores calmness to a troubled mind. It helps drive away uncertainty, insecurity from the mind of your partner.
14) **Physical Contact :** Hugs and kisses have a way of improving our relationship. If you are going to the mall with your partner, It won't be a bad idea to hold hands, help her to push the cart or even try to get something off her hair or face. Show them that you care and be there for them. Whenever my partner wraps his arms around me, I feel so secured. Do same with your partner, give them the security they crave.
15) **Maintain A Good S^x Life :** A lot of people will shy aware from this, pretending it doesn't matter. But the truth remains, if you can't satisfy your partner during such moments, they could lose interest in the relationship. Spice up your relationship with new styles, words. Learn what turns them on, and try to do them. Don't be shy while having the good time, you can make funny sounds for all I care, its not a crime and it doesn't make you a bad person. Rather gives your partner that feeling of satisfaction.
Also in the aspect of people who wants to maintain abstinence till they are married, discuss this with your partner before going into the relationship. This will reduce their chances of them cheating.
We have come to the end of our series, am so happy, you followed till the end. Hit me up with your questions and suggestions using the comment box.
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How To Build A Happy Romantic Relationship… (1)
*Love is beautiful when two heart's receive equal and quality dose of treatment but ugly when it is one sided - Dr. Wrinkle*
The greatest fulfilment when it comes to a relationship is to love and be loved back. That's the reason while some relationships grow stronger while others vanish into thin air with time. We often get thrilled when we watch romantic movies where partner's do a lot of stuff for each other and wished it was us. I still remember being jealous of Rose and Jack in the movie **titanic** till date. So beautiful it was, that's how it feels when we practice love the right way. Little things really matter when it comes to building a stable and comfortable romantic relationship, alot of sacrifices has to be made.
I will be discussing on few tips, which will be effective in augmenting your relationship, stay glued to your screen as I become your relationship coach for today;
**1) Communication** : This is an undeniable factor in building a happy and long lasting relationship. Aside relationships, we all know how important it is to talk to people, it helps us socialize, share our problems and get help too. If you don't communicate, how will you tend to enlarge your circle of friends. In relationships communication is key, being able to express yourself freely without feeling of being judge by your partner is necessary. Learn to share your day to day activities with your partner, negative thoughts, plans, fear and weird feelings too. Surprise calls and messages is really a neccessity in building a long lasting relationship. If there is any habit or lifestyle you don't like in your partner, rather than keep silence, talk to them about it. They shouldn't be any secrets as this could ruin your relationship.
2) **Have Common Goals** : Nothing makes a relationship interesting when partners share a lot of thing in common, ranging from music, movies and choice of foods. It makes the relationship move smoothly without hitches. They could be instances where they could be a clash of interest and in such instances, I will advice both parties come to mutual agreement. You don't have to assume, your partner will dance to your tune, talk about it and they should be mutual understanding. Assuming you love sleeping with the lights on while your partner doesn't, both of you could still device a means of sleeping without one person depriving the other of a sound sleep. Which includes one party having to sleep before the other, sleeping under thick duvets or having clothes tied around your eyes. All this is to have a happy relationship, most times when your partners sees your level of sacrifice, they could also yield to your demand. In relationships, both parties were meant to be comfortable, love and be loved, when this privilege is jeopardize, it will breed feelings of not being loved enough.
3) **Give Attention To Little Details** : I do tell people of you want a happy relationship, then you need to pay close attention to it. Minding every slight change in mood, character, attitude of your partner. Don't say it doesn't matter, it does. Everyone has things bugging them and not everytime they want to intentionally share, you need to ask, show you care and watch them be open to you. I do have mood swings and other times I just fake them just to know if still his baby, and sure he will keep on asking until I tell him the problem. So we shouldn't ignore those little mood swings, cold chats and dull messages, enquire what the problem is. Also pay close attention to what your partner's like, their favorite food, colour, genre of music and movies. Nothing beats surprise gifts from loved ones, it shows you care. Though I don't like football but due to my relationship, I and my partner do watch it together, and am currently a Real Madrid fan because that is the team he supports. (Hala Madrid). And he doesn't miss watching animal documentary with me even though its boring.
4) **Compliment Each Other**: Hearing those beautiful words from your partner is capable of sending butterfly on a flying parade in your tummy. It doesn't only strengthen your relationship but also helps to boost self esteem. Tell them how lucky you are to have them, be sincere while making compliment as unserious words could hurt your partner. Compliment them on hair, clothes, meals prepared by them. This sends the right signal to them. They are days, I wake to call my partner, just to tell him how handsome he looks and that usually gets him, I could hear him giggle in the other side of his phone. Be sure to send the right signal always.
5) **Share Chores Together :** This sounds a little bit old fashion but doing chores together is another way to express your love. Choose days, maybe weekends when everyone is less busy and prepare a meal together. Engage in tidying the house, washing of clothes. Remember, all this activities are to be done by both parties. And always compliment your partner whenever necessary.
6) **Create Happy moments When You Are Together** : You don't need to be a comedian to make your partner happy, no need for jokes if you can't crack one but always try to maintain a happy mood when you are together. I know I have a funny voice, so each time am with him, I will try to sing for him and he will end up laughing and I do laugh too, this helps to lighten our mood. It's not a crime to tease your partner, remembering past mistakes and laughing together. If you are good at cracking jokes please do, if you have a terrible voice like mine also use it too.
7) **Understand Each Other's Love Language** : There are different forms of love languages and your partner's own could be different. Love language refers to things that makes one feel loved. This is where communication is needed, ask about what makes them happy. Early morning calls, text could be their own love language. Surprise dinners, coffee, gifts and even laughing could also be a love language. And please learn to spend quality time with your partner, that could be all they need to affirm your love for them.
*To be continued.....*
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The Right Way To Losing Weight
I sincerely apologize for my absence on this amazing platform, it was never intentional, I had some mood swings which I had to deal with. The market signals are becoming great, I hope everyone is having a wonderful time out there. I missed everyone, and I promise to read all your beautiful articles.
Most times when you have a lot on your mind, and you can't think straight anymore, you just need to rest. Thanks to everyone who responded accurately to my last article which was just a rant, at first I was scared to air out my feeling but I realize if I don't, it was going to make me happy. Amazing how I discovered a new method of staying happy, discover what makes you sad and work towards it. If it will require you discussing it, please do, it might not get your problem solved but it will give you a relief.
Today's article will be focused on Losing weight the right way. I know a lot of people are wondering what is the right way of losing weight other than regular exercises and controlling the amount of calories one takes. Excessive weight gain is one of the dreaded problems experienced in our world today. It could be due to our profession, choice of a partner or even fashion. Everyone thinks having a normal weight is just for fashion but it goes beyond it.
It prevents us from developing a lot of diseases which I will only list without explaining them, but anyone is free to ask me any question in the comment box. Being overweight is a risk factor to obesity, cardiovascular disorders, hypertension, non alcoholic fatty liver and even sleeping disorders like obstructive sleep apnea. These are a list of a few of the many reasons dieticians advice people to stay off being overweight.
**How To Lose Weight The Right Way**
We are so used to this procedure of monitoring what we eat, checking their calories content and doing tedious exercises. Most times this doesn't work, as these are not the factors to consider when trying to lose weight.
Recently there was an experiment carried out in our facility, ten mice whose weight were measured, were isolated and fed with the same quantity and quality of food for a period of one month. After the experiment, their weight was checked again. It was discovered some mice gained weight while others didn't. What could be the cause of this partial weight gain? Three phenomenon were used to explain this;
It is often said that when energy consumed exceeds energy expended, there is going to be weight gain and vice versa. This theory still holds true but was questionable after the experiment on the mice. Certain factors were considered like the genetics, hormones, micro flora of the guts and type of diet.
Our body plays a major role in weight gain or loss. The hypothalamus which is a center for hunger and satiety controls the amount of food consumed. In cases of destruction to the part of the hypothalamus responsible for satiety, such an individual is bound to consume more food and it will definitely lead to weight gain. It also controls the amount of weight gained or loss since it is designed as a gauge, which measures the amount of weight of the body. Anything below the gauge will lead to a refill, this explains the tremendous increase in weight even after losing so much weight. It is a compensatory mechanism by our brain.
Another factor to consider is the nature of the microflora in our guts. These refer to microorganisms which help in the breakdown of food particles for absorption, when there are a limited number of these microorganisms, they are going to gain weight. This explains a situation where two sisters eat the same quality and quantity if food has different weights.
Another factor to consider is the nature of food we consume. Constant feeding on processed food will result in weight gain, as this food contains more sugar and preservatives. Maintaining a healthy diet of natural food like vegetables, cereals and dairy products will help in your fight against weight gain.
Having quality sleeping time, overworking your brain and not getting enough sleep, will lead to weight gain, as your body will require the consumption of more food.
**Conclusion**
Considering all these factors discussed above, one could deduce that losing weight is more than just regular exercises and cutting down on our calories intake. It also involves certain other factors which we could also control like having quality sleep, Minimizing our intake of processed food (junks inclusive) and being active rather than living a sedentary lifestyle.
Hello Rusty, Even The Tiniest Effort Deserves A Compensation
Really wants to appreciate everyone who took out time to respond to my previous article, about God caring for us. Am sorry if I had sounded a little bit ungrateful or just too biased to realize that the life I live is God's precious gift. All the comments made me feel better though am still trying to get myself.
Today am here to rant and I hope you will bear with me. Have come to realize even the biggest passion becomes longstanding when there is appraisal. When I was a child, each time the session ends and the successful students are called to the podium to be awarded for their hard work.
I was not always called, mum will always return home though angry but she will always cover up with a smile. It went on for sometime, until she began to appreciate my little win. At every end of the session, she will always take me to the dress shop to get me a new dress,congratulating me for having completed the session. It meant a lot to me and then I decided to stay focus and study harder. I became the best out of being praised for my little win.
I was wrong to rebuke others for writing for tips or not writing with enough passion. I was wrong to shut them off, making them feel they were ordinary beggars looking for a way to source there daily bread. I was so wrong, and am pleading with everyone to forgive me.
He hasn't visited my articles for quite some days now and am already losing focus. Not me writing for the tips but writing because I was always applauded.
Am really sorry to friends I hurt with my earlier actions, I never knew being rewarded by rusty was not just for monetary gain alone, but was also a pat in the back telling you nice work, you wrote well today. Now all my articles am confused if I ever got it right, didn't I use the right words or my punctuations weren't properly placed ? Was I too quick to judge others and did that give rusty a wrong impression about me already.
Passion without compensation, leads to reduction in services, am so down right now and don't even know what to write anymore. Am so happy for everyone who tips me, it's really encouraging, I must confess, but when I don't get that notification by rusty, it makes me worry and fidget.
Dear @TheRandomRewarder , I never wanted writing this in the first place, but it seems am losing out of your random visits, maybe not in tips but if they could be a notification also for the number of times you read an article maybe I would have been relaxed, knowing fully well I didn't do welll by to put in more effort. If only you could comment on articles too, just to tell us how you feel about our writings, maybe we could change, because right now, I lack the courage to carry on.
Just waiting for your honest response @TheRandomRewarder .
Does God Really Care
Hello beautiful people, I hope you all are having a wonderful time out there. The thought of all that is going on in the cryptoverse has really gotten me worried, depressed and alittle bit out of courage.
Last week, I got a call from home that a friend of mine who just got married 2 months ago, was suddenly knocked down by a moving car. Further information stated, She was knocked down by a drunk driver on her way to the mall. I begin to ponder on the whole incident. This is a friend who we talked to almost everyday, she was my best friend and now she is gone. Someone I do share my worries and secrets with, a friend who was always there even when I didn't need her. I know her husband was confused after telling me this, because all I could say was, thank you Dave, I will get back to you.
How was I to get back to him? I never had any supernatural power to raise the dead, am only human, endowed with weaknesses. One of my many weakness was the lose of a loved one, yes! Have been so scared but here I was receiving the very news I dreaded. How was I to get back to him and his infant. I ended the call but then I couldn't think straight, life was never going to be the same again.
Then I asked myself, why was she at that position when God knows she will be hit by a drunk driver? Why ? What happens to Our Lord's prayer,"Deliver us from all evil". Maybe it wasn't potent in every situation or rather, it lost its grip when it had to do with my friend. After much pondering, crying and murmuring, I remember a popular scripture read at almost every funeral I attended 'A time to born, and a time to die'. I came to realized everything on earth has a reason but I still find it difficult to convince myself, they was a reason for her death.
Days to come, this tears will still not dry, I really wish I was with her to tell her how much I loved her. I really wish I was there to make her unddrstand how special she was to me, I really miss my friend, even though it's just two days she left.Am really sorry for bringing this up here, she was more of a sister to me, and ever since she left, I feel like my world is crumbling down.
@TheRandomRewarder come and read my article
Health Talk With Dr Wrinkle : The Brain Eating Amoeba
A beautiful Sunday eve to everyone, hope you are enjoying your weekend and no swimming in untreated pools, river and lakes. Am sure you must be wondering why the swimming part. Had a research, I have been working on for a couple of days now, tagged 'The Brain eater' . Really an interesting material to work on. The disease caused by this brain eating monster is called "Primary Amoebic Meningoencephalitis or Naegleriasis.
Today I will be sharing my knowledge with you on the topic above. To a layman it seems impossible, because how on earth will a tiny creature like amoeba, invade the human brain, when we have a well functioning immune system.
**Tell Us, About The Brain Eating Amoeba**
The amoeba is a single cell orgnaism, of the eukaryote kingdom. The specie I will be discussing on is the Naegleria Fowleri, a thermophilic organism which thrives in warm fresh water, lakes and river up to a temperature of 45°C and also in contaminated water bodies like swimming pools, water pipes, and spas. They are not found in salt water, so you can't find this organisms in oceans, salty lakes or other water bodies. They have 3 life cycles which suits their habitats and mode of survivals.
Their original food source includes bacteria and other zooplanktons and never interested in humans as food.
**Mention The 3 life cycles of the Organism**
Naegleria Fowleri reproduces by cell division, a form of asexual reproduction common to many unicellular organism. It has 3 life cycle which suits its mode of survival;
**i) Cyst** : The organism changes to this form whenever the environment isn't suitable for survival.
**ii) Trophozoite** : This is the active and harmful stage of the organism. Replication is actively carried out in this stage. It is found in the human brain.
**iii) Flagellate** : This form is the stage in between the cyst and trophozoite. It is found outside the human body. It is characterized by the presence of two flagella.
Remember, the organism can actively change to any of this stage, depending on the condition of the environment.
**Explain A Functional Immune System?**
An immune system refers to compartments, components, enzymes, cells and tissues responsible for the prevention of diseases and other harmful manifestation in humans. They are system responsible for the body's immunity. Examples of immune system include the skin, tonsil, lymphoid system, thymus and white blood cells (neutrophil, eosinophil, basophil), etc. A functional immune system is one which is able to confer protection to a body.
**How Does Man Gets In to Trouble With The Brain Eating Amoeba ?**
Like I earlier said, the naegleria fowleri feeds on bacteria and other smaller organisms. And its found in contaminated water bodies, if man swims or bath in such places, it and the water enters the nose which is the only route of being infected by the organism.
**How ? Does It Mean They Are No Other Routes ?**
Yes, the only mode of being infected is through the nose. Which implies drinking of water infected with this organism has no effect. Unless such water, enters our nose.
**How Does It Reaches The Brain ?**
Studying the anatomy of the human nose,it has an opening through which the organism swims into the Brain.
On entering the nose, the organism having possess receptors for acetylcholine, which is also a neurotransmitter secreted by neurons found in the olfactory nerve, is attracted by such secretion, invading the olfactory nerve and traveling through the cribriform plate, it reaches the olfactory bulb, which is located in the brainstem.
On getting to this point, it is already in the brain, and the neuron here secretes acetylcholine. The brain zombie begins it's attack on brain tissues, regardless series of attack by the body's immune system. It renders all protection, null and void, and continues it's destruction and feasting on brain cells. This grand party organized by the organism on the brain, continues for 5 day before symptoms manifest. During this period, they will be accumulation of fluid in the brain, which leads to its expansion. And further expanding leads to the compression of the brain stem which is a site for breathing, when this happens, such an individual dies.
**What Are The Symptoms Associated?**
Infestation by this organism leads to a disease called Primary amoebic Meningoencephalitis, which is often misdiagnosed as viral meningitis.
The symptoms include;
Headache
Fever
Vomiting
Nausea
Seizures
Coma
Neck stiffness
Anorexia (loss of appetite)
Loss of taste.
other symptoms could include hallucination and blurred vision.
**Is It A Communicable Disease ?**
No, it cannot be passed from one person to another. Remember the only means of transmission is through the nose.
**How Deadly Is the Disease ?**
The mortality rate of the disease is very high and patients die in less than 5-6 days after manifestation of symptoms. Chances of surviving after being infected, is 2 on a scale of 10. Reports shows, out of 154 people in USA, infected with the disease since 1960 till 2020, only 4 had manage to survive the deadly disease.
**What Drug Can Be Used To Treat Naegleriasis ?**
I will advice you visit the hospital when you experience the above symptoms, it is against medical ethics to prescribe drugs without proper examination and investigations. Drugs for treatment of the disease is still a puzzle yet to be solved fully.
**How Can I Prevent Being Infected?**
As drugs for complete treatment of the disease are still being experimented, individuals are advice to take preventive measures in order to avoid being infected by the dangerous organisms, such include;
Avoid swimming in contaminated water like lakes, streams, river.
Avoid the use of contaminated water to wash your face.
Properly disinfect your swimming pool.
Don't swimming in untreated water bodies like pools, spa.
**Golden words**
Health is wealth, guard it with care. Value every precious moment of your life.
Have a lovely week ahead .
**Lead image : internet**
Why My Cat Meows At Night, Disturbing My Peaceful Sleep
I know this question runs through other cat owners' minds. Sometimes it's disturbing to find your pet, meowing all night but other times it's consoling, especially after having a nightmare or having trouble sleeping at night.
Cats are creatures with a different sleeping pattern from humans, that's why most times you find your cat, becoming less active during the day and very active at night. It's so frustrating that at times, when I want to play with my cat, she will just lie in her basket and refuse to play but at night, she is all over the room chasing insects, making sounds and jumping on me. I know you are curious to know why, it's because of them having a different feline circadian rhythm.
**Reasons For Their Late Night Disturbance**
While some owners find this consoling enough, others find it annoying. First few months spent with my cat were eventful, I was just always disturbed by her constant meowing at night. I had to search for a group on Facebook for cat lovers and joined, it was a bit of a relief to know I wasn't the only one, encountering such. While others complained about this habit, some praise their cats for always keeping them alert, and being there after a terrible nightmare or lonely night. Here are top reasons for their actions;
**#1 Your Cat Needs Your Attention**
Most of us leave the house so early to work and return late, we barely have time for our feline friend. This constant treatment takes a toll on them and they begin to protest through their meows. Rather than push them off, try to delegate more time for them, giving them all the necessary attention. Getting them new toys, replenishing their food supply and also making out time for a stroll or cuddling your cat before bedtime, could help reduce their level of disturbance. What I do with my cat, I do initiate tiring play with them. This is to keep them busy, so when it's time for me to go to bed, she will already be tired. This helps the cat have a sound and long sleep.
**#2 Your Cat Is Sick**
Since they are not able to express their feelings like humans, just like little babies, all they can do is to meow. Paying attention to such wake up calls, could save your cat from impeding danger. If that's the case, regular visit to the Pet doctor, will really save you the stress of being disturbed at night.
**#3 Used To An Old Behavior**
Just like little ones, the way we train our cats, is they way they will grow to behave. If you were fund of returning from work to play with your cat, such behavior could become accustom to her and she will always want you to do it every night. I think initiating good practices from the time of getting our cat, is recommended. As bad practice might turn to be of harm to us in the future.
**Final thought**
Being a feline lover, I will always admonish every other people like me out there to care for their cats. They are so adorable and lovely that if not for the right rules at work, I would have sneaked mine to work. Hahaha. I still remember Moana's incessant cries in the past at night, I had to readjust my schedules, spent quality time with her and she has also adjusted, knowing fully well, the night is for us to rest. Do take care of your cat. Cheers..
@Wrinkle
