Old Age : How Prepared Are You ?
While on duty on Friday at the hospital, a scene struck my attention, I saw an old man being led by his son to come for medical check up. My mind flashed back to the time, he was still agile, full of energy and his son today was only a toddler. I chuckled! "What a change" .
One fact science still struggles with is Old age, because the same people who bare us on their shoulder running around, just to make us happy are the same people we carry about just to get them comfort. How does it come about ?
To a layman old age is a stage in life, where the things we once did with ease becomes a difficult task. When such a stage occurs, it's the responsibility of the children to take care of their parent. No doubt the bible in proverbs 13 : 24 admonished us to train up a child in the way that is pleasant, so when he grows he won't depart from it. The bible which has served as a compass to Christians was wise to sound this directive before time. That's why it is wise for parent to train their children in the right way, right way to love, help and care for others. This attitude aren't what we learn overnight or does it fall from the sky, it is what we practice that we master. If a child grows without the proper training, he is bound to be a nuisance to the society and the parent.
I read a story the other from a user on this site about the first child who neglected the family at a time where he was needed the most, only to purchase an expensive phone for his girlfriend. Am not trying to say gifting a lady expensive gadgets are bad but we need to have a scale of preference, and this are the little things parent are supposed to teach their children.
Dear parents, how you will be treated at old age lies within your hands, rather than pamper your children to a point they are unable to make good decisions, why not scold and teach them the right way to follow. This doesn't mean you won't show love, you won't buy them expensive things, all am saying is that you need to let them know when it is necessary to take a particular decision.
Let me share a story, they lived an old couple who had only one son, whom they loved so much. He was provided with all he will ever need at an point in life, since the parent were wealthy. He had 5 maids and at age 7, he already had 3 cars on his name and he could drive perfectly.
At age 10, he was introduced to the use of hard drugs, hw lived a reckless life and no one was there to stop him. The parents grew so old, and wanted someone to watch after them, they didn't want the service of a nurse, so they had to call their only son, advicing him to cut down on his expenses. Their request of course fell on deaf ear, it was too late to correct their mistake, He continued with his extravagant lifestyle, squandered all the wealth. His poor parent got heartbroken due to his lifestyle and they died.
You are wondering why I brought this story, in life we could be so rich that we fail to educate our children on the skill of management and priority. Often times such parent, gets to regret their mistakes, which will be too late. Let us not regret the love we once bestowed on our children, let us teach them the right way of life, so they will be there to take care of us when we are old with joy and satisfaction.
For you once led them to school, playground and the mall, while they were still a toddler. It is now their turn to lead you to whereever you want to go And also to take care of you. Not to drag you to the old people's home, while you still long to be around them.
The decision to have such a happy ending begins from the day, your child was born. How well did you train him/her, did you showered love and forgot morals were also need to be showered ?
Dear readers, I want to sincerely request, we make amends and lead our children the right way. And for those whose parents are old and feeble, help and support them, remember they once bare you and supported you. This is where I drop my pen.
Do have a wonderful day..........
**Lead** **image**: **unsplash.com**
Life is too short to live on Regrets....(1)
I attended a burial last week and I stood by the graveside, listening to the beautiful sermon by the Preacher, all I gained from the sermon was the topic for my article today 'life is too short to live on regrets".
Many times, we allow the mistakes of our past gets to us, how I wish I didn't join the other team, they have better players than ours, how I wish I didn't sleep the night to my examination, I would have scored higher. Oh no! Dear mistakes were meant to be part of the story, so removing it makes the whole story boring.
" We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your day and your future - Steve Maraboli" . This beautiful quote should be your guide daily, regretting actions you didn't take is liken to you assuming your life was all a mistake. Things don't have to go the way you want, when you miss an opportunity, don't see it as a lose but as a gain to becoming a better person. The preacher in his sermon likened our life on earth to a flying kite held by a child, it was set up by the child, flew by the child but at some point the child had no control over it, it was now control by the wind. That is how the decision in our life is, you undertook a plan, assumed it will play out well, then you venture into it, investing your time, idea and energy into, then it turns out negative. You are not supposed to regret, just take it as a lesson learnt.
I know many times such processes hurt, and you feel like throwing in the towel, but before you do, think about all the great men, who at some point in their achievement also felt the same way you did, they didn't give up, they didn't regret the steps they took, all they did was to change their strategies. When we all die, all the plans, ideas and strategies will be of no use, why not pick yourself up and try again, life was never meant to be easy. Those who live in regrets don't excel, they are clouded always by their mistakes, no! You don't have to stay in regrets. You have to forgive yourself and everyone who offended you and move on.
Life is like gambling, we often feel, we could have allow the queen stay while the knight was moved, and because we didn't do it, we tend to be bittered. Yeah! That's the result of regrets, you are always depressed each time you think about that first beautiful step you took, which you called a mistake. Mistakes are priceless and so I will admonish everyone to value every failed step they ever took.
Let me share a story with you all, I got into the university when almost all my friends had graduated, and each time I remember they were once my classmates, Regrets running all through my mind, how I should have settled for the course I was given rather than wants to be a Doctor, I should have been a graduate by Now, saying this brings this fresh memories of how many times I failed the entrance examination due to slight mistakes on my part back to heart, yeah! Regrets are like faulty android screens were you could see the displayed apps but finds it difficult to use any of them, so of what use is the regrets, if I can't edit them but rather am only chanced to make amends with new process.
Rather than dwell on your mistakes, why not make it a chapter in your success story. There is no amendment, when we die, because life is truly too short to dwell on regrets.
**Bottom Line**
Life was meant to be very easy, we only complicate it with regrets. Don't allow what never happened not to deter you from making them happen because life is really too short to let live on regrets.
Every mistake was and should be a stepping stone to your victory.
Go out there and be victorious...
Thanks for reading .
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A very big thank you to my second sponsor @Talecharm , am so happy you found me worthy. Thank you so much❤❤❤
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I am so delighted for my first sponsor @Hermaniginger, thank you so much, may you stay blessed. Thank you once again❤❤❤❤❤❤
Say no to Imposter Syndrome
I woke up today remembering a classmate of mine, Rachel was her name, she had this way of making everyone believe she had a wonderful family, always boring us with her family stories, my mom and dad are going on vacation to Italy, we are having a family party at Maldive, oh no! But that was our dear Rachel.
In class she acted like she knew everything the teacher taught and will always nod her head even when the whole class was confused.
But then she had her way in examinations and assessments because her father was the head of the school, so everyone thought she was brilliant, receiving awards for achievements she never merited. Her luck for getting awards and grades she didn't deserve finished when she went to the University. There no one will be around to cover up her tracks, am sure you are wondering how she survived, she didn't but failed woefully, she was never ready to change her ways, she allowed the imposter syndrome sank deep into her.
**Who is an imposter?**
From a layman's understanding, 'it is someone who pretends to be who they are not".
A lot of time we become imposter of yourself, pretending to be the best version of yourself when you know, you are still struggling to do just fine, how do you wake to tell yourself, am a great writer, when you know too well you aren't is what beats my imagination. There is a clear difference between an imposter and someone who is courageous.
**Difference between being an imposter vs Courageous**
An imposter knows his/her inability, but covers it up, trying to be a perfect person, he never gives a try but awaits the day he/she becomes an expert in his field, scared of being mocked by the crowd But a courageous person works hard, not scared of trying, even when he knows he is imperfect, He keeps on trying, he is not interest in the cheers from the crowd, all he wants is to archive his goal.
**Bottom line**
Being an imposter is alright, atleast if you are certain, you don't want to continue with it all your life, learn to try even when you know you are not sure of getting it right, it will help knock you off the cliff of an imposter.
Dark web : What You Need To Know
The advent of the internet has brought tremendous changes to everything. Our manner of approach to things changed drastically. I see the internet as a were different people, beliefs and ideas finds a pair, this means someone in the internet is just like us.
The internet has served as a link to so many things, connecting us to people around the world, boasting financial growth and serving as business platform where different goods and services could be gotten.
Just like the regular web we can browse to get ideas, the dark web which is the other side of the internet also contains amazing websites, forums and services which humans can use but is hidden under a layer of protection.
The dark web serves as a world for illegal activities, businesses, drugs and even human trafficking.
**Sections of the internet**
The Internet is divided into 3 different sections;
1) **surface web** : this is the section of the internet which could be access easily, Facebook, twitter and other social medias forms this part of the internet.
It is easier to find anything on the surface web as they are index on search engines like google. In this section of the internet, you can search for anyone, places and can get informations about them.
Informations gotten are to a minimal as their bank details, medical reports are hidden on websites with passwords which only them could have access to it.
2) **Deep web**: this is another part of the internet, which is not index on search engines, this means that they can't be search for using google. Your email address is part of the deep web. Unlike the surface web, the deep web is a bit more secretive. The deep web is this largest part of the internet and so therefore contains almost everything found on the internet. So even if you go on the internet for the next 50yrs, you will not be able to exhaust all the information.
3) **Dark web:** this is the seen as the dead end of the internet, here information can't be leaked from websites encrypted with hidden identities and also IP addresses are changed to make such sites not to be recognized, only users with encrypted softwares with completely masked identities could access this part of the internet .
**How does it work?**
A lot of users and developers have asked this particular question, how do you tend to hide something from the internet which everyone gains access to freely.
Though the activity of an average user of the internet can be tracked, that's why a lot of websites are able to track what you are searching for and advertise such goods and services to you. Most social medias that we indirectly agreed to them to sell our data through the long terms and conditions you didn't read, sell this data to website which now advertises the goods and services we want to us.
Alot of people will let this slip off while others find it creepy and had to look for a way to stop the sales of data.
Over 20 years ago, the US government wanted a secured system for communicating online.
In the mid 1990s researchers at the US Naval research laboratory began a project called onion routing.
Onion routing gave protection to data sent by wrapping it with different layers of encryption, with the innermost layer containing the real message.
Onion routing gave an edge to darknets like Tor, which operated simultaneously with networks like the internet but needs certain software for access.
**What is Tor ?**
The acronym for Tor is the onion router, it makes it possible to access websites that are unavailable to everyone. Links to websites of darknets don't look like our regular websites like Facebook.com but ends with suffix dot onion. Accessing such websites with the regular web browser will fail unless you use Tor browser .
Gaining access to such website is your initial step into the dark web, in the dark web alot of illegal services could be found, drugs, weapons and other stuffs against the ethics governing a country.
The dark web is like the surface web having market places were goods and services could be exchange using virtual currencies like, bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies are used in such market place.
Since the knowledge of dark web came to light, a lot of websites has sprang up, selling illegal contents like drugs, weapons, books and furniture to people all over the world.
This boasted the rise in value of bitcoin as it served as an exchange for goods and services.
Many times the owner of such sites are arrested and imprisond and the sites are taken down by authorities. http://Facebook.com
Though you may not be involved in any transactions involving the dark web, but when a website is compromised and data is leaked, such information are sold on the dark web, which is purchased by anyone having access to it.
The advent if the internet and the dark web has brought concerned, as it has served as links for people to hire people to commit crime they are scared of doing it themselves, they are also services were human organs could be purchased on the dark web. How to abduct children, child pornography and a lot of illegal stuffs are found on the dark web, as they are no rules guiding this part if the internet.
**Conclusion**
Though the dark web Is seen as a home for illegal activities, other part if the dark web impacts positively to the rest of the world, there is no censorship in the dark web so truths being hidden by higher authorities could be accessed easily and without stress.
Giving every user an opportunity to say things the way the are without fear or threats, most news providers, operate on the dark web so information could be gotten from them the way there are.
The internet has made privacy a thing of the past but the dark web has made anonymity paramount to its users either to be used positively negatively, provided their privacy is guaranteed. The dark web like other part of the internet isn't as scary as we think, only if we mind what we are searching for.
**Disclaimer**; this article is meant for educational purpose, Readers are advised to take precautions and not venture into the dark web, it is harmless but also harmful.
Thank you for reading....
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The Memories of Childhood, where are they really stored ?
Visiting grandma was fun but was more fun when she showed me my childhood pictures, she placed the picture right in front of me and asked who it was! For some minutes, a lot of names flashed on my mind, could it be my cousin ; Stephanie, Jasmine, Jane but definitely that kid in picture wasn't me, I answered. Grandma smiled and told me "Laura, that's you in the picture". I looked closely again, and I discovered a lot had changed, but then memories of my childhood came rushing like the wind, yeah, It seems like it was yesterday, I changed from being a toddler to a kid, then to an teenager and today am an adult. The picture ignited one thing in me and that was a drive down memory lane.
Grandma told me stories about my childhood, how at 5, I wanted being a pilot because I loved seeing airplanes, at 10 I wanted being a doctor because grandpa died of Congestive Cardiac failure, I wanted to keep him alive. Then i marveled at how everything changed because am presently a Pharmacist, how it happened is what I couldn't wrap my thoughts around. That's the unique feature about humans, our taste, needs and passion changes with advancement in age, change of location or even after a life event. This is a fact scientist can't explain, Our decisions and thoughts years back, are bound to change. I used to like chocolate while I was younger but not anymore, as it makes me sick. That won't change the fact that am still the little girl who disturbed mom for chocolate 15 years ago, because what happened was just a change.
A change to becoming a better version of myself.
There is no way, you will start describing yourself without using the words 'I' and "Me" that's if my grammar tutors didn't tell me a lie.
'I' to my understanding is used to describe memories of the present moment while "me" is used to describe memories of our past, present and future. We drive our memories based on What we need to be in the present while our plans for the future keeps changing.
**How do we Create Memories**?
This is a question scientist can't answer, firstly let me explain to you what memory is. It is simply thoughts gathered from past and present experiences. My friend once told me memory is like watching a movie, but I strongly disagree, memories are tiny clips designed by our brain to fit into our present narrative of who we are.
Let's assume you see yourself as a generous person, your mind will only reflect on the number of times, you have helped people rather than those moments you turned them down. That's why we don't use memories to describe who we were in out past, as it keeps on changing, as they tend to change. It's this constant change our brain gathers to bring out what we call "self" .
The idea of self is complicated as it tends to change completely, this manipulation is created by the brain, which is what we call the "illusion of self" . A random brain toggle of aligning stories, to create a storyline. Which means the self cannot exist without the brain. Still trying to figure out who I was years ago, grandma brought in other pictures, which I couldn't agree it was still me, I had to rely on my brain to create a memory path, which it didn't, then I knew the brain was in no way storing memories but just creating what we needed at that particular time. It was difficult in this state, as it couldn't get hold of any substance to develop a memory until grandma told me a story of how I used to cry profusely at night. What am I saying in essence, if the brain wasn't able to create this storylines , they won't be any need for us to feel guilty when a deed is done, its the storyline created by our brain that gives us conscience.
But looking at the child in the picture, I could actually tell that he was innocent of taking contraceptives, lying, stealing or even gossiping. These are attitudes we develop with advancement in age.
**Conclusion**
The illusion of self is a collection of what our brains stores and thats what makes up the storyline. You are a unique entity and so you shouldn't allow memories of your past weigh you down. You deserve the best.
Do have a wonderful day..
Lead ***image:*** **unsplash**.com
How To Overcome Your Fear
In life we are faced with a lot of challenging situations that we shy away from. Most times we are just too scared of trying new ideas. Before I proceed with my article, let me share a story with you all.
They lived a boy named Dennis, He grew up in the town of Manila. Though gifted but was scared of using his supernatural powers.Dennis was born on the day when the goddess of Manila was celebrating her son's birthday. It was declared all male children born on that day, were to be blessed with four powers namely, Sand, fire, water and wind. Sand signifies "Healing", fire signifies "Raising the death" , water signifies "war" and the last one wind was signified "Courage" . While growing up Dennis was told of his gifts but he never did try it out for once. Dennis died without using any of his gifts.
That's how most of us are, we are too scared of trying out new stuffs. Everyone laughs at everyone at different point in their life, what differentiates you from another person is the step you took. You have a good voice to sing but still afraid, it won't be as melodious as Michael Jackson, you can draw but won't try it out because of fear.
**What is fear ?**
Fear to a layman ' is simply seeing disability in every step we take' . I can't sing even though have never tried it, I can't write articles , am not a great dancer. That's the anthem of a fearful person. Have developed an acronym for fear;
F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run
Yes! We do forget all our strength in the face of trials and pick race, we focus more on the "I cannot" than on the "I can".
**Features of a Fear**
A man filled with fear possess a lot of negative features, which i will list them out today;
1) **Low Self Esteem**: This is a significant feature in the life of fear gripped individuals. They tend to possess low self esteem, always concerned about what people say. What if I make a mistake, everyone will laugh at me, Low self esteem is a disease of a fearful man.
2) **Negativity** : My grandma used to tell me that, I should be careful of people who speak negativity their whole life's as they tend to live in fear. they are filled with the "I cannot do it", always worried about making mistakes and how they will laugh at them.
3) **No Progress** : Since such a person is scaredvof losing, he will also be scared of trying out new skills, ideas and plans. Such individuals tend to be stagnated all their lives and they are always comfortable with it. Just having a little satisfies them.
4) **Discouragement**: Having people who are filled with fear could tend to limit you. As there are always out to discourage you . no! You can't do it, Bitcoin cash will not grow, so why waste your time on it, those where the words of a friend, few months ago. If I wasn't courageous I would have thrown away my dream of owing BCH.
**How to overcome Fear**
1) **Be Positive :** A man who is positive can conquer any city until proven otherwise . This statement has been a daily motivational to me, I tend to speak positivity into my life everyday. Before leaving your house, always speak positivity to the rest of your day. This tends to boast your confidence level and also immune you to any challenge you will face.
2) **Keep trying** : Trying out new ideas even when you mind tells you you can't succeed is the first step in conquering fear. Don't be scared to go for that interview, don't be scared to grab the microphone, say no to fear and you will see it flee. The first day, I tried skating, I felt I was going to fall, peel off my skin and die but I had to put fear off, and today am a better skater. You don't need to stop trying new ideas because you think you won't succeed. Try it out even when you don't know what it entails.
3) **Surround yourself with Courageous friends** : Let's assume you have 5 friends who are scared of trying out new ideas, you will discover you May not progress but surrounding yourself with just 2 positive minded friends could make you excel. Thats the reason for the popular saying 'Show me your friends and I will tell who you are". If you are struggling with fear, I will encourage you to surround yourself with courageous people.
4) **High self esteem** : Though at times this is mistaken for pride but I will advice if you need to be freed from fear, you need to develop a high self esteem. It helps boast your confidence level.
5) **Be Courageous :** This is the peak of it all. Courage is the spice you need to boast up. So courage is an essential if you really want to get off the fear train.
**Conclusion**
Everyone gets scared at some point in life but allowing fear control overwhelm you becomes a problem. The first step in overcoming fear is admitting the presence the presence of fear and working towards becoming a better person.
Also surrounding yourself with positive and courageous friends will help you boast yourself.
Don't allow anyone or anything makes you feel inferior, as long as you planned it, you can do it.
Do have a wonderful day.........
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Cherish Your Real Friends, they are Priceless
I can't finish saying the word 'friends' without the faces of them flashing on my mind. Yeah! Thats the beauty of having real friends. Friendship isn't complete without trust, love and care, and that's why we are nicknamed "the inseparable triplet".
Had to join the prompt challenge by , @meitanteikudo because I also have a lot to share. We all lived in the same province in Manila, Aurora and Agila were their names. Troublesome, full of fun and caring was how we were identified. I was the troublesome one, Aurora was full of fun and Agila was the caring one. So today I will be answering few questions about my friendship;
**When, where, and how did you guys meet**
It's over 8 years since we met, we all met during the easter retreat at the Manila immaculate conception cathedral. We were chosen to play a role in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I was to act like Mary the mother of Jesus, Aurora was to be Martha and Agila was to be the wife of Caesar. So we won't say fate brought us together but it was our different characters. When the play was over, Agila came to complement me on my role in the play, I was overwhelmed, so likewise she did to Aurora.
Then we began chatting home, only to discover we stayed a stone throw from each other. And that was the beginning of our friendship till date.
**What was your first impression of each of them?**
The first day Agila approached me, I felt she was coming to laugh at me, because I was a slow learner and the director was always scolding me, so at first I saw her approach as being proud, but was shocked when she complemented my performance.
**Did you think that you could be friends?**
Definitely not! I was a reservers type, I hardly made friends. And it takes a lot of courage for someone to approach me, everyone things I keep a serious face every time. So many times I do tell them thank you for finding me worthy to be their friend.
**what's the most memorable moment you had with them? Or each of them.**
We have shared a lot of memories together, from sitting together in class, attending prom together and even going on a date too. I could remember when Aurora ran to us to accompany her to her first date, it was a day we still laugh over, we went for the date, and we never knew, the boyfriend was scared of us. He was stammering throughout the whole time we were there.
Still remember when we went for swimming, Aurora wasn't a good swimmer, so we had to teach her. Kikiki she drank a lot of water , but today she is a better swimmer. And on graduation day, it was a remarkable day in school, we all graduated together and had admission into the same university though we are studying different courses.
**what do you think is the thing that made you bonded?**
I will explain for each of them, for Agila its her simplicity, and for Aurora she has this charisma, you can't ignore. Its just us being able to understand each other too.
**how would you describe each of them as a person and as a friend?**
Aurora is a lovely soul, calm and will make you laugh your heart out, she is a good cook because she prepares all the meal we do eat, during our sit outs . She is generous too.
Agila is the most beautiful of us all, she can sing and friend has the trait of mother Theresa, she will give out her last dime just to make you happy. She bakes all the cakes for our birthday celebrations.
And all I do is to eat because I can't bake neither am I good chef.
**if you could do life over and choose your friends, will you choose them again?**
Of course I will choose them over and over again. I can't imagine life without them, they have been with me through out the period when I lost my fiance Charles. they are so supportive.
**If there's something you can give each of them, what would you give them, why?**
All the kisses and love in the whole world, they deserve it. I love them and they are aware..
**Conclusion**
We don't have all the time in the world to celebrate the beautiful people in our lives, but its recommended , we take out time to tell appreciate them.
Friends are the most priceless thing to have, do make friends that will be there for you when things go wrong.
**Lead** **image from unsplash.com**
Trust: A Rare Gem In Our World Today
In our world today, day after day, we are swept off by endless promises, either from our friends, parents, employers and even our leaders. Failure to fulfill has affected alot of relationships, as it's solely based on trust.This isn't meant to so, before I write today's article, I want to share an old story, my grandma shared with me a long time ago.
Once upon a time, In the animal kingdom where the lived all animals in unity. Not minding their sizes or strength, the cat an the mouse were neighbours. So likewise was the lion and the antelopes. They rose a famine in the land, the grasses all dried up, they was no water, so the animals grew lean. Something strange happened, one by one, the smaller animals began to miss, who was behind this, or did the animals left for greener pastures, no one was aware and why was the lion the only fat one in their midst. So one day, they arranged to keep watch the night, just to see what really happened. Then came the lion dressed in a pink coat, tiptoed to the house of Mr. Antelope, he knocked on the door, when it was opened, the Lion held one of the antelope's son by the neck, dragged him into the forest and that was the end. The next morning, they was a loud cry in the house of Mr. Antelope by the wife , the Lion came to console and was so emotional. Crying and rolling on the ground, everyone came to console him, The night watchers came, they were able to identify his coat, they all exclaimed " so it was you all this while" The lion argued and argued, but the seriousness in the faces of the watch men couldn't be overlooked. The lion was banished from the land of the animals, because he was no longer to be trusted .
Trust is becoming scarce in our world today, we are carried away by the luxuries of the world and has forgotten about being sincere. All we want is how we could accumulate more money, have a big house and beautiful cars. This has made us thrown away all sincerity from ourself.
We hardly find trustworthy people anymore in our society, even in the internet. I still remember how a lot of people will always translate other people's work, so they could post it on this site. That was not just an abuse of trust but it was a minus on their level of being trusted.
Lack of trust in our society is really a problem, you can't render help to people anymore because you can't identify who really needs help. Everybody now plays the victim and that has made help being rendered to the wrong people. Relationships have gone sour due to lack of trust, the spouse always suspecting , anytime, you make a call, text or chats. This has really made things uneasy for a lot of unhealthy relationship. And such people if they moved into another relationship, will still be in secured and the relationship will always be shaky.
A lot of opportunities have been lost due to trust, the first day I was introduced to this site, I felt it was some scam site due to what I had suffered from other sites, not after being convinced for a long time by my friend, I would have just thrown away an opportunity as such due to what I had suffered from other sites. Am still grateful I didn't.
**Conclusion**
Life would have been more easier, if we could really create trust, earn trust and trust someone, not everyone who begs for money are fake, some really needs the help. So whenever, the needs come to help someone, just do your best and help. Don't let the scars of the past stops you from reaching out to people.
Have a blessed week.
**Lead** **image:Unsplash**
Love Is Beautiful
This is my first prompt, after reading @HermaniGinger prompt challenge, memories of my first love life, tears and pains, moments I admire and wants to feel again, came rushing back. I felt to be loved like the first time I tasted crush.
**My first crush**
I still remember his face, his smell and smile. His name was Dickson, he was from the province next to mine. He had blue eyes and was having this 'sleepy eyes' . He was a class ahead of me. So whenever I see him on his blue trouser and shirt, I always felt this butterfly effect. Dickson was the best in basketball and so it was a plus to me fall in for him the more. I used tell @myself I will walk up to him one day and tell him, how I felt. Hahaha! I was shy and thought he will take advantage of me. Dickson graduated and left for college without me telling him about my feelings and he never noticed me, because he had so many crushes.
**Any other crush**
That happened while I was in the university, His name was Charles, he was a fine art student and so he was good with drawings. I so much love art works, that was how he became my crush. I had to collect his Facebook username and kept stalking him. Until one day when I told myself, if I don't walk up to him, I will loss him like Dickson. I did and it worked.
**My first boyfriend**
He became my first boyfriend, he was adoring, stunning and caring. I vividly remembered how he will take my lunch from the canteen to the school park, and we will sit there to gist and laugh. He drew a couple of my pictures and was always ready to show me off to his friends. We were the envy of everyone, I remember falling sick in school and he had to carry me on his back to the house. Everyone just stood to watch us pass. I don't forget when he will come to the class on birthday to present my portrait to me. So much love was there in our midst.
He liked potato chips with coffee those were his favorite food and he liked blue color.
**My virtual love life**
Before I started dating Charles was my first virtual lover, stalking him and sending him random comments on Facebook were my favorite. I never had any other virtual lover.
**My first romance**
It was on my nineteenth birthday at the park, our usual spot after closure of school. We were seeing a movie together and they were kissing in the movie. He asked me if he could kiss me, I was young and naive , I didn't know when I nodded, he leaned forward and kissed me. I felt electric current flush through my body. It was my first kiss but it was remarkable. I didn't know what to do in response than to open my mouth for him to continue kissing, hahaha! Then he took me home, we lay together on the bed, while he continued kissing me and touching my body. It was so fun.
**My first heartbreak**
The day still remains evergreen in my heart, the day I got the news that my lover was gone. It was on a Saturday morning, I received a called from Charles mom, she told me Charles was involved in a road accident, which caused him to loss so much blood and he died at the spot. At first I thought it was a prank, since it happened on April 1st, but was concerned it was coming from his mother. I quickly ended the call, and tried calling his line, it ranged and nobody answered, I became scared, heartbroken and distabalized. Where do I start from was the question going through my mind, I wasn't myself the whole day as I waited for mom to come back, so we could visit them.
When she finally did, we went to confirmed the news and it was true, I lost the love of my life, a day to the national April fool's day. I was so depressed that it started affecting my academics, had to see a counsellor who made me dispose all that we shared, the portraits were gone, everything that could remind me of Charles was thrown away but he still lives in my heart till date.
Though have moved on but am still scared to love again because every time I do, they always left without a goodbye.🥺😔😢
**Memorable love day**
Every moment I shared with Charles were memorable, from the first day we started talking to the moments, he thought me how to swim, they were memorable. I forgot to mention also, he was a good basketball player, so he thought me basic skills in basketball. Those we really memorable days.
**My present love life**
I lost Charles on the 1st of April, 2019 till date, its not easy to fill that vacuum. Charles was everything to me. Mom and everyone has shown concerned about my love life, and I told them, am just afraid love doesn't love me, it's always hard on me. I don't want to lose him again thats why I want to be alone.
But deep down, I still long for those moments I shared with Charles. Am just afraid to lose some other person.
**Lead image : unsplash**
**Conclusion**
Being in love with the person who loves you dearly is priceless. It is fun and it is nice.
Are You Productive or Just Busy ?
Being busy all day doesn't confer you're productive, We are gifted with the same amount of time each day and regardless of the duties we may have, we choose how to utilize our time. Knowing fully well our needs influences our decisions, we often make unconscious decisions at times. With the help of our brains, we focus on the more important needs at that particular time, though at times its detrimental. Let's assume; you wanted going to play football while it's about to rain, since thats the only pressing need at that moment, we tend to yield to it, only to be so asked by the rain and you are down with cold, this is a situation, you could have taken control and alter the decision at that particular time.
**Difference between Productive People And Busy People**
Today, we want to focus on the difference between busy people and productive people;
1) **Purpose**: The difference between busy and productive people is purpose. While productive people have purpose, busy people only pretend to have it. I still remember in college while all the serious students are studying, I will always open my book and pretend I was also reading, flipping through pages, just to put up for my busyness.The end usually justify the beginning, as I will always sleep off while fooling myself to be studying.
In today's world, we have people like that, who don't have a real mission, only tagging along with others. That's a clear picture of a busy person, always acting like a parasite, they can't think for themselves.
2) **Potentials** : Productivity requires more than being busy, it requires our technical know-how, our input determines our output, while productive people focus on their strength, busy people focus on their weaknesses. What differentiates them is the various time used, while one is working, the other is complaining, thinking of how poor he will perform, peradventure, he happens to take up the task.
3) **Priority** : Productive people evaluate task and choses the ones to dedicate more time for, with regards to how important they are, making a list of realistic goals while busy people devote all their time to any task without any priority. In their time to look busy, they make a list of a never accomplished task for the day, which usually spills into the next day and most times dumped.
4) **Concentration** : Busy people tend to carry out different tasks at the same time without focusing on one, while productive people tend to concentrate on a particular task, make sure It is accomplished before moving on to the next one. Most young people today, get busied each time they want to study, that's when notifications from different social medias pop up, this tend to reduce their study time.
5) **Careful Utilization of Time** : This is a goal that is reached by the productive ones, knowing when to rest is a unique feature. While the busy ones tend to work for long durations without resting, the productive ones work technically, resting at every slightest fatiguability point. Working for long durations tend to reduce productivity and increases error and unsatisfactory results.
6) **Decisions** : Busy people always agree to everything but productive people knows when to disagree. Though busy people have a good intention of satisfying everyone, they failed to consider the effect of inadequate time. While productive people decides when to embark on new task, a break or take a day off, busy people are always busy with new task.
7) **Character** : Busy people work hard while productive people work hard and smart. The difference between them, is the knowledge and Mindset used in working. While one tends to finish a particular task no matter the nature of the result, the other Considers the nature of the result before even considering the task at hand. This is what increases productivity and draws a line between a productive and a busy person.
**Difference Between Working Effectively and Efficiently**
Working efficiently means getting things done fast working through a to-do list of tasks while working effectively means using your resources, your time, ideas, energy to complete the most relevant task.
**Conclusion**
Being busy is a nice way of keeping yourself occupied but productivity is key to every task we undertake. You don't have to keep on adding task to your to-do list without accomplishing the older ones, as it tends to accumulate stealing your precious time, and also making you busy all day. Always finish a task first before adding new ones.
Have come to the end of my article today, kindly tell me which of them you are, in the comment box below, are you productive or just busy ?
Thank you for reading, do have a lovely day...
**Lead** **image : Unsplash**
The Future Is Bitcoin Cash
Many cryptocurrency have risen in the past years but have long been forgotten, not because they were not good but because they had no impact on lives. They rose a cryptocurrency on August 2017, which has not only shaken the cryptocurrency ecosystem but has provided food, jobs and comfortability to its users.
Am still new in the world of cryptocurrency, but the little information gathered has pointed to me, Bitcoin Cash is the future.
When I was first tipped, I was so happy I was getting a dollar, but when I checked, i was tipped $0.22 in BCH.
I was so confused, had to ran a research about Bitcoin cash, only to find out, it is the best.
**Why the future is Bitcoin cash**
From my little research I have to come to conclusion that BCH is the future we waited for interns of it meeting the following points:
1) **Employment**: Alot of Users on Read.cash and noise.cash have taken writing of articles as a full time work. How I got to know about the site was through a friend after I lost my job, He told me to write and get paid, at first I doubt him but currently am earning and it has brought financial relieve for me. http://Read.cash http://noise.cash
2) **Low Transaction Fee** : The first day I tried transferring crypto using a particular token, the transfer fee was greater than the money I was to transfer but using BCH the transaction fee was easier. I call BCH my knight in shinning armor.
3) **Greater Publicity**: Aside from Bitcoin, there is no other coin with such impact like Bitcoin Cash. The effect in the crypto ecosystem is so massive, I fear in the next 3 years, it will be Bitcoin Cash and others.
The far ends of The world through read.cash has come to experience financial breakthrough through the use of bitcoin cash.
**Future Goals**
1) From henceforth, have promised myself to read an article daily about bitcoin cash, to help update my knowledge about bitcoin cash.
2) To save a dollar in order to raise upto 4 BCH before the year is over.
Comparison: An Habit, You need to Let Go
I stood at the back of the crowd, wishing I was the one being called to the podium, it was another end of school party, and the brilliant kids are always called up stage to be applauded by everyone. There he was His name was Daniel Anderson, his parent never missed the end of school party, because they knew he will always make them proud. I thought so low of myself, if only I was abit taller than I was, had brown eyes with a chocolate skin color maybe I would have been called up stage.
If my parent were both doctors, had just one sibling, maybe I would have been better than Daniel. All this wild thoughts were running through my mind in a second, I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear when someone tapped me on the shoulder, it was my best friend Silas. All I said without being scared of being heard was, I will deal with him, he thought he is smarter than me. Everyone turned to look at me, while I turned red, I was more embarrassed than not being called up the podium. I ran to get some fresh air outside.
That's the problem with comparison, it leaves us bittered, depressed, with low self esteem. Ever wondered why the famous quote *"You cannot change what you are, only what you do - Philip Pullman" .*
Certainly when I was in high school, I never thought of the above quote, if I did, I would have devoted more time to study than just sit around waiting for the miraculous to happen.
**What is Comparison ?**
According to Merriam-Webstars Dictionary, Comparison is the act of looking at things to see how they are similar or different. In a clear term, I will say, comparison is the act of thinking so low of yourself, while using another person as a yardstick, usually someone we think, are better than us. We all have compared ourselves with others at some point in our lives, especially when things don't go the way we want.
I wish I was a beautiful as Cinderella, I wish I could sing so perfectly like Celine Dion. If only I could dance so perfectly like Michael Jackson.
Comparing yourself with others without making a step to be a better person won't change anything rather make things worst.
**Adverse Effect of Comparison**
Alot has gone wrong during the process of comparison, if left unsolved could result to the lose of lives. Here are certain things that could happen if comparison is left unsolved for too long.
1) **Envy** : This is a state of being jealous of someone else's progress, you will always feel, you could have done it better. I always thought of waving to the crowd in a better way than how Daniel did. If I was the one with such straight legs, I would have been a model, look at how she walks, so annoying. Thats it, comparison brings about you talking down on others.
2) **Depression** : The classic world we live today has made being depressed as simple as ABC, social medias are a perfect spot of being depressed. Everyone posting their best pictures after a workout, attending a wedding or their newest achievements just to gain attention. It wasn't meant to get you bittered, oh look at how perfect she looked on that dress, she isn't plus sized as I am, I wish I wasn't this chubby, maybe I could have been in a relationship. All this thoughts won't make it any easy for you. I still remember how depressed I was at every end of school party. And you should know being depressed isn't a better option.
3) **Low Self Esteem :** The result **of** comparison is always the conclusion of others being better than you. You will always see others as a better option to you. Comparing yourself with others, leaves you in an unending state of mediocrity.
4) **Death** : This is usually rare, imagine trying to have a perfect body like a model you saw online, only to end up creating health issues for yourself, you might be pushed out of jealousy to kill someone you compare yourself with. The truth is comparison isn't what we should harbour, it is as worst more than a pandemic.
**How to Quit Comparison**
Everyone has compared themselve with others no doubt, but the difference is they didn't continue with that lifestyle for long, as it is wrong. Here are steps to take to quit comparing oneself with others;
1) **Celebrate yourself** : This is a unique way of quitting comparison, as you try to give credits to your little wins. I still remember while in school, I was the best when it comes to basketball and Daniel was not even a match. That was all I used to console myself. You shouldn't see yourself like a loser, the only person you should compare yourself with should be you.
2) **Stay away from Triggers :** I stopped attending the end of school parties because it made me feel I wasn't good enough. Also the social media is a space where the best are displayed, if you don't minimize your stay online, you might be forced to compare yourself again. Nobody will want to upload an ugly or a bad day online, but believe me, everyone has a bad day. Life isn't as they display online.
3) **Celebrate Others :** Instead of comparing yourself with others, try and celebrate them, this will help boast your self confidence and also create a bond. If you are so interested about the person's success, you can go ahead and inquire, but first create a link between you both.
4) **Be active** : Its known that an idle mind wonders a lot, and its bound to start comparison , which could lead to depression. Rather than stay idle, try to occupy yourself with activities. I took up photography just to distract myself from comparing myself with others.
5) **Be** **yourself** : No matter who you try to compare yourself with, you are still yourself. You are unique , amazing, adorable and above all you are the best version of yourself.
Do have a wonderful day. Thanks for reading .
**Lead** **image** : **Unsplash**.
How to Live A Sin free Life
I was lost in thought while the sermon was going on, my mind flashed back to several acts, where I got it all wrong. Will he forgive me again, was all I could mumbled. After the sermon and it was time for altar call, I was the first person to run out, everyone were surprised. That was my 20th time since the year begun and it was just February.
The pastor was filled with compassion when he saw me again, kneeling in my usual spot.He walked up to me and hugged me, he prayed for me and left.While heading to my sit, heads turned as I walked back to my seat, though I was embarrassed but I felt this heavy burden lifted off my chest.
A lot of us are in this category, though we want to break free from sin, but find it difficult. At some point I gave up on myself, I felt the heavenly race wasn't for me, but yet he was still calling my name. Though the battle wasn't an easy one, I pulled through because I was consistent.
**Steps to Live a life that pleases God**
1) **Choosing the Right Friends** : There is a popular saying, "show me your friends and I will tell who you are" , the first step in living a Godly life, is to lay off friends that will not contribute positively to the new life you have chosen for yourself.If your friends can't change you, you need to change them, you don't have to move with a large crowd of people who have no positive impact in your life.
2) **Study Christian Books** : There are a lot of good books out there, that will help shape your life and its adviceable you study them along side your Bible.
3) **Attend Church Services** : this is another way you can build your faith, go to church regardless of how tired you are, this serves as a boast.
4) **Flee from sin** : You can't win what you can't fight, you don't allow yourself get tempted by your old behaviors. If you were an alcoholic, free from it.
I hope you all have a wonderful day.
*Lead image : unsplash*
How Music Saved My Marriage !!!!
No I'm not perfect but I hope you see my worth..." I was struck by that particular line of Pink Sweat's song; "at my worst" I was really emotionally down after a misunderstanding with my husband, It had become an everyday thing, no day was devoid of a touch of sadness for me after our first 3 months of marriage. it's been 3 years of no complete Joy; there was always one thing or the other to ruin the day. Sometimes it's as if I have gotten so used to living that way but most times I get hit really hard because that wasn't the kind of marriage I envisioned for myself even for a second.
To make matters worse, everything always had a way of falling back to me, my husband always blamed me of pushing him to the wall but that wasn't the case for me. His constant blame on me made to start wondering if he was so light-weighted that just anything pushes him to the wall. what about me? I asked him one day, don't you think you push me to the wall too? you always talk as if I have never been any good, I added. That was an outburst of how I really felt and that was how the routine misunderstanding for that day started. I had a problem with expressing myself, I yearned so much for a perfect and easy way to let my husband know how I really feel but it seemed like something that was impossible. My marriage was getting ruined by the day; my greatest nightmare seemed to be playing out right before me.
I was always caught up in the midst of all the quarrel since I felt I was the victim, I felt my husband always fails to understand the good intentions behind my actions as I try to understand his and with what I have heard from a few persons while growing up, I started accepting all the blames. While growing up I have heard few persons mention that I have a complicated way of relaying my good intentions to someone, I knew it wasn't a nice one but all trials to untangle myself from it proved abortive. For a very long time,I had looked for something that would relay that message to my husband just the way it is and in the simplest form since words have failed me until I came across that song. Music gave me the relief. I felt like all my problems were all over the moment I heard that line. My husband would definitely understand me when he listens to this song, I thought to myself and I wasn't wrong after all.
I waited for my husband to returned from work, had tried all my best not to get him angry, had to connect my mp3 player while he was eating to play at my worst, that perfect line caught his attention, he requested for the name of the artist, which I told him. He asked if I had paid him to record the song, I just smiled while looking at him.He smiled back, I knew a part of me was going to be understood by him.
He walked up to me, told me to get dressed while we go for a drink. He requested we played the song on a repeat till we got to the Bar.There is a slight change in our marriage, my husband understands me more now.
**Positive Impacts of Music**
*Hans Christian Andersen once said " where words fail, music speaks*
*Robert G. Ingersoll also said " music expresses feelings and thoughts, without language; it was below and before speech and it is above and beyond all words.*
Music is a universal language without a language, this is because though music cannot be limited by any language in the world it is still a language that anyone , anywhere in the world understands. Apart from it's quality of speaking were words fail, music has many other powerful effect on human beings such as:
**Lightening mood** : This happens when am menstruating, I used to have series of mood swings. All I do Is listening to some R & B and I will be fine. Also when am sad, I do listen to a handful of music to help lift up my spirit. Music is indeed a balm for the soul.
**Building task endurance**: Difficult task or longer ones, could be made simple or less difficult to bear when we listen to good music. I do a lot of work out with my headset connected to my ear. It has help in keeping me fit and also lessen the fatigue nature of most strenous exercises I do.
**Inspiration**: this effect of music can never be overlooked, because it has been so helpful. If not for music my marriage would have still been a mess, I drew inspiration from Pink sweat$ song, which I used to confront my husband and today we are living happily.
**Reduces Anxiety** : I still remember going for a job interview with my headset on, why ? I know you are curious to know, the truth I was scared of the interview, I felt I wasn't good enough, but listening to good music helped relax my nerves, and boast my performances.
**Improves sleeping habit**: I can't imagine myself going to bed without my wireless headsets on, it helps me sleep faster and its also extend my sleeping time .
**Other benefits include;**
Improve learning (for some people).
Boost memory/ mental alertness.
The postive effects of music on the human race can never be overemphasized. The feeling of social connection it creates is second to none; it is the one thing that people who differ in every other thing can have in common.
*Louis Armstrong was very right when he said " Music is life itself".*
Lead image : Unsplash
Cassava : The Beauty of African Salad
Tribes all over the world are distinguished by things that are peculiar to them. These things could be their way of life, dressing, food etc.
Abacha is a kind of food peculiar to the Igbo tribe in Africa. It is also called African salad.It is not only popular among the Igbos because almost everyone who has had a taste of it regardless of tribe always ask for more. In some Igbo villages, abacha is the major delicacy they offer to visitors before any other thing. It is easy to make and takes at most 15 to 20 minutes when the ingredients are ready.
Abacha is processed from cassava mostly in the rural areas. The harvested cassava is peeled and boiled in a pot for 20 to 30 minutes. It is then grated or shredded to slim strands, washed with cold water and sundried to flakes. If properly dried and stored in an air tight container, raw abacha can last for as long as a year and even more. There are few variation to how the delicious meal is prepared but there's also a constant that the more the ingredients, the tastier the meal.
**Ingredients**;
For a tasty abacha, the following ingredients are needed:
Dry Abacha
ugba/ukpaka (African oil bean seed)- optional
potash/ngu (for thickening)- optional
palm oil
pepper, salt and seasoning cubes
ogiri (locust bean)
Ehuru seeds (African nutmeg)
kpomo/ canda (cow skin)- optional
stock fish - optional
fresh fish/ dried fish/meat -optional
crayfish
garden egg
garden egg leaves
onions
**Procedures**
1. season and boil the fish/meat, kpomo and stock fish. Fry the fish
2. wash the dry abacha with cold water. Remove from the water into a seive. Avoid pouring both the water and abacha directly into the sieve inorder to get rid of sand
3. soak the washed abacha in hot water (not too hot) for a minute and drain in a sieve. I also like to blanch my onions at this point just to get rid of the rawness a bit
4. dissolve potash in water ( enough to give the desired thickness)
5. pour a desirable quantity of palm oil inside a pot, bowl or mortar
6. pour the potash water into the palm oil and mix until the mixture thickens and becomes yellow in color
7. Add pepper, salt, seasoning cubes, ogiri, blanched onions, ground ehuru seed and crayfish to taste and mix very well.
I also like to add a bit of my fish or meat stock here just to enhance the taste and moistness
8. Pour the soaked abacha into the mixture and mix very well either with a cooking spatula or hands.
The ugba can be added at this point
9. garnish with garden egg ,garden egg leaf, fish, meat, canda etc.
10. serve with any soft drink of your choice
Where is my wife ?
Standing before the guest we invited, we were about to exchange our vows, so at last we were getting married. The priest recited the wedding vows carefully but all I could here was the voice of Jasmine, my wife to be. The beautiful moments we shared were registered on my mind like it was just yesterday it happened. I wasn't interested in the big day any longer, all I wanted was to take her home. Finally, it was over and we kissed, ate and left the wedding venue, happy and fulfilled.
Yeah! We were officially couple, she told me, I smiled packing our bags for our honeymoon in Greece, since that had always been our childhood dream of sailing the ship to Greece. Jasmine was sea sick, she threw up countless times, had to take her to our cabinet to sleep. While leaving to chat with friends I met in the ship, she said something, "Baby, are you really gonna leave my side? Those words sang into me, I could still remember our wedding vows, "for better or worse" I lied I was going to urinate, I will be back in a jiffy. I kissed her forehead as I left the room, I regretted the journey by sea because she wasn't fit after it.
It was a 10 day journey and when we arrived, I took her to the hospital for a medical check up. I waited patiently outside the doctor's office, she came out with this gloomy face, I knew everything wasn't fine, what's wrong I asked, she was in tears.. I walked in to see the doctor, she briefed me about her health situation, she was diagnosed of Ovarian cancer. I couldn't move an inch, I stared helplessly at the doctor. But we just got married last week, I whispered. I turned to look at my beautiful wife already sobbing in a corner, I went and sat beside her, I reminded her about the wedding vow, "till death, do us part" we said silently.
The doctor prescribe some drugs for her while we wait for chemotherapy and other medical interventions. I took her to her favorite spot, which was at Santorini, the black sand beach. We danced and had a beautiful moment with other couples at the beach. Few days later, I got a call from the doctor, her check up was due, so we headed to the hospital, on reaching some test were done which indicated, the cancer was gone, we were so happy but they was this expression on the doctor's face, I knew everything wasn't alright. Our joy was cut short, when he cleared his throat, we held hands and looked at the doctor, he stammered, "the cancer left with her fertility" I heaved a sigh of relieve but my wife was more disturbed. I reminded her of our wedding vow "till death do us part" she nodded in affirmation as we left the office.
We stayed in Greece for a month, and we came back home, everyone waiting for pregnancy moves from my wife, my mom was so eager to have a grandchild that she traveled to come and welcome us. My wife was disturbed, I wasn't bothered because I really loved my wife. Mom will sometimes sneak to watch her visit the toilet, will stare at her tummy keenly, they were embarrsssing moments but they was nothing we could do.
After few months of staying with us, mom called me to ask about my plans, if I wasn't ready to have children, I told her it wasn't time. She left our home in anger. I had no option than to cover for my wife. I never knew Jasmine had told her about the doctor's report.
It wasn't up to 2 months when she came back with a fair lady, I asked who she was, she responded my new wife. I laughed out loud, while we waited for Jasmine to return from work. She did came back, met her so called co-wife and my mom in the sitting room, she greeted both of them before rushing to the bedroom to cry.
I stood there, patting her as she let out her pains, I whispered our most interesting part of the vow to her "till death do us part" When it was bedtime, mom brought the village girl to our bedroom, I was so mad at her that I almost sent her away that night. She fumed "but she can't get pregnant anymore, I need grandchildren" I told her to be patient with us.
I went on a business trip, on coming back, my Jasmine was gone, "Mama where is my wife" I queried. She is in the kitchen, only to found Katherine, preparing my meal. "Where is my wife" I Asked again. She explained to me, how my mom maltreated her and she left.
I quickly zoomed off, to find my wife. When I got to her parent's house, there she was, as beautiful as the morning sun, my pride was smiling, so you came looking for me, was all she said. Of course till death do us part, we hugged and kissed.
We returned home, Katherine was lying on our matrimonial bed, following the command of my mom, I drove her out of my house. Mom left the next day. And my beautiful Jasmine, wasn't bullied anymore. We had to adopt two kids; Flora and Michael and we lived happily ever after.
Dear readers, don't let anything come on between your wedding vow, guard your marriage with everything you've got.
Do have a beautiful day.
Lead image : Unsplash
Evaluation: A key to greatness
I still remember in my college days, when we are told by our teacher, to evaluate a given Mathematical problem, it was always a tough one for me, but with time I learnt the skills of evaluation. And I had to apply it even in my day to day activities.Am an athlete, I run for my school, not as fast as Usain Bolt but fast enough to win medals .
They was a competition organized by Nestle, which got me depressed, though I trained hard for the competition but I didn't win the gold medal.I was forced to evaluate my training activities, it yielded positive result and in the next competition I won 4 Gold medals.
**What is Evaluation?**
Evaluation in a Lehman's unddrstanding, is the act of accessing, readjusting set out plans to achieve the desired result.
*The famous John Wooden once said "Without proper evaluation, failure is inevitable" .*
Evaluating one's decision is a sure way of avoiding a repetition of the same mistaken.It's a process of weighing decisions, finding the appropriate steps to take in every situation.
**Points to consider**
They are certain factors we need to consider when evaluating life challenges;
1) **Positivity** : Being positive that your new plans will work is key to achieving a good result. You don't just wake up to make decisions without having this belief that it will turn out right.
During my training days, I was to race with stronger athletes who were more experience that myself, I was scared but was careful not to be Allow fear overshadow me.Day of the competition , I won because I was positive.
2) **Weigh your decisions** : This is very important , before a decision is valid, it must pass through series level of assessment, you don't wake up to make decisions out of the blue, What if, I jog to work everyday, will it boast my skills?, what if I stop taking sugary food will it help reduce my weight, what if I study, 8 hours per day, will it increase my performance in school.
3) **Have a wide range of plans** ; This is the first step to being prepared for anything, always have a plan B. Knowing well that life can be funny at times, the set goals might not come out right, what other plans do I have to make it work. Thats the beauty of having a wide range of plans. I still remember when I wanted opening a Grocery store in my locality, it was a tough decision to make as they were more grocery stores than they were people.
I quickly changed my mind, when I discovered they were no eateries around and today, we are making more profit from it than if I had open a grocery store . Always have a wide range of plans to choose from.
4) **Compare and Contrast**; This has been a tool have used for over a while now, I tend to compare my past sales with the present one. I could remember in beginning of the month of March I made quiet low sales than the month of February, I wasn't productive enough, I had to compare my activities in the two months and found out, I had went to the broadcasting station to advertise my business, that was the leap I had in February. I had to employ it again and the sales were becoming average. What am I trying to tell you, you need to change your performance if you are expecting a better result.
5) **Have a score sheet**; A score sheet is what will determine, where the necessary changes has to be made, I had a score sheet for every activities I did, and it helped me excel, you don't just wake up to make decisions, you need to have a data of all your activities. This has help me a lot.
Dear readers, I hope this will help you in making more concise decisions in future, see you at the top.
Lead image source : unsplash
What If tomorrow never comes ?
I stood by the bedside with tears in my eyes looking at how they wrapped her, the doctor whisper few words into her father's ear, immediately he turned to look at my direction, my heart skipped a beat, ' what have I done, was all I could mumbled" .
Then I saw tears rolled down his eyes, I was forced to move close, not scared of being strangled by Mr. Douglas. He hugged me tightly . I sniffed and broke down crying, ha! What have I done, she is gone. Gone forever...
I know you all want to know what really happened, Her name was Sonia, the first girl I ever admired but was to scared to tell her.
**Introvert!**
That was the word, that deprived me a lot of happiness, how was I to break free from it, that was the question I usually asked myself. My name is Jason, friends called me 'jay jay', timid but intelligent. I was the love of the class because I was always ready to help whenever the need arises. Everyone was curious to know the love of my life, I don't know why, maybe cause I was too caring, each time they asked me who she was, I will always smile and never say anything. Where was the courage to ask anyone out, I felt you needed some kind of supernatural powers to do that. Every valentine's day met me without a lover.
Something happened one day, this beautiful damsel walked into the canteen and got all head turned, she was the new girl, Lucas told me about, what a goddess I thought I whispered, only for everyone to turn and laughed at my direction, then I heard them say "awwwwn" . I was death struck, I almost spilled my drink on myself, I ran out to get some air. Then I heard Lucas laughing behind me, "I told you she was as beautiful as the sun, hope you've found your better half, he said with a sigh.
**Introvert!!!!!!!**
That was all my mind could tell me, jay-jay you know very well, how uneasy it is to talk to a lady, not even the one as beautiful like the new girl, how do you intend to do so! My heart beat was increased. I slowly looked up and told, Lucas " I don't even like her, I was reading a line from a novel I was reading, never knew I was that loud. Common, Lucas, I can't be so carried away by a stranger, you know. All this while trying to convince my friend, I knew I was lying. He gave a funny face and we both laughed walking back to class. Though I tried so hard to cover up, I knew deep down, I was in love with Sonia, but how do I man up to tell her was the problem.
Months passed by, the love become stronger, I just couldn't sundue the feelings anymore, I mustered some courage, I walked up to her after our story break, only for me to lost my voice. I stood for long without saying anything, seems her beauty wiped out every sense off me, I was woken from my trance by laughters from her friends... As usual, I ran to the rest room...
**Introvert!!!!!!!!**
I was screaming and hitting hard in the Door, I just wanted be in free from being robbed off what I duly deserve. Mr. Wilson the school psychologist walked into the toilet, I was soaked in my own tears and sweat, I just couldn't put up with life anymore. He asked what happened, at first I hesitated telling him, he placed his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "son, I saw you through my window, you took that bold step, which wasn't bold enough and now you are back to your starting point, its hard for you but trust me I will help you. I quickly clean my eyes and was ready to pay any price for this salvation I was about to receive. He cleared his throat, but stopped to look at how serious I was, he smiled and told me, "It's gonna be alright" .
Mr. Wilson gave me a textbook on how to boast my self esteem, I devoted more time for it, than I did to school work. My grades gradual reduced, but who cares, all I ever cared for was to own Sonia. On completion of the book, he took me to the park, "let's assume, that was Sonia standing over there, how will you approach her, he said pointing to a girl standing at the other side of the park.
I told him all that I had studied, he was impressed then asked me to try it out..My feets became so heavy to carry me, but I had to force myself, since I didn't want to twart his efforts, I walked up to the girl. I tapped gently on her shoulder, "Hi! My name is Jason, I stood afar watching wanted to ask, if I could join you? She smiled and looked at me, lo! And behold she was Sonia, though she looked slightly different, because of the head warmer she was wearing. My heart almost flew out of my mouth, she answered sure, you are free... I couldn't say any more words, as we stood there watching some kids play football. We both stole glances at each other. I wanted to tell how I felt, but I was shut down by the tiny voice in my head, screaming
**Introvert!!!!!!!**
Her dad came to pick her in the evening, I could read the disappointed written all over her face, Mr. Wilson was also disappointed, I sat looking out of the window till he drove me home. When I was about to open the door, he held my hands and asked me "why, did you mess it all up" I replied "am so sorry sir, I will try again tomorrow"
*He echoed back almost immediately " What if tomorrow never comes ?*
It was so true, that was the last time, I saw Sonia. She was diagnosed of Leukemia, and her condition got worst as The day went by. The day I met with her at the park, she was undergoing her 4th chemotherapy and the doctor, had told her she had just 3 days to live.
Mr. Wilson called me to tell me abt the health of Sonia, I ran out of his office and went directly to the hospital. On opening the door, I met them wrapping her up, yeah! She was dead, gone for eternity. I stood there crying, his dad handed me the letter she wrote:
*Dear Jason;*
*By the time, you are reading this I should be dead, I hope you will stay strong for me. I noticed you had feelings for me, but you were so careful in not letting me know, I won't blame you dear, I understood you were an introvert, I fell in love with you since the very first day, you called me a goddess at the canteen, I was waiting for you to make a move and I would have dived right into your arms. I had to pay Mr. Wilson, to help boast your level of confidence, of which I was impressed the very first day, you touched me at the park, though it was a tap but I think admitting it was a touch, helps to calm me down. When he told me, you were doing just fine, I requested he brought you to the park, I just wanted spending my last day on earth with you. Though I did but I wasn't chanced to tell you how much I love you. Baby! I wish we had happened but we didn't because I wouldn't have love to watch you get hurt, when am gone. Do take care of yourself, make sure you practice all that Mr. Wilson had taught you, and never be scared to express your feelings.*
*I will always smile at you from heaven. Good bye my introvert lover. I love you so much.*
*With love from Sonia.*
**Lead image from: Unsplash**
I wept uncontrollable. Dear friends, if you love someone, don't be scared to tell them, because, you don't know what will happen the next moment. Tell that special someone, you love them. Spread the love and not your weakness.
Thank you for reading........
@Wrinkle
